rANT Farm

Obot Chronicles 8/21/11 - Operation Orlybake

2011-08-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the first report of the new OBOT Chronicles, where we inform you as to the major movements of the small majority. Those who insist on spreading misinformation, telling lies, or naively passing along the tainted goods will be exposed and mocked. Those who have been victimized by those lies (Birthers) will hopefully be dissuaded from believing in them anymore.

Mighty robots for simple truth, mighty vehicles for that simple truth. We are the gOBOTS.

There is one big item of news, right now: Orly Taitz's Surfing Safari.

Orly's big dumb adventure is something of a side trip in the longer, stranger one that is Taitz v Astrue. Simply put, she's grousing that one Michael Astrue, Commissioner of the Social Security Administration, is refusing to release the President's Social Security paperwork, so Orly can use her legion of flying monkeys to check it over for fraud.

(Never mind that, if the President was engaged in SS fraud, it probably would have been flagged a lonnnnnnnnnng time ago. Unless it's all part of the CoNsPiRaCy!!!)

At some point in the legal back-and-forth between plaintiff, defendant, and court, Orly became convinced that she now had subpoena powers (she didn't). So she promptly wrote one up to seize upon any records that the Hawaii Health Bureau might have on one Barack Hussein Obama II. Thus empowered, she and two of her happy tree friends (Paul "Busted Typewriter" Irey and Doug "Scannerboy" Vogt) went off to the Aloha State to say, well, Aloha.

Unfortunately for them, Aloha also means "goodbye," which is exactly what the Health Bureau said. Apparently they are not taken to taking orders from pieces of paper that lack the full power of law. Who would have thunk?

But, much like Odysseus (himself the victim of a long and strange trip), Orly is never without a cunning backup plan. Said plan involves a motion in federal court to force the Health Bureau to attend a hearing and show cause. This, of course, led Jerome "Dr Feelgood" Corsi to announce that the Court was going to force them, though the Court obviously hasn't decided yet. And the response from Birtherstan has essentially been to mark September 14th down on their calendars as THE DAY THE USURPER LEAVES THE WHITE HOUSE.

Will it? Highly doubtful, as all that's likely to happen in that hearing is for the Judge to look at the subpoena, see that it's written in crayon, and dismiss everything with a vengeance.

But we now have about three weeks to prepare for Orly's return to the Aloha State. Homework non-assignments are as follows:

Specific:

* It would appear that Orly committed the mother of all Freudian slips while filing, lately. She has admitted in her filing against the Hawaii Department of Health that she is seeking Obama's original long form birth certificate, rather than a purported one.

Doc Conspiracy notes: I think that this is a plain admission on Taitz’s part that the White House document is authentic, original and legitimate because the whole context of her argument is that Obama waived his right to privacy when he published this document. She can’t have it both ways – either Obama released his original form and Taitz already has what she’s asking the State for, or he has not in which UIPA protects the original.

It would be a bad thing if this seeming contradiction was pointed out to her. Perhaps the next time she gets on television or the radio someone might be tempted to call in and ask, but this is obviously an impolite thing to do. At the very least, if you do ignore my calls for restraint, be good enough to let her feeeeenish.

* Orly still draws a crowd. It is really unreasonable to ask my fellow gOBOTS to fly to Hawaii on September 14th to make some fun signs, pass out informational fliers, and laugh at the goings-on inside the courthouse, or even see if they can get in to observe the proceedings. It would be even more unreasonable to encourage those gOBOTS already in state to get that Wednesday off or something and have some fun. Especially if she brought her two flying monkeys along with her, as their unique grip on empirical reality could do with a challenge or two. But that would be rude to these two gentlemen and I cannot encourage it. No.

* An even better misuse of our time would be to ask why Orly is being allowed to brandish ersatz legal documents. An inability to comprehend the law or file proper briefs is one thing. Wandering the US of A with a subpoena that was not approved by the Judge is another. But that might wind up with her facing large fines, or possibly even going to jail for fraud. And no one wants that, so maybe we really just should sit on it?

Ongoing:

* Orly just loves it when you make macros of her. Obviously, then, it would be a bad thing if more should be made and passed around. Especially if these macros made fun of her unique vocal delivery style, 80's hair, or glam metal facial expressions. No one wants that.

* 2012 is just around the corner, and this issue is still not dead. It is obviously a dirty trick to try and peg this non-issue on the rank and file of Republicans, as, in spite of World Net Daily's insistence that various polls reveal a lot of Birthers in the GOP's ranks, the reality is probably less clear-cut. However, it would be somewhat less dirty to make sure that a Republican friend or family member (you know you have them, admit it) is aware that this theory is even more kooky than, say, global warming, or Jesus riding a dinosaur to work. One on one conversations with a friend carry more weight than screaming at idiots on World Net Daily.

* Speaking of which, World Net Daily has recently made it so that just about every article they have can be commented on via a facebook account. Obviously, the comments are vastly biased in favor of WND's unique, information-challenged viewpoint, but some gOBOTS are still there. We really should resist the temptation to go in there, en masse, and bring up factual points, debunk, and question the logic of their articles. This would, after all be trolling, even if we were being extremely polite. (Ask Richard Poe about that one, if you can find him)

That's all for Obot Chronicles this week! Let us know how the things we told you not to do work out for you! Best example of inaction gets a noprize!

(The preceding was a work of satire, and should not be taken seriously)

Obot Chronicles 8/14/11 - Here It Comes

2011-08-14T10:35:00.000-07:00

IMPORTANT BULLETIN. The Birther Week in Review is officially no more. If you want an excellent, regular encapsulation of the movements of brave, young Birtherstan, and one that puts my admittedly pedestrian efforts to shame, please redirect your browsers to Badfiction There, our good friend and ally deftly records his many exciting and dangerous trips into the toxic cesspool that is Birtherstani popular culture, and reports on his findings so you don't have to go there, yourself.

As fun as writing BWIR was, the duplication of effort was not helping the cause. I bow my head and heart to the man for his efforts on our behalf, but now it's time for something different.

That something is this: the cat is now officially out of the bag.

Notorious Birther Jerome "Doctor Feelgood" Corsi has proven the old adage about the broken clock being right at least once a day. A little while after I published my last BWiR, he let it be known that 100 Obots are lurking amongst the American populace.

NEW YORK – A top Democrat, apparently operating with the full approval and cooperation of the president, has been directing a team of up to 100 who are paid to publish disinformation on a wide variety of websites to discredit "birthers," according to anti-Obama researchers.

The radical supporters of the president, known as Obama robots, or "OBOTs" for short, have confirmed their White House-appointed ring leader is Democratic Party operative James A. Johnson, the former chairman of Fannie Mae.

