Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tuesday Night Music 3 29 11

you knew it was coming

So the word is that, after berating Obama for not producing a Birth Certificate, Trump was so energized to show up our President that he produced not one, but two -- just to show that Usurper how it's done.

This, of course, raises the question as to which one is the forgery.

It also calls into question any number of other facts. Are we sure the forged one is really forged, and not merely altered? Do we have the identity of people who turned it in on his behalf straight?

Was the improper one -- which may or may not be forged or simply altered -- really delivered by mistake, or is it part of a larger, more devious plot to confound eligibility skeptics?

I also note that his mother was born in Scotland. Does this not imply that she was, perhaps, not a citizen of the United States at the time of his birth, thus making him ineligible for the highest office in America?

I'm sure there are many who share my concerns. Perhaps they could join me in demanding that, in the interest of total disclosure, Mr. Trump also release his kindergarten records, driving school test scores, college transcripts, potty training details, and hair care specifics.

Especially that last one.

Of course, this is all politics as unusual. I fully expect Trump to break all records for trick shooting by nailing himself in the foot while it's in his mouth while his head's up his ass.

I also expect the Trump 2012 train to crash into a mountain, Wile E. Coyote style, when it becomes apparent that the only ideas he's brought to the electoral table involve being Donald Trump. Ross Perot, anyone?

(Where IS he, these days?)

But while we're awaiting the wreck, we have time to dance before the station explodes into matchsticks and hairspray. Tonight we can kick out the jams to a genuine one-hit-wonder: Re-Flex's The Politics of Dancing.

It may have said everything that needed to be said about politics in our age.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Birther Week in Review: 3 26 11

tell your barber he's fired, too

In which Trump makes a mess, Bachman-Sorenson Overdrive have a Presidential jam session, Arizona Birther Bill WILL NOT DIE, and Farah admits to unchristian behavior

As we reported last week, Donald Trump has apparently decided to throw himself ahead of potential GOP Presidential Candidates by jumping on the Birther bandwagon before anyone else did.

(Well, except for Andy Martin, but to hell with him.)

The Trump had a chance to expound on his views on, appropriately enough, The View this week.

"Why doesn't he show his birth certificate?" a tanned Trump asked the women of "The View" and its audience.

"I want him to show his birth certificate. I want him to show his birth certificate," ...

"There's something on that birth certificate that he doesn't like," Trump declared.

"Oh that's a terrible thing to say," "View" co-host Barbara Walters said.

Whoopi Goldberg was a little less restrained in her criticism, and referred to his comments as "the biggest pile of dog mess I’ve heard in ages." One wonders if she's ever happened by World Net Daily.

n.b. The comment about there being something indemnifying on Obama's birth certificate is a long-standing slander, usually regarding his being born illegitimately or to a different father or mother than he claims. One theory has it that he's not at all Black, which makes one wonder how many Black people those theorists know.

Whether this appearance improves Trump's chances or shoots them in the foot remains to be seen. As for the wisdom of having him on the show to embarrass himself -- or the hosts -- we should remember that they let Alex Jones, on, too.

As for his chances, Trump had better get his game on quick: Michelle Bachman -- Birther Lady in Waiting -- is picking up speed for a nomination run, and gotten some backup from another, rather key Birther figure.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) is likely to form a presidential exploratory committee, two advisers said Thursday. The committee could be formed as soon as May but no later than June.


Bachmann is currently in Iowa, speaking to grassroots activists and state legislators. This morning she addressed the state Senate caucus and has secured the support of Iowa state Sen. Kent Sorenson.

Yes, that would be THE Kent Sorenson -- architect of Iowa's birther bill. Birds of a feather flocking together? This probably won't end well at all.

In other Birther Bill news, it would appear that Arizona's defeated Birther Bill is not going down without a fight.

PHOENIX — Legislation that would require proof of U.S. birth from presidential candidates is intersecting in Arizona with the question of whether U.S.-born children of illegal immigrants are entitled to automatic citizenship.

The proposed legislation on documentation requirements for candidates asks for information on the citizenship of a candidate’s parents. Tea party backers said Wednesday they believe people are only natural-born citizens if their parents are citizens.


A Senate committee on Wednesday endorsed the bill after deleting the provision on citizenship of a candidate’s parents, but it remains in a version approved Tuesday by a House panel.

The term "parasite" is being bandied about. Always nice when Birthers have to resort to bot-fly tactics to get ahead.

And speaking of parasites, by which we mean World Net Daily, -- home of the Crisis Cooker -- Joseph Farah has once again shown his questionable journalism skills. In an editorial, he admits that he lied to passport agencies in order to find out information he could have discovered if he'd just told the truth.

Whatever happened to the ten commandments, Mr. Farah? One wonders if we will soon be seeing bylines from James O'Keefe on WND...?

See you next week, and remember: "The wise understand by themselves; fools follow the reports of others"

Hey, wait...

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Birther Week in Review: 3 19 11

Ask about our severance package

In which Trump gets Fired, Orly loses again, Farah whines again, and Georgia Birther Bill burns alive in a windmill

Donald Trump must have been reading a certain poll regarding Republicans and their strange delusions regarding our President's birthplace. This week, he decided to throw his hat in the ring for Birther in Chief.

