Thursday, April 28, 2011

Birtherism - Hey Farah, Where's the 15K?

Buddy can you spare a soul?

Remember what I was saying yesterday about watching what you say to your arch-nemesis?

Well, in the case of Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, it's worse than I ever imagined. Also funnier.

"We've tried the stick," said Farah. "Now let's try the carrot. Obama has said he was born in Kapi'olani Hospital in Honolulu. He participated in a fund-raiser for the medical center in January. WND will send a check in the amount of $15,000 to whatever birth hospital is listed on his long-form birth certificate. All Obama has to do to see that donation made is to release it publicly."

Well I'll be a monkeys uncle. How did I miss that? I must have been asleep in August of 2009 when that goober made that pledge.

(And Mr. Farah must have been really busy last night. As of this writing, if you go over to the original story, at WND, the paragraph has been altered, and now they're saying $10,000. They've also taken down the bumper sticker you used to be able to buy advertising the pledge drive. Holy History-Eraser Buttons, Stimpy!)

But one thing's for sure -- don't bring that up to Joseph Farah! He's not in the mood to make good on that promise right now, as this interview with Cenk Uygur shows.

He's just going to have to take his time. I'm sure he's hoping the promise will just go away in a news cycle or two.

Will it? How loud can we get?

I hereby declare MONEYWAR. From here on out, any and all efforts must be undertaken to rub Farah's nose in this promise until such time as he either pays up, or admits he's reneged on his promise.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Birtherism - The Last Laugh is on Joseph Farah

Have you seen my bag of spin?

"Nevertheless, even Obama has moments of candor. Like the time he said: "The only people who don't want to disclose the truth are the people with something to hide."

But remember what they say, "He who laughs last laughs best."

I intend to have the last laugh at Obama's expense – and the expense of all his friends and admirers in the Washington press establishment."

That was Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, publisher of World Net Daily, back in March. Farah, possibly agitated that World Net Daily doesn't get invited into the Gridiron Club (the cost of iconoclasm?) went on a tear about how the President used the occasion to launch some well-deserved laughs at the Birthers.

The editorial isn't too remarkable, far as Farah's near-constant beating of the Birther drum goes. It goes on to repeat the lie about Barack Obama not handing over a Birth Certificate, and makes far too much hay about what on earth might be hiding on the "real" one.

But it was the final shot, repeated up at the top of this missive, which made me pay special attention to this one.

Joseph Farah must not have read a lot of superhero comics as a kid. You never, ever, EVER publicly swear to have the last laugh on your arch-nemesis. Because when he turns the tables, and you're sitting in jail for failing to conquer the world with a radioactive turnip, you would not believe how ridiculous you will look.

Which brings us to today.

Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the last 24 hours, you would know that -- after a week in which CNN viciously took most of the big Birther myths behind the toolshed for a good whipping -- President Obama finally decided that enough was enough. After years of being henpecked by a literal legion of flakes, failed activists, legal ignoramuses, convicted forgers, anonymous non-experts, conspiracy-pushers, would-be Presidents, and at least one crusading publisher (that's Joey), released the one thing that all these people have been asking to see, denying the existence of, or faking a Kenyan clone of.

The big bad original Birth Certificate that the COLB is based on can now be viewed. Note where it says he was born, and has a doctor's signature. Also note how it says nothing about him being a Muslim, or being adopted by his wife's second husband, or being born anywhere outside of the United States of America.

Note how many people should be feeling really, really small right about now. In particular, every single person who ever "produced" one of those Kenyan birth certificates, or vouched for the authenticity of one, needs to step off.

(Most of them were anonymous internet presences, anyway, but it's the principle of the thing.)

One person who is not feeling the least bit small is out good friend of the large hair, Donald Trump. He's very happily taking credit for the entire thing, He even thinks he did America a great service, rather than making us look like a laughing stock.

Maybe he actually does deserve some credit. Before he started beating the dead horse into sub-atomic glue the noise machine had largely been reduced to pathetic warblings from our friend Orly Taitz, the occasional yawp from Andy Martin, and, of course, the drum drum drum from Whirled Nut Daily.

Then Trump starts asking the question, and the news decides it IS news, and what was a laugh line at the Gridiron became a genuine distraction for the Commander in Chief.