Initially, the OBOTs attempted to mask their Internet identities by posting under usernames with avatars that suggest their personalities. But due largely to the efforts of anti-Obama researchers, including "birthers" vilified by the OBOTs, the true identities of key OBOT operatives have been revealed.

"Oooooooo!" you probably said upon reading all that, maybe followed with "booga booga!" But the truth is that this is at least partially correct.

There are about 100 "Obots" out there in c-space, working both together and separately to try and dispel this nonsense about the President's Birthplace and Eligibility.

What he got wroGN was that (1) we're actually paid for this, (2) the President knows about what we're doing, and (3) who's actually in charge of the show.

Yes, I said "we." I am one of the Obots. They got me a long time ago.

And I get to be the one to explain this to you, because this is how we roll.

Do not think of us as "obama robots." Think of us, rather, as being one letter away from the Gobots. Remember those plucky, also-ran transforming robot toys from the 80's who had the misfortune of being marketed at the same time as the Transformers, who had the cooler cartoon and the (admittedly) better product, but lacked the simplicity of their "lesser" cousins?

That's us. Mighty robots for simple truth, mighty vehicles for that simple truth. gOBOTS.

The truth is this: the President of the United States is eligible to be President. The State of Hawaii has effectively said this by lending their weight behind the Certificate of Live Birth and the Long Form. The American court system has not ruled otherwise, and is not likely to, given the weight of past decisions. All other arguments are either foolhardy, ill-considered, or wrapped up with ignorance, racism, islamophobia, or chauvinism that has no place in 21st century America.

The truth is this: the majority of so-called Birthers (or eligibility skeptics) are victims. They have been victimized by their own fears and/or ignorance, and kept victimized by the mistakes, misinformation, distortions, and outright lies of the few. They could, if brought around to full recognition of the truth, be victims no more.

The truth is this: a small minority of these Birthers is keeping this issue alive by continuing to broadcast a non-stop regimen of mistaken information, willful or ignorant misinformation and distortions, and, yes, outright lies. Some of them have chosen to champion this cause because they honestly believe in it, and some of them have chosen to champion it because they recognize that there's fame, fortune, readership, and political prestige to be gained if enough people go Birther because of them.

The truth is this: to invoke Grant Morrison, this is not a war -- this is a rescue mission.

The vast majority of Birthers are suffering from having been bamboozled by the aforementioned small, often cynical minority, which is actively misleading them for their own reasons. If we can get the truth to the victims, however we can, then they may no longer be victims, and become fully cognizant members of the body politic once more.

In other words, they can go back to opposing Obama because they don't like his policies, or don't like him, rather than hating on him because they're convinced he's not eligible. With this nonsense stripped away, they can no longer be dismissed as cranks or fools, and can come back and be a fully-functioning part of America's political culture once again.

This can only be a good thing for America as a whole.

So you're probably asking why we servants of the truth didn't come out and tell you that truth, earlier. Sometimes truth must be masked. Sometimes you have to tell a story or a joke to get to a point. Sometimes you can't tell the whole truth at once or you'll be laughed at.

Sometimes you have to contradict yourself to get to where you're going.

So accept our apologizes for not stepping out from behind the curtain sooner, but make no mistake -- we are here now. We have come to mock and to gaslight, to enrage and to entertain. We have come to plant the flag of truth in the bullshit birthday cake.

We have come to tell you the truth, and it will set you free.

We are 100 now. By the end of the year there will be 1000. After that, who knows?

If you want to join, you just did. Go and do.

Just remember that this is a rescue mission, not a war. We must comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. We must help and not harm.

We don't always have to be nice about it, of course, but at the end of the day kindness and patience is remembered and treasured more than snark and meanness. Especially when the blinders are off, the mission is over, and the lies and liars have been exposed.

Leave the snark and mockery for the small majority, who clearly deserve it.

Henceforth, the Obot Chronicles will inform you as to the major movements of the small majority. There will be information, laughs, and homework assignments. There will be calls for direct inaction. There will be noprizes. There will be phun.

(There may or may not be punch and pie.)

There will be the satisfaction of knowing we did the right thing for the right reasons, at last.

My name is J. Edward Tremlett. You can call me Dive-Dive. I am an gOBOT. Who are you?

Birther Week in Review 7/2/11 - WND vs Esquire Edition

2011-07-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

In which our friends at World Net Daily lay their case for suing Esquire on the table, and we take a look at some of the players.
(h/t conwebwatch for the original photo)

Tis truly the age of the lawsuit at Whirled Nut Daily, er, excuse me, World Net Daily. First, we're told Jerome "Dr. Feelgood" Corsi is going to bring charges against Obama, via the FBI, for criminal fraud. (Then we find out someone else is going to do it for him.) Then WND, itself, is threatened with a lawsuit for dragging an anti-birther blogger's private life into the limelight and lying about him.

Now, a few weeks after actually announcing that it was on, WND held a press conference in which their lawsuit against Esquire over their satirical article was laid out for all three members of the press that bothered to attend.

WASHINGTON – WND is filing a lawsuit in the nation's capital today seeking tens of millions of dollars in damages for a faked "report" in Esquire magazine that falsely said a New York Times best-selling book, "Where's the Birth Certificate? The Case That Barack Obama Is Not Eligible To Be President," by Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., had been pulled from store shelves by the publisher.

The claim has been filed by attorney Larry Klayman for Joseph Farah, editor and chief executive officer of WND, on behalf of the company, WND Books, himself and author Corsi.

Defendants named include Esquire Magazine Inc., parent company the Hearst Corp., and Mark Warren, the author of the false article.

"You can't just make up words and put them in people's mouths, deliberately misleading the public, deliberately defaming others and deliberately lying to inhibit commerce,"* Farah said. "Media institutions such as Esquire magazine and its parent, the Hearst Corporation, for which I was employed for nearly a decade, should know better. And they will as a result of this lawsuit."

To the tune of $285 million dollars, apparently. I hope they know you can sue people for SLAPP lawsuits in Washington D.C., where the suit is being filed?

You can watch the entire press conference at WND, starting with this page, if you'd care to. It may be an hour of your life you won't get back, but it's worth it if only for the slow realization that the speakers outnumbered the press, and the testy exchange between Joseph "Mr Mustache" Farah and Terry of Conwebwatch at the very end.

Finally, I tried to ask Farah if he could confirm Tim Adams' assertion that the affidavit he signed claiming that he had been told that no copy of Obama's birth certificate existed in state files was created by WND-affiliated lawyers. Here's how that exchange went:

FARAH: I really don't -- Terry, If you want to obsess about stuff like that, I invite you to do so. I would really like to focus on why the president of the United States and the White House are issuing bogus birth certificates rather than why somebody at WorldNetDaily, which lawyer they consulted to --

ME: But if you're creating news to forward the story --

FARAH: Terry, we all know your work.