Donald Trump, who says he's weighing a run for president next year, waded into the "birther" controversy this week, telling ABC's "Good Morning America" that he has "a little doubt" that Barack Obama was born in the United States.

The reason? Trump said he finds it strange that "nobody knew" Obama as a young child in Hawaii.

"Let me tell you . . . if I got the nomination, if I decide to run, you may go back and interview people from my kindergarten. They'll remember me. [With Obama,] nobody comes forward. Nobody knows who he is until later in his life. It's very strange."

What was very strange was Trump doesn't seem to have talked to Obama's old teachers. Or the current Governor of Hawai'i for that matter. If an intern on his show had made that kind of mistake, you know what Donald would say... right?

As for other Republicans possibly making the White House run, Rudy Guiliani is joining those who think the Birther thing is getting more than a little tiring.

"He's born in the United States, I don't see any real question about that," Giuliani said. "And even if some people have some doubts in the back of their minds it's really too late and futile. ... We have so many more important things to talk about."

Countdown to some Birther making cracks about how Rudy looks in a dress...?

Speaking of speculative journalism, Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, who recently outed himself as a Birther (in spite of legal threats to the contrary) whined twice in the same week that, in spite of having a full plate of issues to contend with, the President would rather make jokes about Birthers than produce the non-existent Long Form Birth Certificate.

going once:

Barack Obama cut off the playing of "Hail to the Chief" by the U.S. Marine Band as he was introduced and asked: "Can we go with that song we talked about?"

With that, the band broke into Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."

"Some things just bear repeating," Obama cracked.


going twice:

"There's no weakness in us trying to reach out and seeing if we can find common ground," he said, apparently without the aid of a teleprompter at a fundraiser last week in Boston. "Now, there are going to be times where we can't. I was born in Hawaii. What can I say? I mean, I just ... I can't change those facts."

Ha ha.

In the first article, Farah acted like a kid who's had sand kicked into his face by beach bullies (who apparently won't let him into the Gridiron Club, to hear him grouse about it)

But remember what they say, "He who laughs last laughs best."

I intend to have the last laugh at Obama's expense – and the expense of all his friends and admirers in the Washington press establishment.

Good luck there, Joey. I don't think Charles Atlas made a book that turns pipe dreams into journalistic gold.

Did we say "pipe dreams"? We can't talk about Pipe Dreams without talking about America's favorite can't-do gal, Orly Taitz. Orly had another setback this week, as her attempt to punish fellow California Secretary of State candidate Damon Dunn for having the temerity to run against her and win failed - big time.

Orly Taitz, the Laguna Niguel lawyer/dentist/real-estate saleswoman/frequent Navel Gazing muse, lost yet another round in court Thursday. A judge ruled against Taitz and in favor of Irvine's Damon Dunn, a fellow Republican (and losing) California secretary of state candidate she had accused of being ineligible to run.


Speaking of the delusional, Taitz stated at a hearing Monday that if she wound up losing Taitz v. Dunn, she would have to file a complaint alleging violation of her constitutional right to redress, a court watcher tells the Weekly. When Judge Geoffrey T. Glass pointed out that Taitz could merely appeal, she apparently responded, "99 percent of those are denied anyway."

That's our Orly!

Finally, it would seem that the lurching monster that is George House Bill 401 has failed to get its pitchfork-perforated ass voted on, and is therefore D E A D, and will not be appearing in the intended sequel on the floor of the state senate.

(the bill) would have required candidates for President to submit long-form birth certificates showing their birth parents’ residence addresses and many other items of irrelevant information. It also required candidates to have two US citizen parents, a requirement beyond what is in the US Constitution. The bill was transparently engineered to embarrass Barack Obama by putting conspiracy theories about Obama’s origins into legislation.

(hat tip to Doc Conspiracy at Obama Conspiracy Theories)

See you next week, and remember: "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

Friday, March 11, 2011

WND's Joseph Farah Finally Admits he's a Birther

I'm a birther, yet im not

After several months of insisting that, in spite of helping create and popularize the greatest non-issue of the Obama Administration, he was not, himself, a Birther, Joseph Farah has finally slipped up and admitted that he is, though he may not be entirely aware of his mistake (yet).

Full story here, at Op Ed News.

Monday, March 07, 2011

Newly Released 9/11 Video Reveals True Culprits! (Maybe)

Evil Bert IS

A new, previously-unrevealed film of the Twin Towers burning and then collapsing was made public over the internet today. The seventeen-minute video, which was included in the 9/11 Commission's body of evidence, was the focus of an FOIA request lodged by the National Institute of Standards and Technology. They declined to release it publicly, but it was somehow given over to Cryptome, who made certain it could be seen by all.

The film is raw and shocking, even almost ten years later. But even more shocking is what's seen if one watches the movie with special etheric goggles: electronic eyewear that allows one to see things that are not normally visible to the naked eye, such as temporal anomalies, hasty "rewrites" of history, and pan-fictional entities that strobe through objective reality like fingers waggled in front of a television set.