But what about our friend, Joseph Farah, and his standing in all of this? He finally got a Birth Certificate, and it confirms NOTHING of what he suspected all along. Does he feel shamed? Embarrassed? Does he feel the overwhelming need to crawl under a rock?

Hell no. He feels like he just won a trip to Disneyland.

Joseph Farah, editor and chief executive officer of WND, the only news agency that has waged a relentless investigative campaign on questions swirling around the Obama’s eligibility for nearly three years, was elated at the turn of events.

"We're gratified that our work has begun to pay off," he said. "The certificate of live birth is an absolutely vital foundation for determining constitutional eligibility of any president. We look forward to reviewing it like so many other Americans do at this late date. But it is important to remember there are still dozens of other questions concerning this question of eligibility that need to be resolved to assure what has become a very skeptical public concerning Barack Obama’s parentage, his adoption, his citizenship status throughout his life and why he continues to cultivate a culture of secrecy around his life."

And, in another story:

In an interview with The Washington Post, publisher Joseph Farah said that he “fully expected this to happen” and takes credit for Obama releasing his birth certificate. “I’m delighted! I’m triumphant!”

“There were two pressure points,” Farah said. “This book and its success, and Trump’s big megaphone. Those two things raised the stakes for Obama. He had to do something.”

Oh yeah, that book. That would be Jerome “Swiftboat / Obamanation” Corsi’s “Where’s the Birth Certificate?” Due out in May, courtesy of, you guessed it, World Net Daily.

The book that, thanks to a leak of info (possibly direct from WND, itself) onto the Drudge Report, is doing really well on Amazon.

A book that, in light of what we now know to be true, is obviously not worth the paper it’s going to be printed on, if all it has going for it is even more asinine speculation and conspiracy-mongering about our President and his birthplace.

So how's Corsi handling this turn of events?

As for the book, Farah said there were no plans to update it before it release next month.


Farah, who spoke with Corsi earlier today, said the author’s reaction was “just like I expected.”

“He is deeply suspicious of the authenticity of this document,” Farah said, “and believes that we shouldn’t jump to conclusion about it.”

Because you know, the whole state of Hawai'i is going to stand for massive fraud. Really.

But all that's just a side issue. What Corsi does with what will soon be the greatest, most expensive paperweight outside of last year's virus-infected laptop is a side issue. What Tim Adams does to try and rehabilitate his extremely questionable story on WND is also a side issue.

The real issue: how does Joseph Farah figure he's going to get the last laugh, now that he's been proven to have been dealing in lies and falsehoods for the last few years?

How can he countenance his having smeared Obama's Parents and Grandparents, making them complicit in some global, far-reaching scheme to take a young man born in Kenya -- or wherever -- and get him into the White House?

How can he make restitution for having cheered on legal ignoramuses like Orly Taitz in their quest to unseat a legally-elected President based on what has been proven to be a massive lie?

How can he ever make it right with former LTC Terry Lakin, who's still sitting in military prison for having disobeyed lawful orders based on misinformation that Farah helped spread?

How can he ever pay that man back for having cheered on his dereliction of duty, based on what turned out to be a bloody falsehood?

How can he look America, and his readers, in the eyes with a straight face and say he was just following good journalistic impulses? How can he claim to have been working for truth and justice -- the cornerstones of good journalism -- when he's been up to his waders in lies and injustice?

How is he going to go forward when his own words keep dragging him back?

It is clear from his writings on the subject that Joseph Farah would now like to move the goalposts to the next logical conclusion: now that we know his father was an African national, is Obama actually an NBC? But that way lies a lot of cockamamie legal opinion from a few people who don't understand how America's laws work in regards to dual citizens, or those born here from non-citizens. Everyone else knows how it works, and it's not what Farah and his cronies envision.

Not in the slightest.

If Joseph Farah had any decency, whatsoever, he would stop, right now. He would apologize to the President for having dragged his name through the mud for no reasons whatsoever. He would make restitution, possibly by taking a long sabbatical from WND, and maybe working as a normal beat reporter somewhere to regain his understanding of what good and decent journalism actually is.

He would STFU about this Birther thing, already, and attack Obama for legitimate policy beefs. Or at least go back to libeling Bill Clinton, or Muslims, or something like that.

But as we've seen, "Farah" and "Decency" go together like orange juice and motor oil.

