Thursday, September 02, 2010

LTC Lakin's Defense Ripped Apart in Steel Cage Death Match

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Yet again, it is our sad - but schadenfreude-laden - duty to report that LTC. Terry Lakin's anticipated defense has, put mildly, gone down in legal flames.

A more apt comparison has a spastic 90 pound weakling going up against a testosterone-junky half-man, half-bear on steroids, speed, and lizard boom sticks that eats live, angry bees for breakfast and totally ignores the honey, in a no-holds barred ancient astronaut Texas steel cage death match. With noodles.

(No, I don't watch wrestling. why?)

According to Phil Cave, who attended the hearing today:

Basically what we have been saying has come to pass.


The military judge DENIED all of the discovery requests and witness requests related to the birth controversy. This was not unexpected. But what was unexpected was the breadth and detail of the rulings, because of the obvious impact on the lawfulness motion. ... At the end of the military judge’s reading of her findings, Jensen appeared beaten down. He seemed so affected that for some time he failed to stand when talking with the military judge on the record. LTC Lakin remained impassive as always.


The military judge twice said that a court-martial is not “a vehicle to challenge political decisions.”

(Humble blogger stands up and applauds until his hands fall off. Then grabs folding chair.)

The defense conceded that with the military judge’s rulings, the orders were otherwise lawful.

(Humble blogger goes "YES!" and does victory dance. Crowd goes wild.)

With that this case is back to the standard case one sees where a Soldier has missed movement and disobeyed orders. There was discussion of whether an additional session was necessary based on the lack of “wiggle room” given to the defense as it affected the discovery, witnesses, and lawfulness issues.

Mr. Cave apparently left before they could iron out whether Alan Keyes would be allowed to come speak on LTC Lakin's behalf. Part of me hopes that they let him attend, if only to find out how deep of a hole he digs for poor Terry's defense. Every squared circle needs a rodeo clown.

(Speaking OF the defense, there is an excellent article here that wonders exactly what Paul Rolf "Otis" Jensen has been telling Lakin. I vote for "guano crazy," myself.)

In closing, from Cave:

At this point it seems LTC Lakin will be left to wriggle while his fate is decided in the normal course of business. No doubt there will be some who will try to continue the political aspects of the case but for all intents and purposes LTC Lakin is dead meat. The real question will be sentencing.

Here's hoping they cut him some kind of deal that allows him to barter his freedom in exchange for detailed information on how a certain organization recruited him for this windmill-tilt, and what exactly they are up to. I doubt LTC Lakin is the only partridge in their cage, and it would be good to know if other Military Birther Martyrs are being lined up for the cause.

But, as was often said on professional wrestling shows, "This is a fiasco!" And LTC Lakin only has himself to blame, along with however many other goobers in Birtherland that have been fronting for this horrifying spectacle from the get-go. If they had any sense of decency, they would start calling him to tell him to just take a damn deal.

I doubt he'll get any calls, though. He will soon be another nameless nobody left smeared outside the ring so some masked weirdo can pretend to be an athlete. And that is the real tragedy, here.


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