Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Victoria Jackson on Obama = funny fail

You know, I remember when Victoria Jackson was on Saturday Night Live. She wasn't all that funny on her own, but she had decent timing and could at least be part of a gag. Remember how good she was in the Toonces spots?

Well, who would have thought she would have lost her sense of humor and turned into another fire-breathing nutbag conservative who thinks Obama is in league with the Devil? Or, worse, that she wouldn't have realized that she's not funny anymore and tried desperately to make us chuckle while she went on a tear?

No, it's no joke.

I’d been wondering why the liberals are so passionate about this Health Care thing. It couldn’t be because they actually care about sick, poor people. If they did, they would visit hospitals, and give ten percent of their gross salaries to Compassion International and World Vision, like us stupid church go-ers do. Biden gave $ 62 to charity last year.

No, there’s gotta be a catch. I guess this question was sitting in my brain and during my sleep, my brain was working on it, because when I suddenly awoke at 3 a.m. I had the answer.


Social Security and Medicare are broke. Baby boomers, like me, are getting old and will soon be asking for it. Socialized medicine makes people die. You stand in a long, long line with a breast lump, clogged artery, or sharp pencil stuck in your eye, and someone like the DMV person, who can’t speak English, has chewing gum, an attitiude, really long fake nails that curl up at the end, and is talking on a cell phone, enjoying their power trip moment, is finally face to face with you. They mumble something incoherent about paperwork. You die. One less person in line for Social Security and Medicare!

Obama legally kills babies and now he can legally kill Grandmas!

And it gets... worse. Really.

Vickie, honey, give it up. If you think this is socialism you are deluded. And if you're trying to be funny, then, much like Toonces driving a car, you're not doing it very well.


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