The last laugh has been had, Mr. Farah. It was on you. Try and understand that.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tuesday Night Music 4 26 11

your mail-in-the-box-tops legal degree doesn't fly in Arizona

It's a hard thing, in our cocksure world of yapping mouths and talking heads, to realize that our perceptions of people are often only gleaned from the briefest, most incomplete of studies. Harder still to recognize when someone you don't have much in common with does the right thing for the right reasons.

Whoever thought I'd thank Arizona Governor Jan Brewer for anything, other than giving the anti-immigrant hoot-n-holler types a flag to rally 'round, the better to know who they were?

But I got proven wrong this last week -- big time. I was positive that the dreaded Arizona Birther Bill, after being passed, was going to get a big old "JAN" right across its bow.

I also wondered when the next time someone from Arizona would be able to run for President, given that the state stopped producing forms acceptable to the Bill, itself, not that long ago.

But Governor Brewer vetoed it. And she didn't just do it quietly, either.

"As a former Secretary of State (sic), I do not support designating one person as the gatekeeper to the ballot for a candidate, which could lead to arbitrary or politically-motivated decisions," Brewer wrote in her veto message to House Speaker Kirk Adams.

"In addition, I never imagined being presented with a bill that could require candidates for President (sic) of the greatest and most powerful nation on earth to submit their "early baptismal or circumcision certificates" among other records to the Arizona Secretary of State. This is a bridge too far,"


Arizona's lawmakers had a chance to overturn the veto, in the dying hours of that session. They decided they'd rather name the Colt Revolver the state's official firearm. I guess they wanted to go out with a bang?


Of course, reactions from the peanut gallery was swift and predictable. Orly shat herself with the righteous indignation that only the terminally wrong and questionable of ethics can muster. (Bernadette Arnold? Really?)

Others were less kind, and Orly's web page has been a non-stop, one-stop shopping location for any and all conspiracy theories regarding Brewer's non-existent flip-flop.

Me? I'm just glad that this person, with whom I thought I'd never see eye-to-eye, had the decency (however fleeting) to do the right thing. And it WAS the right thing, clearly.

We are reminded that sometimes even the people we think we are not going to agree with us are secret allies in the eternal game of compromise. Without them, we go nowhere fast.

But it's Tuesday night, and that means music. This song's been ratting 'round my head for a few days, which means it's time to share. "Pure Morning" by Placebo. "A friend in need's a friend indeed."

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Birther Week in Review 4 16 11 - Special WND Edition

not long enough to sell a crisis cooker...

In which our friends at World Net Daily make such a poor showing for themselves that it's a wonder they haven't died of shame. Oh wait, they don't have any. Also, Orly Tatiz notices our humble efforts, and Arizona's birther bill passes, but may not matter

Longtime readers of the rANT Farm will be well-versed in our long-running march of shame against World Net Daily -- home of some of the sloppiest drive-by journalism you'll see online. Published by Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, the site has become the clearing house for Birther misinformation, and the primary cheerleader for their frivolous lawsuits and judicial shenanigans.

In that regard, this has been something of a banner week for Whirled Nut Daily.

Still reeling from Dr. Fukino's one-two bodyblow regarding the existence of our President's vital records (without which there would be no Certificate of Live Birth for Farah to decry), our intrepid publisher decided to move the goalposts. Hawaii birth or no, Obama's not a NBC because... wait for it...

If, indeed, (The COLB) is a true and accurate representation of Obama's actual birth, it should be considered prima facie evidence that he is not constitutionally eligible to be president.


Because Obama's parents were in no position to confer "natural born citizenship" upon him regardless of where he may have been born.

Barack Hussein Obama Sr. was a Kenyan visiting student in the U.S. in August 1961. Stanley Ann Dunham was a citizen of the U.S. but too young under the law to confer even ordinary citizenship upon her offspring in August 1961.

Of course, neither of those things matter, unless you want to tell me that every 16 year old girl who gives birth without knowing who the father is just cranked out a non-President.

However, the best lines in Farah's articles are the following two: I don't trust Obama to tell the truth about anything. His autobiography is full of falsehoods.

Remember the proverb about the pot, the kettle, and the color black? Well, less than a week before Farah stuck his chest out for the cause, one of his favorite smear merchants really screwed the pooch.