ME: You're creating news and not reporting it.

FARAH: We appreciate all of the attention that you devote to WND.com. Thanks very much.

And with that the press conference came to an abrupt end.

Whether this is a legitimate beef on behalf of WND, or just another attempt to elicit sympathy (read: money) from its readership, and publicity for its latest minimum opus, Where's the Birth Certifiate? (still sinking like a brick) is debatable.

What isn't debatable, however, is that this legal sideshow was rather revealing.

We know all about Doctor Feelgood, and the fact that he's a frakking bigot who thinks facts are for lesser people.

We know all about Mr. Mustache, too. But what's interesting is that he's no longer hiding behind journalistic dodges to disguise his actual views on an issue. As of right now, he is happy to declare the President's Birth Certificate a F R A U D.

The lawyer is of interest. That is The Larry Klayman up there at the podium. The same Larry Klayman who founded Judicial Watch, which went after the Clinton Administration 18 times over matters large and small (and, yes, Dick Cheney. Once.)

Also the same guy who left Judicial Watch to run for the Senate, lost, and then sued Judicial Watch for "financial and other mismanagement issues which damaged Judicial Watch, the donors and Klayman." He then founded Freedomwatch, which is, at this moment, suing the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque" for $350 million, claiming "the controversial project pose(s) a "terror risk" and amount(s) to "an assault" on Americans."

Yeah.

(He also writes a weekly column for World Net Daily, and Freedomwatch has an ad for the site on its front page. Are you surprised? Really?)

So they've got their own in-house legal eagle to make this lawsuit appear to be something other than a gigantic publicity stunt. (maybe) But who's the sleepy dame with the bad haircut?

That would be Maria Zebest, the latest rent-an-expert WND has rolled out to show that they aren't just noselessly barking up the wrong tree. A Democrat, no less, as Farah took pains to tell us.

A nationally recognized computer expert who has served as contributing author and technical editor for more than 100 books on Adobe and Microsoft software says the Obama long-form birth-certificate image released by the White House is a fraudulent document created with Adobe software.

"The PDF file released by the White House contains evidence of manipulation suggesting that one or more forgers utilized existing Hawaiian birth certificates to assemble fraudulently for Barack Obama a document the president presented to the world as authentic," Mara Zebest told WND.

...

She believes whoever created the forgery had insufficient expertise and did not realize that "flattening" the document in Photoshop Illustrator – a process that melds the layers – would still allow professionals to determine the layers required to manipulate the data in the process of forging the document.

"Overall, it's an amateur job," Zebest said. "The forgers obviously over-estimated their level of expertise in undertaking to forge a document that is destined to play a pivotal role in U.S. history."

How could any forger working for the White House be so sloppy?

"As president of the United States, you can't exactly put out a Request for Proposal asking the forger to submit credentials and pricing to the White House chief of staff," she answered. "A small group around you may be loyal, and someone within that group may have computer graphic arts experience, but forging a document that will sustain expert forensic analysis is a skill-set not required of most commercial designers and artists who use Adobe software on an everyday basis."

Because, you know, when it comes to committing high crimes and misdemeanors, the White House always scrounges around for the lowest bidder. ;) Nice try, there, sleepy.

Doc Conspiracy was, as always, kind enough to shoot this "expert analysis" out of the duck pond with a well-placed observation. But the gold medal for investigative reporting on this fresh, new face has to go to our friends at Badfiction, who have discovered that Ms. Zebest is not only a Democrat, but apparently a PUMA.

Remember them? The ones who were, and still are, so very unhappy about Hilary Clinton not being President that they're very happy to roll around in their kitty litter and believe any old lie about the President they can get their hands on. Like, oh, say... the Birth Certificate non-issue?

I posted this downstairs and want to get it off my chest upstairs too. I have to comment since I feel a need to set the record straight. I’m getting a little tired of Obama being defined as a “progressive” or even as a “liberal.” He is not a progressive (for whatever the h*ll that is supposed to imply)… nor is he a conservative… nor is he a liberal. Obama is a radical and more specifically a marxist. A Black Liberation Theologist Marxist which is even more radical than a regular marxist (if there is such a thing as a more radical marxist). LOL!"

(Emphasis mine)

HMMMMMMMMMM... A case of birds of a feather flocking together?

Does WND have a case? Generally speaking, no. The original article was always tagged as "Humor," and if certain people didn't read all the way through to the bottom to see that, or couldn't judge from the subtext of the article (Farah calling Corsi a piece of "S---"? Really?)

There was, however, one rather ominous note during the proceedings. When asked about Doc Conspiracy's findings, Corsi commented:

'I'll be writing about Dr. Conspiracy in the next few days. I'll be exposing his background, his entire credentials, his involvement with his company. I've got a detailed -- I just haven't had time to write it up."

That should be a rather interesting read. Goodness only knows what horrors lurk in the past of the Doc. Maybe he's worn a different hat!

That's about all the news we have this time. Birther Week in Review will be on break for the next two weeks. Try not to melt down without me, but if you want excellent reporting on the movements of the brave country of Birtherstan, I highly recommend Badfiction, Conwebwatch, and Obama Conspiracy Theories (Oh For Goodness Sake is also on vacation)

* Just out of curiosity, did anyone's irony meter explode, reading that? I know mine did. Scared my poor kitties out of their skin, too.

Birther Week in Review 6/25/11

2011-06-26T20:06:00.000-07:00

It was supposed to be a big week for Birtherstan. What actually happened? Starring Joseph Farah, Jerome Corsi, Orly Taitz, and the Koran pee-pee Birther

As reported by our friends at Badfiction, last week Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, editor in chief of World Net Daily, had this startling announcement on his twitter feed:

If you think the birth certificate controversy is over, think again. Next week will be a big week for "birthers."

So what all happened?

On the World Net Daily front, Farah made a prognostic proclamation worthy of the late Criswell: Obama will not be running for a second term!

I know this sounds crazy.

I know it goes completely against the grain of mainstream political opinion.

I know you probably haven't heard this anywhere else before.

But I don't think Barack Obama will be on the Democratic ballot as a candidate for re-election to the presidency.

His reasoning? A handful of wistful comments made by the President on the Today show about how tough the job can be. In Farah land, the admission that "There are days where I say that one term is enough," and revealing words about his family loving him more than his job, are codespeak for "this brother's leaving the building toot sweet." But this is all conveniently forgetting that Obama is, as we speak, gearing up for re-election -- something he can't really get out of now that his machine's in motion.

