Obot Chronicles 8/21/11 - Operation Orlybake
Welcome to the first report of the new OBOT Chronicles, where we inform you as to the major movements of the small majority. Those who insist on spreading misinformation, telling lies, or naively passing along the tainted goods will be exposed and mocked. Those who have been victimized by those lies (Birthers) will hopefully be dissuaded from believing in them anymore.
Mighty robots for simple truth, mighty vehicles for that simple truth. We are the gOBOTS.
There is one big item of news, right now: Orly Taitz's Surfing Safari.
Orly's big dumb adventure is something of a side trip in the longer, stranger one that is Taitz v Astrue. Simply put, she's grousing that one Michael Astrue, Commissioner of the Social Security Administration, is refusing to release the President's Social Security paperwork, so Orly can use her legion of flying monkeys to check it over for fraud.
(Never mind that, if the President was engaged in SS fraud, it probably would have been flagged a lonnnnnnnnnng time ago. Unless it's all part of the CoNsPiRaCy!!!)
At some point in the legal back-and-forth between plaintiff, defendant, and court, Orly became convinced that she now had subpoena powers (she didn't). So she promptly wrote one up to seize upon any records that the Hawaii Health Bureau might have on one Barack Hussein Obama II. Thus empowered, she and two of her happy tree friends (Paul "Busted Typewriter" Irey and Doug "Scannerboy" Vogt) went off to the Aloha State to say, well, Aloha.
Unfortunately for them, Aloha also means "goodbye," which is exactly what the Health Bureau said. Apparently they are not taken to taking orders from pieces of paper that lack the full power of law. Who would have thunk?
But, much like Odysseus (himself the victim of a long and strange trip), Orly is never without a cunning backup plan. Said plan involves a motion in federal court to force the Health Bureau to attend a hearing and show cause. This, of course, led Jerome "Dr Feelgood" Corsi to announce that the Court was going to force them, though the Court obviously hasn't decided yet. And the response from Birtherstan has essentially been to mark September 14th down on their calendars as THE DAY THE USURPER LEAVES THE WHITE HOUSE.
Will it? Highly doubtful, as all that's likely to happen in that hearing is for the Judge to look at the subpoena, see that it's written in crayon, and dismiss everything with a vengeance.
But we now have about three weeks to prepare for Orly's return to the Aloha State. Homework non-assignments are as follows:
* It would appear that Orly committed the mother of all Freudian slips while filing, lately. She has admitted in her filing against the Hawaii Department of Health that she is seeking Obama's original long form birth certificate, rather than a purported one.
Doc Conspiracy notes: I think that this is a plain admission on Taitz’s part that the White House document is authentic, original and legitimate because the whole context of her argument is that Obama waived his right to privacy when he published this document. She can’t have it both ways – either Obama released his original form and Taitz already has what she’s asking the State for, or he has not in which UIPA protects the original.
It would be a bad thing if this seeming contradiction was pointed out to her. Perhaps the next time she gets on television or the radio someone might be tempted to call in and ask, but this is obviously an impolite thing to do. At the very least, if you do ignore my calls for restraint, be good enough to let her feeeeenish.
* Orly still draws a crowd. It is really unreasonable to ask my fellow gOBOTS to fly to Hawaii on September 14th to make some fun signs, pass out informational fliers, and laugh at the goings-on inside the courthouse, or even see if they can get in to observe the proceedings. It would be even more unreasonable to encourage those gOBOTS already in state to get that Wednesday off or something and have some fun. Especially if she brought her two flying monkeys along with her, as their unique grip on empirical reality could do with a challenge or two. But that would be rude to these two gentlemen and I cannot encourage it. No.
* An even better misuse of our time would be to ask why Orly is being allowed to brandish ersatz legal documents. An inability to comprehend the law or file proper briefs is one thing. Wandering the US of A with a subpoena that was not approved by the Judge is another. But that might wind up with her facing large fines, or possibly even going to jail for fraud. And no one wants that, so maybe we really just should sit on it?
* Orly just loves it when you make macros of her. Obviously, then, it would be a bad thing if more should be made and passed around. Especially if these macros made fun of her unique vocal delivery style, 80's hair, or glam metal facial expressions. No one wants that.
* 2012 is just around the corner, and this issue is still not dead. It is obviously a dirty trick to try and peg this non-issue on the rank and file of Republicans, as, in spite of World Net Daily's insistence that various polls reveal a lot of Birthers in the GOP's ranks, the reality is probably less clear-cut. However, it would be somewhat less dirty to make sure that a Republican friend or family member (you know you have them, admit it) is aware that this theory is even more kooky than, say, global warming, or Jesus riding a dinosaur to work. One on one conversations with a friend carry more weight than screaming at idiots on World Net Daily.
* Speaking of which, World Net Daily has recently made it so that just about every article they have can be commented on via a facebook account. Obviously, the comments are vastly biased in favor of WND's unique, information-challenged viewpoint, but some gOBOTS are still there. We really should resist the temptation to go in there, en masse, and bring up factual points, debunk, and question the logic of their articles. This would, after all be trolling, even if we were being extremely polite. (Ask Richard Poe about that one, if you can find him)
That's all for Obot Chronicles this week! Let us know how the things we told you not to do work out for you! Best example of inaction gets a noprize!
(The preceding was a work of satire, and should not be taken seriously)