Meet Jack Cashill. You might know him as the author of Deconstructing Obama -- a book that claims, amongst other things, that Barack Obama did not write either of his books, based on some "analysis" Mr. Cashill apparently did.

Well here's a sign of how careful Mr. Cashill is with his research. In a piece called Barack Obama's Missing Year, our investigator showed photographic proof that the manufacturers of Obama's background did a poor photoshop job of inserting a young Barry onto a park bench between his loving grandparents.

Except there's just one problem. It quickly became obvious to anyone who looked at the "before" and "after" pictures that the "before" was the cheesy photoshop, and the "after" was the real photo all along.

Media Matters pointed out the oopsie. The article's two lead paragraphs were struck without explanation. Business as usual for WND!

But then entered Salon reporter Justin Elliot. The day before Farah decided it was time to move the goalposts, Mr. Elliot wrote an article connecting the dots between Donald Trump and Sarah Palin's false claims that the President had spent two million dollars hiding his birth certificate, and World Net Daily's reporting on the subject -- specifically articles by WND writer Chelsea Schilling.

Elliot made the mistake of emailing Farah to ask for his input on the matter.

After my piece came out, Farah angrily emailed me to take issue with my characterization of WND as "a discredited birther website." ... The exchange started with Farah calling me a "smear merchant" and writing: "I notice you don’t bother to cite how WND has been discredited. That’s certainly excellent reporting on your part."

In any case, I wrote back to Farah with just one example, the latest, of WND's credibility problem. That would be this column by WND's Jack Cashill on "Barack Obama's missing year." The lead of the column aimed to debunk a famous photo of a young Obama flanked by his grandparents on a bench in New York City. As proof, Cashill embedded a YouTube video that purported to show that Obama had been photoshopped into the picture, and that the real image included only Obama's grandparents.

Unfortunately for Cashill the supposed "genuine" image -- the one without Obama -- was itself a sloppy photoshop job that still included part of Obama's knee between his grandparents. This was pointed out by Media Matters about eight hours after Cashill's column was published on WND.

At that point WND simply scrubbed the first two paragraphs of the story, without so much as an update, let alone a correction.

Note to Justin - never tell Farah the truth, it just makes him angry. However, when Farah gets angry, the truth comes out. (There's probably some Zen thing, there...)

When I pointed this out, Farah fired back (emphasis added):

"Jack Cashill is an OPINION columnist. Admittedly, we publish some misinformation by columnists, as does your publication and every other journal that contains opinion. Bill Press seldom gets anything right in his column, but because we believe in providing the broadest spectrum of OPINION anywhere in the news business, we tolerate that kind of thing. Yes, Cashill’s column contained an egregious error, which we corrected almost immediately, which is far more than I expect you to do in what I assume is a NEWS piece you wrote."

This is interesting, when you take this into account. (emphasis added)

On September 13, 2001, WND published a commentary by Anthony C. LoBaido regarding the September 11 attacks on New York City and Washington, D.C., two days earlier. In his column, LoBaido outlined what he regarded as the moral depravity of America in general and New York in particular, asking whether, "God (has) raised up Shiite Islam as a sword against America." Commentators Virginia Postrel of Reason magazine and James Taranto of the Wall Street Journal criticized LoBaido and Joseph Farah for the piece and called for columnists Hugh Hewitt and Bill O'Reilly to sever their ties with WND, prompting Farah to respond with a column of his own explaining that the article did not reflect the viewpoint of WND, and that it, like most other commentary pieces, had not been reviewed before being published.


But wait, it gets better!

I asked Farah if it is standard practice at WND to remove major sections of stories without any correction. To which he responded:

"How long have you been in this business, punk? My guess is you were in diapers when I was running major metropolitan newspapers. You call what you wrote a news story? You aren’t fit to carry Chelsea Schilling’s laptop.


And then it gets even better. Not content to merely call a critic a member of Lumbricus terrestris, Farah went on a tear to defend his dear friend.

I'd like you to compare and contrast and form your own opinions about the level of professionalism and journalistic integrity demonstrated by the two starkly different reporters, with starkly different approaches to journalism.

I'd like you to look at the two reporters and make any judgments you think are appropriate about them: Which one would you rather have dinner with? Which one would you most trust to babysit your kids? Which one would you most likely hire if you had the choice? Which one seems more trustworthy?