Nice try, Farah. He tried to top this a few days later by announcing, in one of his signature op-eds, that Hitler wasn't eligible, either. Which is just fine because, as our friends at Badfiction rightly point out:

Hitler was never elected president of Germany. He campaigned for the position and lost to President Paul von Hindenburg. von Hindenburg appointed Hilter Chancellor on 30 Jan. 1933. When von Hindenburg died on 2 August 1934, Hilter failed to call new elections, (a violation of that country's Constitution), and instead declared himself Führer und Reichskanzler (leader and chancellor) based on a law passed on 1 August 1934.

Hitler was never elected leader of Germany, he was appointed Chancellor and took over the position of head of state from that appointed post.

Farah's understanding and knowledge of History - FAIL.

Then a few days later, it was revealed that a "Stunning precedent would let al-Qaida chief be president."

Anwar al-Awlaki for president?

After all, the regional commander for al-Qaida, senior Islamic imam and alleged recruiter for terrorists was born on April 22, 1971, in Las Cruces, N.M.

And how about the al-Awlaki acolyte, imprisoned Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, as vice president on that ticket, as the defendant accused of shooting up fellow soldiers at Fort Hood was born Sept. 8, 1970, in Arlington Va.

"Stunning?" Not if you, unlike the people at WND, know how the Constitution actually works,, and how it is being interpreted by mainstream legal thought. As it stands, this article is doubly loathsome for both adding to the national dumb, and using the "scary brown man" and "scary muslim" tropes to buttress their weak tea argument against President Obama.

Further weak tea was brought to us by Jerome "Dr. Feelgood" Corsi, who revealed that FOX News did a bad thing, but missed the important piece of the story.

NEW YORK – The computer graphics expert Fox News relied upon to claim the birth certificate the White House released April 27 was legitimate insists that the network must retract the story, claiming it deliberately misquoted him and continues to ignore his repeated requests.

Jean Claude Tremblay told WND that none of his comments would permit the conclusion that the Obama birth certificate is an authentic document.

Smoking gun as to FOX News' complicity in "Certifigate"? Not hardly. As Doc Conspiracy explains:

WND goes to some length to emphasize Mr Tremblay’s displeasure over Fox News misquoting them. However, WND damns its own crank theories by quoting what Tremblay told them:

“First, I never thought that what I saw in the Birth Certificate PDF was a proof of its authenticity,” he wrote. “For me, what I have seen does not prove that it is legit, nor that it is a fake, nor that there has been any tampering whatsoever,” he wrote. “The title of the blog does not represent my conclusion. It would be unprofessional and simplistic within my area of competence to come to a conclusion one way or the other.”

Tremblay found nothing to indicate tampering — putting to the lie all those cranks who say otherwise. I had read the Fox News story correctly all along.

Undaunted by FAIL, Corsi tried again, this time calling out the big gun from Rathergate:

Joseph M. Newcomer, who exposed the "Killian documents" as fraudulent in 2004, has told WND the Obama birth certificate released by the White House April 27 is a "highly suspicious" document that deserves professional forensic examination.

"There is something deeply wrong here," Newcomer told WND. "There are artifacts in the birth certificate document that are strongly suggestive of a forgery. The document screams out that something is wrong."

AHA!

Newcomer stressed that he was relying on published charges that the Obama birth certificate was fraudulent, including the analysis by scanner expert Doug Vogt and by typography expert Paul Irey.

Oh. Never mind, then.

But perhaps Farah, being the non-modest fellow he is, meant to indicate that Orly Taitz was going to be helping the cause in her own, unique way?

This week was quite something for our favorite, mail-in-the-box-tops lawyer. Getting the sense that maybe, just maybe, she didn't get Discovery after all, she's asked for a deafult judgment in her latest windmill tilt. She also asked Attorney General Eric Holder to comply with a FOIA on Presidential records.

Attorney General Holder, I would like to remind you, that you are not Mr. Obama’s private criminal defense attorney, but rather the top law enforcement official in the country. You are acting on behalf of “We, the people of the United States of America”, you are there to protect my rights, and the rights of each and every law abiding citizen of the United states of America against fraud, uttering of forged documents, elections fraud, Social Security fraud, usurpation of US presidency and treason. We, the people of the United States of America, demand that you do your job and stay true to your oath of office and not be complicit in aiding and abetting in commission of the above mentioned crimes.

Please, let me know, when can I and my forensic document expert visit the White House and examine the documents in question for authenticity. If request is not granted within 20 days, further action will be taken. It is my hope, that you will act in the interest of the citizens of the United States of America and will grant access to the above mentioned records.

"Guess who's coming to dinner," anyone?

And then Orly had a very unpleasant run-in with some of her un-fan club:

Today I was harassed and badgered by a brain dead attorney by name (evil regime puppet doo doo head person). She saw me in an elevator in the Superior court and started making comments, that my cases against Obama make me look racist. I told her, that it had nothing to do with his race, it had everything to do with the fact, that he is a complete fraud and that he is using a forged BC and invalid SSN ID. She kept calling me names, she kept calling me crazy, and she was really inciting people in the elevator to say something pro Obama and against me. There were 10 people cramped in the elevator. One guy started yelling at me and telling me, that I need to get the hell out of the country. I thought, that this guy might hit me. I asked this lawyer, (evil regime puppet doo doo head person), if she read the pleadings and saw the expert opinion, showing that the BC is forged, but she said “Oh, the court already told you time and again, that his papers are fine”. If an attorney can be so brain dead or corrupt, what is to say about an average Joe, who is being brainwashed 24/7 by the regime propaganda.

As I left the building and drove to my dental office, I thought, when will this corruption end. What will it take for those Congressmen or judges to do their work? How can they ignore overwhelming, undeniable evidence of forgery and fraud. It’s like living in Nazi Germany or Stalinist Russia. No laws, no Constitution, the regime can do anything to anybody. What are these Congressmen and judges waiting for? For some brainwashed obot to assault me or kill me?

What indeed. And we should hasten to add that it is definitely not cool to be threatening Birthers with any kind of violence or physical harm for their activities. Some of the best advice I ever got was "don't tease a mad dog, you'll just get bit."

Case in point: after revealing that she got (evil regime puppet doo doo head person)'s name wrong in her previous posting, Orly very quickly decided to publicly shame (evil regime puppet doo doo head person) on her blog by posting her public information and facebook profile on it. That'll show (evil regime puppet doo doo head person) not to mess with Orly! (Just don't call (evil regime puppet doo doo head person) at home, okay?)

(In a golden moment of unintentional(?) humor, one of her friends commented "Orly. I will bray for you.")

