Birthermail - 5/30/10

J.,

I read your article on OpenEdNews, and you really have no clue about the Obama Birth Certificate issue. You are either ignorant, in denial, or maybe both, I'm not sure. But you really should get the facts before you just start calling everyone a liar. Just for starters, it appears you do not even understand the difference between and Certificate of Live Birth, and a Certification of Live Birth. You should probably start there to get a better understanding of the issue.

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Dear Mr. (Name Goes Here)


Thank you very much for your submission to our magazine, entitled "I AM A BIRTHER-BOT." However, we feel it is simply not something that fits our criteria. You may want to look at our submission guidelines once again, and then either change the manuscript and resubmit it, or else submit something else.

You see, what we're really looking for here is _originality_. The same old tired arguments that really go nowhere and have been either refuted time and again, or else really don't matter worth the farting of an ant (if you'll excuse the phrase) aren't worth enshrining in our pages. They make great dartboards, but we're usually too busy to play in the workplace. And that just leaves "birdcage liner," which is useful, but not worth giving a byline to.

Also - and this is a personal note - It's not a good idea to threaten to shave an editor's parakeet for Thor if they don't accept your manuscript. Not only is it not really possible to shave a parakeet in the first place, but I have it on good authority that Thor really doesn't appreciate that sort of thing. In fact I think he hates it with the power of a thousand burning suns, or some such. He's not very coherent when he's drunk and playing darts.

Good luck in your future endeavors!

yours

J.