As I said, I'll take principled, professional reporters like Chelsea Schilling any day over sissified, left-wing bloggers pretending to do journalism.

Journalism, roughly defined as discovering that the Obama campaign paid out close to $2 million to a legal firm that handles all its legal matters, and then assumed that all or most of that money is going to "hiding" the Birth Certificate. Genius, that.

Salon has circled the wagons a bit, with reporter Alex Pareene laying down some well-deserved smack.

WorldNetDaily is a magnet for the dumbest, dullest wingnuts in America. Even its lawyer is a buffoon. Last year, WND sued the White House Correspondents' Association because WND's disreputable conspiracy website was only given one table at the Correspondents Dinner. (They do have a White House correspondent, actually. It's Les Kinsolving, a tragicomedy of a man who is invited to briefings solely to be called on when the press secretary wants to answer a stupid question about who wrote the president's memoir instead of a serious question about reality.) Anyway, their lawyer was Larry Klayman, who is not allowed to appear before courts in much of the United States because of his "total disregard for the judicial process."

Well now we see why they like Orly Taitz... except when they don't.

(N.B. It seems that article was scrubbed by the invisible hand of Farah, too, as the word "Gadfly" was used to describe Taitz when Badfiction quoted it. Seems they don't just adjust columns!)

But it's not all embarrassment for Farah this week. Word has it that Donald Trump and he have been confabbing quite a bit.

Kendra Marr of Politico reports that Farah says he and Trump talked every day this week, and he has been advising Trump on the basics of birtherism. "We've have been speaking quite a bit," Farah said.


According to Marr, Farah said he offered to give Trump a tutorial in birtherism once Trump started publicly asking questions about President Obama's birth certificate. "His people were very quick to respond," Farah said.


Farah and WND have been rejected by the broader conservative movement. They were barred from holding a panel on birther issues at the Conservative Political Action Conference in 2009, and haven't been welcomed back since.

This year WND ran an article theorizing that CPAC had been infiltrated by Muslims

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Stay classy, my friends.

Let it be resolved, all anti-Birther activists should do their best to rile Mr. Farah up at least once a week, in order for more nuggets of truth to come out. The term is called "gaslighting." Watch the movie.


Speaking of gaslighting, Orly Taitz apparently noticed one of our previous weeks in review. She isn't flattered.

More attacks from Obama operatives: they are altering my photographs, painting my eyes red, calling me a “terminator” and other names. And all of these thugs are working hard to provide a cover of the occupant of the White House

Sorry, Orly. Next time I'll pick a movie reference you might actually get. Still, I guess I'm no longer heading the "por-Obama Media"

Also, check out Orly in action on CNN. Good for a laugh, but I wish they'd let the other guest have more time to smack her facts out of the park.

And finally, we have bad and good(?) news from Arizona. The bad news is that the Birther Bill is headed to the Governor's desk for signing. The good news is that the state's Attorney General says that Obama's COLB is sufficient proof to pass muster under that law.

Bennett stated the hospital, physician and witness signatures mentioned in the bill are not absolute requirements, but only required “if applicable”. Bennett stated that as important as the birth certificate itself is, the accompanying certification of the copy is equally important. [The copy Bennett was shown lacked a visible seal and the stamp on the back was not reproduced.]

But you did notice the ? up there, right?

Bennett expressed concern, however, over lawsuits. Under the Arizona bill, any citizen could bring a suit over the Secretary of State’s decision. No matter what Bennett does, it is virtually certain that some citizen (or many of them) would file a lawsuit trying to overturn his decision. Given the tight time frame in the preparation of the ballot after candidate filing deadlines, Bennett could see a problem if there were lengthy legal battles.

Which means that, given the Birthers' pattern of judicial tyranny, it's almost certain that, should he say the COLB is kosher, someone's going to fly to AZ and want to sue, sue, sue.

Happy happy? Joy joy?

Until next time, remember "Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tuesday Night Music 4 12 11

 do what thou wilt

France's asinine ban on face coverings -- that is, Muslim veils -- went into effect today. The first lucky prize winner was a 27 year old woman who went into a Parisian shopping center in Muslim dress, rather than choosing one of the many other clothing options that France has to offer.

Like, say, stark naked -- a state of affairs President Sarkozy's wife was quite comfortable with in her modeling days.