Or maybe the big event of the week combined two of Farah's big causes: proving Obama ineligible and bashing Islam. With this charming and excitable fellow, we get both, complete with Johnny Cash, an American flag displayed the wrong way around, and a stream of urine.

If you don't feel like watching the whole thing, I'll save you the bother. He douses an English copy of the Koran in lighter fluid, tosses it into a ceramic backyard thing, lights it on fire, throws a copy of Obama's Long form (helpfully marked FORGERY) into the flames, and then pees on it. Stay classy, my friend.

(H/t to Oh For Goodness Sake, who followed up and tells us that Roseann Cash's lawyers have been informed.)

So, after that sorry cavalcade of FAIL, what was the big event of the week that WND was bringing us, then?

Can it be the fact that you can now advertise your lack of reading comprehension, Constitutional savvy, and enlightened attitudes with this catchy, magnetic or "easy off adhesive" BIRTHER ON BOARD Bumper sticker!

Now available in eye-destroying yellow.

(H/T Badfiction)

In closing, I'd like to point your attention to some excellent research from Barackryphal, who has laid bare the archaeology of the Birther Movement -- lovingly laid out for inspection in two parts. If you've enjoyed my humble attempts to chronicle the current history of noble Birtherstan, and its notable citizens, you'll really like the story of its genesis.

Truly a "shot turd round the world." ;)

Birther Week in Review 6/18/11 Corsi vs Fogbow Edition

2011-06-18T17:47:00.000-07:00

In which we look at what may be the moment karma finally kicked in for the World Net Daily posse.

Another slow week in Birtherstan, but one with an interesting development.

It appears that, after years of going after public figures with a certain amount of safety, one of the the country's most prominent citizens made the mistake of going after a regular joe with the same cavalier regard for facts and truth that he employs against the President.

After weeks of regurgitating old info with new twists, new lies with old tricks, and useless "gotcha" hitpieces, World Net Daily decided to go on the warpath against Birtherstan's natural enemies (besides truth, facts, and decency) -- anti-birther bloggers who've been calling the rogue nation out on its lies, exaggerations, and excesses since its tumultuous birth.

The first article, written earlier this week, pointed out that a number of anti-birthers have produced fake birth certificates in an attempt to mock Birthers and make them look foolish. In the eyes of any reasonable person, this constitutes a prank. To Corsi and company, this is criminal fraud.

They have described their activities as satire, a tactic designed to deflect criminal charges that might otherwise be filed against them for producing fraudulent official government documents.

Same old WND, in other words. Exaggerate the reality in order to make snide innuendos that gain the readers' interest while not really telling them the whole truth, if indeed any truth at all.

But then they went a step further. They went after PJ Foggy at Fogbow, following the "journalism" model of their previous works.

Not a good idea, as Foggy, himself, stated on Doc Conspiracy's article on the subject:

The Cal. St. Bar never even suggested it would disbar me. I got in some minor trouble during a time when both my wife’s parents died of Alzheimers’ in my home, and I had some severe depression and some marijuana use. I decided to get out of the law biz and my State Bar record clearly says I “resigned,” not that I was disbarred.

Corsi also falsely accused me of committing state and federal crimes. He posted photos of my young children. He falsely claimed I filed that “legal brief” with a court (it was really just a compilation of reasons why Orly Taitz should be sanctioned in Taitz v. Astrue and I sent it to Patrick Nemeroff, the assistant U.S. Attorney on the case).

Worst of all, on Corsi’s Facebook page he wrote:

“Bryan runs a Flower Shop in Raleigh NC — let him know how much you appreciate his loyalty to the Constitution.”

He gave them enough info to find the phone number and address of my flower shop. Corsi and/or his people are desperately scrubbing threats against me from both the WND page and from Facebook, but I have screenshots of everything. Several innocent women who work for me are terrified. I’ve already contacted the FBI, and I’m on my way to the Raleigh Police Dept. now. I have a first class libel/slander attorney in D.C. working on this.

This is not like that impoverished (in more ways than one) KenyaBornObamAcorn. Corsi has money, and is going to rue this day. Scrubbing my comments isn’t going to help him even a little bit. He stepped in a mess this time. I’m going to own Esquire magazine!

PJ Foggy is, of course, referring to Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah's threats -- now realized -- to sue Esquire over that satirical article they ran online making fun of Where's the Birth Certificate (still falling like a brick, sales-wise, in case you were wondering)

So far Corsi's only overt response has been to backhandedly mention the situation in another article on another anti-Birther blogger. That and, if PJ's claims are true, scrub nasty attacks and threatening comments off the article, itself.

Why did he do this? One can only guess. Doc Conspiracy is open for reasonable suggestions.

So why write an article to smear Foggy?

Foggy comments on Internet forums that relate to Barack Obama’s eligibility. How is that news? Many of my readers do that and the number of people who comment on the Internet every day probably runs in the hundreds of millions (there are an estimated 1.87 billion Internet users).

Foggy wrote a letter to a US attorney about Orly Taitz. He may have handled a fake Kenyan birth certificate. There’s no evidence that either of them had an impact on WND readers. WorldNetDaily even had some news to report debunking that fake certificate which Foggy did not create. And even if Foggy had something to do with getting the fake Kenyan birth certificate to Taitz, what does his California bar status have to do with anything except as an attempt to smear Foggy’s reputation?

This is all nothing stuff. Bloggers are not news.

So why did Jerome Corsi representing what claims to be a major news organization chose to pick on an obscure web site operator who 99.99999% of the world has never heard of (up until now)?

Why indeed.

But help may be on the way! Over at Orly Taitz's website, our favorite can't-do girl is calling for a federal investigation of those awful people at Fogbow. Because, you know, political advocacy and making fun of the gullible and the fraudulent is high treason. (H/T to OhForGoodnessSake)

Meanwhile, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Please do consider the information about Corsi at this link, in particular the following quotes.

CORSI: So this is what the last days of the Catholic Church are going to look like. Buggering boys undermines the moral base and the laywers rip the gold off the Vatican altars. We may get one more Pope, when this senile one dies, but that's probably about it. (12/16/2002)

CORSI: Islam is a peaceful religion as long as the women are beaten, the boys buggered, and the infidels killed. (11/22/2002)

CORSI: Isn't the Democratic Party the official SODOMIZER PROTECTION ASSOCIATION of AMERICA -- oh, I forgot, it was just an accident that Clintoon's first act in office was to promote "gays in the military." RAGHEADS are Boy-Bumpers as clearly as they are Women-Haters -- it all goes together. (11/18/2001)

CORSI: Perfect Liberal -- lesbian, self-absorbed, hates America, anxious to impose her values on everybody else. [on Martina Navratilova] (06/26/2002)

CORSI: And now we get Pooh-LEFTY pushed on us by the RATS as Minority Leader in the House -- here come the SanFrancisco liberals -- hope the RATS go back to focusing the debate on gay marriages and other pro-choice topics close to Pelosi's heart. (11/18/2002)

CORSI: Too bad the plane didn't crash into the TV set of the NBC show "THE LEFT WING" -- especially when Martin Sheen was "acting." (06/07/2003)

(H/T to Doc Conspiracy)

'Cause, you know, fair's fair.