If one does, one sees many interesting things -- at least according to Tim Foil, conspiracy theorist extraordinaire, author of Saturday Night Holocaust: How Hitler Invented Disco, exposer of the Easter Bunny's Communist Leanings and the Reagan/Khadafy/UFO connection, and, more importantly to this latest, terrifying twist in the field of 9/11 Truth, that Cookie Monster was JFK's assassin.

According to Tim Foil, if you watch the film around 4:13 (right when the audible voice is yelling "Holy Crap") with Etheric goggles, you will see what looks like a giant, yellow robot with a very pointy head, beady eyes, bushy eyebrows, and a tuft of black hair. It can clearly be seen dancing in the smoke and cackling over the devastation.

This, according to Tim Foil, is Mecha-Bert -- exo-god tyrant of the year 2635 (621 in the New Calendar). What it's doing back in 2011, destroying the World Trade Center and part of the Pentagon, is a question no one has a sufficient answer to. But the reason no one can see it without special equipment is because, for the last several years, various agencies of the American Government have done everything possible to cover this horrible time invasion up -- just not with each others' knowledge of having done so.

"As I've reported in the past, the muppets are a cabal of psychopathic monsters," Tim said over the internet from the bunker he's been hiding in since last Christmas: "Worse than that, they're super-mega rich psychopaths. They could buy Bill Gates and use him as a toilet. That's the kind of money we're talking about, here. And the American Government is both scared shitless of them, and unable to make a move against them, because if they leave, we lost 11/12ths of our underground economy, go bankrupt, and get taken over by China -- if we're lucky."

According to Tim Foil's painstaking research, it's fear of economic reprisals or muppet boycotts that led the CIA to let one Howard "Cookie" Monster shoot a sitting President over a quarrel over Marilyn Monroe's baking skills, amongst many other hidden atrocities. The long-standing understanding between the various Agencies has been to let the Muppets do what they wanted, and clean up after by any means necessary.

However, on September 11th, 2001, the pigeon-shit hit the fan in a big, big way. How could they hope to cover up absolute evidence of a time invasion by the future incarnation of one of the most evil and wealthy beings alive -- Saffron "Bert" Conehead?

According to Tim, the answer lay in a peculiar device that the Secret Service found in Utah in 1879.

"Back in the late 19th century, the Secret Service was a two-fisted, rough and tumble organization that specialized in handling some very weird threats to America's security. This was back before it was turned into a clearing house for Alien sympathizers and Communist dupes, of course. Since then they've done away with all their cool gadgets and technology and made do with machine guns in purses. Hardly a butch weapon!

"In 1879, two of its best agents wrested a large box away from some diabolical madman who was attempting to open it and be the first man to travel back in time, hopefully doing chronal damage to America's history. Unfortunately, with the madman dead, there was no way to operate it safely, and all they could do was bring it back to Washington, codename it 'The Night of the Time Cabinet,' and keep it under observation until they managed to find the owner's manual. They never did."

However, according to Foil, on September 11th, 2001, the lights of the machine came on for the first time in over 100 years, and the device made itself easy to operate. The current speculation is that the machine was tied into whatever device Mecha-Bert used to travel back from the 27th century, and proximity to it turned it back on again.

However it happened, the American government now had access to a time machine. And the first order of the day was to use it to mask what had happened from the American people, even if they had to break every law of time to do it.

"It's funny in a way, "Foil commented: "The MIHOP Truthers (Made It Happen On Purpose) are more right than they know, however removed. The Bush Administration actually did create the events of 9/11, right up to inventing Al-Qaeda for Bert to join up with in the first place. It's just that they did so to cover up the real culprit."

The problem was that, in true pre-9/11 style, the changes to the timestream were done by the various Agencies without telling each other what they had done.

First there were three hijacked planes that accounted for the three targeted buildings, but then they wondered why the plotters hadn't aimed at the Capitol, too, and added a fourth plane.

Then they realized that planes couldn't account for all the damage and replaced them with cruise missiles, sometimes disguised as planes, and sometimes not. Passengers were alternately on board, not on board, and taken away to live on a cruise liner for the rest of their natural lives.

Then they realized the planes couldn't bring down the towers and laced them with thermite. Then the thermite was replaced with nano-thermite from the year 2102. Then lasers and mini-nukes were brought into the equation, along with several other, more exotic devices -- all at the same time.

"It was, in the words of one contact of mine, a 'screaming, bloody fucking mess.'" Foil added: "It also explains how there are so many divergent notions of what happened on that terrible day. They're all right, sort of. It's just that they're all right and all wrong at once, and while they're arguing with each other over what the FBI did after the CIA undid what the NSA did, the real culprit is sitting on the black hole throne of what's left of Thailand, far off in the future, and laughing at our inability to make war on him."

Tim Foil says that he realizes his latest expose will probably have no real effect on things, but he feels he must present the truth as he knows it for as long as he can until "they" come to shut him down.

"I've said time and again that history demands an answer. I can only hope these answers demand more answers in turn."