For her troubles, this lucky young lady has won the opportunity to pay a 150 Euro fine (about $216 in real money). Either that or she can attend classes on French citizenship.

No doubt they'll skip over the bit on Liberty, Equality, and Brotherhood.

Why France? "Why not?" say apologists for this bit of friendly fascism. After all, this is the same country that banned all clear signs of religious affiliation in its public schools not more than seven years ago.

Isn't this just the next logical step to making sure France is keeping Church and State separated at all costs?

But what cost? What harm does it really do to allow those who believe that their God desires a different, higher level of modesty from them to follow that dictate? You can't force the tenets of feminism and so-called gender liberation upon those who think a higher being says otherwise.

That said, it's with some grim satisfaction that I read the police can fine those who force women to wear veils double... but good luck getting anyone to cop to that one.

But let's face it -- all arguments about security and separation aside, the real problem is that far too many in France are far too fearful of the specter of a silent invasion of Muslims. Within a generation their numbers have grown quite a bit, and brought with it the sort of things that your average beret-wearing, horse-eating Monsieur and Mademoiselle weren't really expecting to see when they went into the city for a night at the theater.

Religious diversity and all the messy things that go with it, in other words. "How dare they be Muslim in our country!"

How dare they indeed.

The lights are going out all over Europe in that regard. Burqa bans, minaret bans, stoppages on mosque construction. It's as if those pasty white fellows are finally deciding that they've had enough of a suspicious religious minority they don't understand, nor care to, be fruitful and multiply in their lovely communities.

If it sounds a familiar concept, it should -- substitute "Jew" for "Muslim" and you have Europe before WWII turned the noxious, everyday oppression of a religious minority into something altogether different.

Are we so different over here, in America? I'd like to think the answer is yes, but then I need only look at New York City to see that, even here, there are those who think religious freedom is only for them and theirs.

Just today, in my place of daily -- usually happy -- toil, I discovered that Robert Spencer has a new book. It's called the The Complete Infidel's Guide to the Koran.

The tagline is "He read the Koran so you don't have to," which seems to be the general level of discourse on the matter. Don't trust, let us fill you with fear. Don't think, let us do it for you.

Don't explore, let us pick your friends.

In a perfect world, we would all accept one another for our failings and successes, so long as those things caused us no harm. We would treasure our differences as well as our similarities.

We would seek friendship over strife and trust over suspicion.

We're nowhere near any of that. Even the best amongst us still cling to bullshit slogans like "tolerance" instead of speaking of the only true way to handle non-lethal differences -- namely acceptance.

Even the best are nowhere near good enough for the task at hand -- building a better world for those who will inherit it from us, and giving them an example to emulate and improve on, rather than run screaming away from.

Much like France seems to be hoping its Muslim population will do to it.

But it's Tuesday night, and that means music. Maybe this isn't the best song to talk about what I'm getting at, here, but I see your true colors, and that's why I love you. So don't be afraid to let them show.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Birther Week in Review: 4 9 11

right next to Jimmy Hoffa!

In which Dr. Fukino has the (hopefully) final word, after Trump gets spanked into the ground, Orly gets backed up and run over by World Net Daily, who may have an investigatorial connection to the Donald, and Arizona's Birther Bill moves closer to being law

Are you sick of listening to Donald Trump hit every bad note in the Birther Anthem, night after night? So is Dr. Chiyome Fukino, former Director of Hawaii's Department of Health, who hit back at the (mostly) one-note Presidential Presumptive after hearing her work dragged through the mud.

The Hawaiian state health official who personally reviewed Barack Obama's original birth certificate has affirmed again that the document is "real" and denounced "conspiracy theorists" in the so-called "birther" movement for continuing to spread bogus claims about the issue.


As the top Hawaiian official in charge of state health records in 2008, when the issue of Obama's birth first arose, Fukino said she thought she had put the matter to rest. Contacted by NBC, Fukino expanded on previous public statements and made two key points when asked about Trump's recent comments.

The first is that the original so-called "long form" birth certificate — described by Hawaiian officials as a "record of live birth" — absolutely exists, located in a bound volume in a file cabinet on the first floor of the state Department of Health. Fukimo said she has personally inspected it — twice.