Birther Week in Review 6/11/11

2011-06-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

In which we watch THE Birther book plummet into the darkness, along with Dr. Kate's ability to understand context, and Orly Taitz's understanding of the law.

It's been another really slow week in Birtherstan, unfortunately. We have been led to believe that, between seasons, daily life crawls to a standstill, and the country's noble citizens laze on their front porches, drinking weak tea and strong spirits as they dream of hope and change. We just left "Bombshell Book" season and seem to be gearing up for the time of the "All Important Lawsuit," though we also hear that, unique to this country, seasons sometimes skip over one another, and lawsuit season is almost always year round.

But if it seems like the literary season went by quickly, that might be because, in spite of all of its publisher's statements to the contrary, Jerome "Dr. Feelgood" Corsi's "Where's the Birth Certificate?" seems to be suffering a worse fate than his previous work, "Obamanation." Not even bulk sales have kept the beast above the NYT bestsellers' waterline: it went from 6 to 14 to... um, where did it go? And, over at Publisher's Weekly, it's gone from 9 to 20 -- just below the latest Sarah Palin tell-all book.

Speaking of falling, this week has acted to reiterate the lesson that, when scouring the internet for information on one's enemies, one must always take what one reads with a grain of salt until confirmed. Arch-birther Noise Machine Dr. Kate thought she had a real discovery on her hands when intriguing facts surfaced in an interview she uncovered. Specifically:
* Pidgeon found at the Consulate in British Columbia, just over the US-Canada border, a record of a name change from “Barak Mounir Ubayd” to “Barack Hussein Obama” in 1982.
* Believes Obama was educated at Patrice Lumbuma University in Moscow, echoing Pastor Manning’s research;
* Mentions Nazi, Stalinist-Marxist, and fascist as descriptors of Obama
* Predicts Obama will throw the NWO under the bus as the Caliph.

If true, this might be a gold mine for those who think that our President is the earthly nexus for all strains of evil, everywhere. Unfortunately for them, this is nothing more than Iron Pyrite, dug up out of the feverish imagination of... a German parody news site, two years ago.

In the words of my late stepfather, "What you mean when you say 'OOPS?'"

(MASSIVE hat tip to Badfiction for the ground work on this hilarious episode)

On the subject of OOPS, perennial OOPStress Orly Taitz is starting to feel the cognitive dissonance, yet again. Remember last week when she failed to understand what a judge told her, and instead told World Net Daily that she was going to declare discovery and start issuing subpoenas?

Well, she's going further down the rabbit hole this week. One can only wonder if the Judge will be as amused as we are. But, when she gets hit with yet another judicial sanction, she can always cheer herself up with the knowledge that she's made the list -- specifically Time Magazine's list, where her blog is one of four they could do without.

And that's about it for this week. I'd like to say that, hopefully, we'll have more for you next time around. But that's like hoping for yet more Weinergate at this point.

Wouldn't it be nice if that was not the case?

But if you're bored, be sure to stop by Obama Conspiracy Theories and have a gander of the excellent dig-up work they did on Jerome Corsi. Do you know all you think you know about this man? You might be surprised at the skeletons he has rattling in his closet.

An apology to Andrew Breitbart

2011-06-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

Well, in case you have not been paying attention to the news, it would appear that the Weiner jokes were all highly justified.

Provided he's telling the truth now -- oh please, Goddess, please be telling the truth -- the entire Weinergate kerfluffle was the fault of one Rep. Weiner. It turns out that, in spite of it being proven that it is possible to hack into someone's Yfrog account and send out a photo "on their behalf," the original photo sending was done by Weiner, himself.

Rather than laugh it off, or try and explain it, he chose to lie. We all know where that path eventually leads -- bigger and bigger lies, until the house of cards comes falling down in a big way.

So Weiner finally did the right thing, called a press conference, and told the truth. (Again, we hope)

However, before the conference began, Andrew Breitbart showed up. Apparently he was nearby on unrelated business, but that didn't stop him from being talked into taking to the podium and getting a few soundbites in. Nice to know he thinks Weiner is in "very good shape"!

Breitbart asked Weiner and members of the liberal blogosphere to apologize "for a blame the messenger strategy" in the wake of the release of the initial photo. ... Breitbart also complained that the mainstream media has repeatedly questioned his credibility over his role in edited video controversies involving Shirley Sherrod and the ACORN undercover stings.

"I'm here for some vindication," he said. Appearing exasperated, Breitbart denied he was out for any sort of revenge and seemed incredulous that his motives were being questioned.

Well, never let it be said we here at the rANT Farm aren't willing to admit when we were wrong.

Andrew Breitbart, based on the evidence I had in front of me at the time I wrote on Weiner's electronic woes, I intimated that you may have been involved in a hoax, or at least known (or should have suspected) that it was going on. If what Rep. Weiner is saying now is true, and not just some sop thrown out in hopes of stopping any further indiscretions from coming to light, then obviously I was wrong in my judgment, and I apologize for jumping to that conclusion.

I am also sorry that you are such a scandal-mongering, lying bully that I would have cause to suspect you to be capable of such a thing.

I'm really sorry that you surround yourself with liars with James O'Keefe and go to bat for them when they get found out. If you actually had the integrity you expect out of others, you'd have kicked that sorry little twerp out of your circle ages ago, and not given him a platform for their mealy-mouthed prevarications. That you have not yet done this makes it so much easier to suspect you were just embracing another non-story for your own purposes.

I'm very sorry you felt the need to take Shirley Sherrod's words out of context, and use those mangled words to make her look like a racist, causing her to lose her job. I'm sorry that, as of this writing, I have yet to see anything from you in the way of a significant, proportional act of apology or contrition from you for having done this.

I'm also sorry that you've felt the need to attach yourself to a video that makes liberals on the street sound like a bunch of un-democratic thugs, but then that hasn't cost anyone their job or reputation, yet, so that's just par for the course from you.

I'm sorry that the person who alerted you to this tweet had a story that was so fishy, and a background that was so questionable, that it almost did look like he'd set Weiner up. So hopefully you can understand that, when we found out the two of you had been in communication, his fishiness plus your fish marketness could understandably equal shenanigans to the informed observer.