Her second point — one she made repeatedly in the interview — is that the shorter, computer generated "certification of live birth" that was obtained by the Obama campaign in 2007 and has since been publicly released is the standard document that anybody requesting their birth certificate from the state of Hawaii would receive from the health department.

But wait. It gets even better.

... Wisch, the spokesman for the attorney general's office, said state law does not in fact permit the release of "vital records," including an original "record of live birth" — even to the individual whose birth it records.

"It's a Department of Health record and it can't be released to anybody," he said. Nor do state laws have any provision that authorizes such records to be photocopied, Wisch said. If Obama wanted to personally visit the state health department, he would be permitted to inspect his birth record, Wisch said.

But if he or anybody else wanted a copy of their birth records, they would be told to fill out the appropriate state form and receive back the same computer generated "certification of live birth" form that everybody else gets — which is exactly what Obama did four years ago.

POW. ZOOM. To the Moon. Unfortunately, as is visible on this thread over at Obama Conspiracy Theories, the Birthers are already trying to spin this right round like a record, baby.

(N.B. If you ever want to imagine what being a Birther must be like, imagine trying to be the shopkeeper in Monty Python's "Dead Parrot" Sketch. If only this myth was as bleeding demised!)

Dr. Fukino's vicious and vital de-pantsing of one of the central pieces of Birther mythology comes on the heels of a very in-depth dissection of Donald Trump's birther boilerplate, which has become more pronounced and punchline-worthy as time has gone on. Appropriately entitled "Donald, You're Fired," the piece at Factcheck covers a lot of essential ground, and is worth reviewing even if you're already well-versed.

The real question, of course, is why so many people, when interviewing the Donald, refuse to interrupt him with anything resembling a spine. Are they afraid of seeming to be partial to the President, or just afraid of being run over by the 5:00 Trump Train?

Speaking of being tossed under the train, that's exactly what happened to Orly Taitz this week, over at World Net Daily. (I guess they didn't have time for Michelle Bachmann.)

What's this? Did Barack Obama only attend Columbia University for nine months?

That was the indication of a report obtained from the Student Clearinghouse by eligibility attorney Orly Taitz, who has represented clients in legal challenges pertaining to Obama's bona fides.

But according to information obtained by WND, it appears Obama did indeed attend Columbia for two years.

What's interesting is that, on the page where I read the story, badfiction (tips hat), their quote read "by eligibility gadfly Orly Taitz." Did WND do a little housecleaning?

Speaking of World Net Daily, word has it that one of Donald Trump's investigators in Hawaii may be the one and only Jerome Corsi, who is soon to have a book on the President's Birth Certificate out by way of WND. This has yet to be directly confirmed, but it would explain a few things.

Unfortunately needing no explanation, given Arizona's recent decline in outsider relations, it appears the "birther bill" (HB2177) has received preliminary approval. Thankfully, Tennessee's has bit the dust.

That's this week in Birtherstan. And remember, Camus once said that "Stupidity has a knack of getting its way," but that doesn't mean we have to like it.

Do not mess with the person who knows where the loot is buried.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Tuesday Night Music 4 5 11

i don't believe you're listening...

Good old Terry Jones -- accused spiritual abuser, possible cult leader, and definite homophobe. After the brouhaha he stirred up last year, threatening to burn a Quran on 9/11, then reconsidering, then not, then again, we kind of hoped he'd just crawl under a rock and stay there.

No such luck.

After claiming he never would even consider burning a Quran again, Jones up and did it, anyway, after a show trial in which the holy book was found guilty. Some Muslims in Afghanistan didn't take too kindly to that, and, as he was warned might happen, people died because of it.

I guess when we need a situation worsened, or a problem created, we now have our go-to man.

Now it's obvious that Jones didn't hold a gun to anyone's head and make them storm that UN building. As such, we can't directly blame him for what happened, any more than we can blame someone for causing a stampede when they yell "free candy!" outside a Weight Watcher's meeting.

After all, if someone yells "Movie" in a crowded fire, is anyone really to blame for what results?

But then it's also obvious that no one held a gun to Jones head and made him light that holy book, either. So he can't directly blame Islam for making him engineer an event to prove how violent the faith is by doing something that is considered so abhorrent to most faithful Muslims that someone, somewhere, was doubtlessly going to get violent when he did it, thus making Jones burn a Quran just to prove his point.

You see what I mean, right?

If not, then don't feel bad. Most op-ed people who are saying that maybe Jones shouldn't have done this, but it proves he was right, don't get it either.

If you don't see why not, stand outside a church this Sunday and light up a Bible as the service is letting out. See how much forgiveness and love you get handed.

Also, wear fur to a PETA meeting.

The good news is that, now that Jones has done this thing, and certain things have resulted, he really has nowhere to go but, well, nowhere. You can only pull an outrage once or twice before the people you're trying to incite to riot realize they're being played, and stop taking the bait.

(We hope)

But then we are also told that the next trial Jones plans to hold is the Prophet Mohammed, himself. Hopefully the Prophet will show up to take the stand, himself, as I'm certain this will forestall the next logical trial -- Allah, himself.

And you know that's just not going to end well at all.

But it's Tuesday night, and that means music. For Terry Jones and those like him, we have a tune from my favorite EBM pioneers, Front 242. This is Welcome to Paradise. Jesus is here.

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Birther Week in Review: 4 2 11

The Taitzinator

In which Orly Taitz returns to court, Trump continues down the Birther road, Tim Adams falls flat on his face, and Bachmann surprises everyone

Just when you'd thought we'd heard everything there was to hear from Birther Queen Orly Taitz -- other than losing yet again, and handing her crown over to Donald Trump -- we discover that she's gearing up for another tilt at the windmill known as Barnett vs. Obama.

As Doc Conspiracy puts it:

Readers may recall that this is the lawsuit where Orly Taitz and Gary Kreep were co-counsels for a collection of plaintiffs [I just can't get that phrase, "rag tag fugitive fleet" out of my head] including failed presidential candidate Alan Keyes, active-duty military officer Pamela Barnett and a collection of others. The suit began with Alan Keyes claiming that some Bush-era executive order required investigating something or another totally inapplicable to Obama. This is also the case where Orly Taitz couldn’t quite get the defendants served with the complaint. Then, the lawsuit completely changed directions in the First Amended Complaint transmogrifying it into a quo warranto action, brimming with Social Security numbers and fake Kenyan birth certificates.

Is it any wonder Judge Carter tossed the case?

But now it's back on appeal, apparently. Oral arguments are scheduled for May 2nd, provided they aren't scuttled and the case decided solely on the briefs. Given Judge Carter's long and meticulous finding that the issue could not be decided by his court, I doubt it'll do well at all.

Speaking of not doing well at all, we have Donald Trump, who has provided no less than three birth notices to prove that, yes, he was born in America. He has also continued to harp on the Birther question, in spite of the opprobrium that it's generating towards him, on FOX News with Greta V, who mostly let him prattle, and then Bill O'Reilly, who called him on his nonsense (while seeming to agree with him that we have a "mooslum" problem).

Thankfully, Lawrence O’Donnell called him on even more of his nonsense, of which there was a hell of a lot. It's gotten to the point where even Glenn Beck, who's trounced on Birtherism before, has made public his concerns about the Trumpster -- he's apparently making him "uncomfortable."

Now THAT'S an achievement!

We also have a surprise return of the notorious Tim Adams, courtesy of Fact Check Radio. If you have two hours to spend listening to Mr. Adams go back and forth on what he said with people who actually know what they're talking about -- including our friend Doc Conspiracy -- it's quite a treat. The real smackdown begins about a quarter of the way through.

And finally, some shocking news from Michele Bachmann. In spite of making a big deal about showing her own Birth Certificate while considering a run for the Presidency, and hooking up with Iowa's #1 State Senate Birther, she seems to now be of the opinion that the issue of Obama's birth is simply not important.

(Question: Do you believe there is any possibility that President Obama was not born in the United States?)

Bachmann: You know, that is probably the least important issue in the United States right now. The most important issue is dealing with the economy and with job creation... I believe in accomplishing things and getting something done, and that's the least of my interests."

Hear that? That was a silent sound of a million Birthers going What you say?

Whether that was a feint to sound less crazy or a genuine admission of uncaring has yet to be determined. I'm willing to bed even money that our favorite journalist, Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, will no doubt have something to say about this lapse of faith next week.

See you then! And remember, according to the Washington Post, the Dopeler effect is the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Maybe that's why Birthers talk so fast?