I'm sorry that the alterter's friend, who'd been joining him in harassing girls on Weiner's twitter list, is apparently a real scumbag. I'm sure you can understand how that couldn't help matters, either.

And I'm really, really, really sorry that you apparently had this information (and the same photo) a week before the scandalous photo was tweeted, but sat on it until now for... what reason, exactly?

I could go on. I really could. But you wanted "vindication," so here it is.

This time, you were right.

This time, you actually had the truth in hand, and not just your, well, weiner.

This time, there was some truth to be told, and you actually told it, in your own, glory-hogging, self-aggrandizing way.

So yes, I am sorry I suspected otherwise. But when the class clown, after months of falsely telling the teacher that Tommy Dingersniffer is pulling down his pants and mooning people, actually does turn out to be telling the truth on one occasion, that does not make him any less of a clown, or what he lied about before any less false.

You, sir, are a hack and a liar. If you ever want to be anything more than that, you need to start bringing us more Weiners and less Sherrods and O'Keefes.

Because we all know where lies lead, don't we?

Birther Week in Review 6/4/11

2011-06-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

In which Jerome Corsi lays out his legal cards, World Net Daily continues to spin, Orly continues to misunderstand the law, and both of them would like to take credit for a non-victory.

It was a slow week for Birtherstan, with no shocking reveals, or new twists and turns worthy of a ZOMG award. Instead, we got some weak cheddar, as the news would rather focus on Rep. Weiner's electronic woes (and miss the real story {maybe}) than pay attention to Birthers, even on what they'd like you to believe is the cusp of their victory.

Victory? Why yes. After all, Jerome "Dr Feelgood" Corsi not only has his book, "Where's the Birth Certificate," on the best-sellers lists (dropping like rocks from previous week, buoyed only by bulk purchases) but is about to drop charges against Obama for Social Security fraud, just like he announced he would.

Well, okay. It looks like he isn't. However, he's happy to announce that someone else is.

An international expert on scanners and document-imaging software filed a 22-page criminal complaint with the FBI, charging that the long-form birth certificate released by the White House is criminally fraudulent.

"What the Obama administration released is a PDF image that they are trying to pass off as a Certificate of Live Birth Long Form printed on green security paper by the Hawaiian Health Department," Doug Vogt writes, "but this form is a created forgery."

Vogt's criminal complaint asserts: "I have irrefutably proven that the Certificate of Live Birth that President Obama presented to the world on April 27, 2011, is a fraudulently created document put together using the Adobe Photoshop or Illustrator programs, and the creation of this forgery of a public document constitutes a class B felony in Hawaii and multiple violations under U.S. Code section Title 18, Part 1, Chapter 47, Sec.1028, and therefore an impeachable offense."

Sounds like the FBI's going to be removing that Usurper son-of-a-commie any day, now, huh? Well, not so fast.

For one thing, consider that Mr. Vogt doesn't know what he's talking about, according to the redoubtable Dr. Conspiracy. Also consider that the long form was seen, photographed and touched by at least one reporter, verifying that it actually does exist, and is not merely an electronic artifact.

Also consider that Mr. Vogt is, as recently revealed by our friends at Badfiction, a frakking crackpot, even by our fairly lax standards, here at the rANT FARM (yes, Tim Foil, I am looking at you)

None of these things add up to a slam-dunk legal course of action. But then, as World Net Daily has been kind enough to show us over the last week, their idea of what constitutes a slam dunk might get a few righteous objections from your average NBA referee.

Intel report: Kenyans honor Obama's 'birthplace'. As in the village his family grew up in, you fools.

Kenya probed claim Obama born in Africa Yeah, now about those sources...

But the best one from this week has to be Why is Obama's name different on passport? Because, you know, if it doesn't have that "II" at the end of his name, it's just not him. Really. Ask anyone who's got a II, III, or IV, or a sr. or jr. Deport them all!!!!

Speaking of deportations, Orly Taitz, our favorite "mail in your boxtops" lawyer, seems to be getting somewhere in her latest case, Taitz vs Astrue. Or so she thinks, and has told WND, anyway.

But under the radar of most new organizations a case has been moving forward in Washington, D.C., through which California attorney Orly Taitz is seeking the original application for Obama's Social Security number, a document that could reveal a multitude of factors about the president's early life.

U.S. District Court Chief Judge Royce Lamberth this week rejected a defense concern over procedure in the dispute, and Taitz told WND today the case has moved into discovery and she can issue subpoenas to those holding the documentation she is seeking.

..

(the Judge) ruled this week that FOIA actions "are exempt" from a local court "meet and confer" requirement and he gave Astrue 30 days to file "any dispositive motions."

The federal government had argued that Taitz' process to subpoena individuals with access to the long-sought documentation was out of order, but the court ruling means it is within procedures.

According to a report in the Post & Email online blog, Taitz reported, "We're now in discovery, so I can issue subpoenas."

ORLLY? Not so fast...

So in the real world, Dr. Orly got dinged for her habit of not redacting SS numbers and told to do it over again.

And while we're on the subject of the real world, White House counsel Robert Bauer is leaving his previous place of residence for it, and both Orly Taitz and Dr. Feelgood would like to take credit for it.

Orly says: Chief judge of the U. S. district court in the District of Columbia, Royce Lamberth, issued his scheduling order on June 1st. What is important, that it says, that the FOIA cases are exempt from the initial meet and confer, which means that there is no need for Rule 26 conference, so the discovery is on, which means, that the deposition of the White House Counsel regarding Obama’s fraudulent use of the Connecticut Social Security number 042-68-4425 and his use of the forged birth certificate, can go on. Robert Bauer could get deposed. Typically the White House gets an early warning of what is going on in courts, particularly in the DC courts. I wonder, if the White House Counsel Robert Bauer got information from one of the clerks, that the case will go on, which prompted his resignation the next day, on June the second

Meanwhile, Jerome Corsi says: "I think Bauer's resignation marks the beginning of the Obama eligibility cover-up starting to unwind."

Corsi believes Bauer "felt compelled" to resign because of the growing substance to worries that the eligibility issue will blow up into a full-scale investigation.

"Bauer sent Perkins and Coie attorneys to Honolulu to pick up from the Hawaii Department of Health what he believed would be two certified copies of Obama's 1961 long-form, hospital-generated birth certificate," Corsi said.

"When the White House released to the public the birth certificate in the form of a PDF computer file obviously created on Adobe software and a Xerox copy, Bauer realized the Hawaii DOH had participated in the fraud," Corsi charged.

But the real joke here is where Mr. Bauer is leaving to. Rather than hide under a rock, he's leaving his current position in order to help with Obama's 2012 re-election campaign.

Yes. You read that. Taitz and Corsi are taking credit for running him away from Obama out of fear, when all he's doing is changing how he serves the President.

Sense, ye be not here.

See you next week on Birther Week in Review, where we troll the pits so you don't have to. Donations accepted. Beer appreciated.

Have You Seen Breitbart's Weiner?

2011-06-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

So, heard the one about the Representative's missing weiner?

A day after doing at least six television interviews, New York Congressman Anthony Weiner is reverting to his initial pledge not to dwell on what he calls a "prank."

Weiner informed the journalists camped outside his office this morning that "After almost 11 hours of answering questions, any that anyone wanted to put, today I'm going to have to get back to work doing the job that I'm paid to do."

But Republican Majority Leader Eric Cantor indicated the matter is far from settled. "My advice would be to come clean and clear it up," Cantor said this morning on Fox and Friends this morning. "Again, perhaps he's trying, but I know there's a lot of explaining going on but without a lot of clarity."

Truer words were never spoken, Mr. Cantor. And while your friends at FOX News would like to take this time to warn us about internet safety, all the while getting in one more partisan jab at Rep. Weiner's electronic misfortunes, we at the rANT Farm would like to make a plea for some clarity.

And maybe some other questions, besides.

Thanks to excellent reporting from Daily Kos and others -- an effort notably NOT mirrored by the mainstream press, I might add -- we have a timeline of how this happened. Note the progression.

About a month ago: College student Jeanette Nicole Cordova (Seattle, WA) is followed by Rep. Weiner after he sends out an all-call for people to follow. She's not the only one to be followed by him in this fashion. Unlike others, however, she starts getting harassing tweets about Rep. Weiner and young girls.

Her harrasser "started posting about me, saying, 'Oh, the congressman is following school girls,' tweeting it over and over. It was very annoying," Cordova told the Daily News. When the crotch shot appeared online, she said the same Twitter user was the first to comment on it.

Who is that twitter user? That would be Patriotusa76, who, on May 11th, tweets the following:

(Note that he was also asking the same question of Charlie Rangel.)

May 12th: Patriotusa76 sweetens the pot, mentioning "young girls."

Two weeks go by. A lot can happen in two weeks.

May 27th: Entities as yet unknown hack into Rep. Weiner's facebook account, according to him. At some point a link is sent to a questionable picture, supposedly from his Yfrog account, out to one person in particular (one of those young girls Patriotusa76 was on about) but visible to Weiner's entire twitter list.

However, it is possible to place and post images from someone's Yfrog, without knowing their password, as Cannonfire was kind enough to allow someone to do with his own account.

The only way to create a URL-free header is to have someone else send a pic to one's Yfrog address. Milowent did just that. You can see the result: The header now has a blank space beneath Dowson's name.

Why does Yfrog work that way? I don't know. Ask their programmers.

The important point is this: The anomaly in the header indicates that the image was not sent by Weiner. It had to have been sent by someone else.

Not only that. Believe it or not, when an outsider sends a pic to someone else's Yfrog account in this fashion, the action creates a message in the "twitterstream." The message seems to originate with the Twitter account holder -- but it doesn't. It comes from somewhere else -- from someone mailing a picture to the account holder.

May 27th: Patriotusa76 goes into overdrive announcing that Rep. Weiner has tweeted "X-RATED PIC TO FOLLOWER"

May 27th: Rep. Weiner announces over twitter that his Tivo is busted and his Facebook was hacked.

May 28th: One of Breitbart's flying monkeys from Biggovernment asks if it's possible to create a Yfrog account with the exact name as someone else.

May 28th: Seemingly not waiting for his underling's sensible question to be answered, Breitbart goes on the attack.

And writes an article on the situation, replete with clever puns he obviously took the time to carefully compose. (/sarcasm)

Since then, Breitbart has decided to ride this issue for all it's worth, while Rep. Weiner has been both engaging and disengaging the matter with his trademark humor. The wisdom of the latter can be debated.

The presence of the former, however, remains intriguing. Let's look at Andrew Breitbart, shall we?

This is the same person who took Shirley Sherrod's words out of context to make her sound like a racist.

This is the same person whose disciple, James O'Keefe, messed around with footage from ACORN and made them look really bad. Breitbart not only gave him space on Biggovernment to defend himself (now 404ed, hmmmm) and went out of his way to defend O'Keefe, on FOX News, when the boy got his pimp feet held to the fire.

And now, in case you haven't been paying attention, Breitbart's been busted again. He edited a bunch of videos that purport to show that liberals on the street are in favor of having the government shut down the free speech rights of right-leaning media venues. Only, as with O'Keefe's works, the whole story wound up on the cutting room floor.

Now, of course, that may all be just coincidences. Just because the CIA tried to kill Castro doesn't mean every dead dictator America doesn't like was done in by the CIA, too. That's a logical fallacy.

But something I didn't know about Mr. Breitbart: did you know that he changed from liberal to conservative while having an "epiphany" during the Clarence Thomas hearings?

And you do know what Rep. Weiner was doing before all this blew up, right? A little something about Clarence Thomas, his wife, and what she does?

Here are the facts. Thomas' wife earned $700,000 from half the radical right-wing ideologues in Washington. Opposing health care reform was her specialty.

For 13 years, Clarence Thomas didn't disclose a penny of that income, even though he was legally and ethically obligated.

Thomas is trying to conceal a blatant conflict of interest. His family is getting rich off an issue that's very likely to come before the Supreme Court.

...

Clarence Thomas shouldn't hide the truth behind stalling tactics. Stand with me today and demand he publicly release his financial disclosure immediately.

As my colleague at op-ed news, Dennis Kaiser, points out, the pressure on Thomas -- and support of healthcare -- could explain why the mass media seems to be going after the poor Rep. and his namesake with such, ahem, vigor. Who can forget how excited Wolf Blitzer seemed while asking Weiner if that photo was of him, or not?

But a better question might be what precipitated this attack on Rep. Weiner's integrity and honor? And, better yet, who did it?

I'd ask Patriotusa76, but since being exposed on Dailykos his twitter account seems to have vanished.

And now, just as I'm writing this, a number of emails between Breitbart and Patriotusa76 have come to light, via the Smoking Gun. (h/t Justin Elliot at Salon) No word on who leaked them, yet, but it would appear that Mr. Wolfe has some explaining to do -- especially to Mr. Breitbart, who seems to be demanding an explanation for this bullshit.

Come out, come out wherever you are 'Dan Wolfe' @patriotUSA76! Stop hiding behind anonymity! Own up to your role & motivation.

Is there a real 'Dan Wolfe' @PatriotUSA76 or has someone for months elaborately pretended to be? #Weinergate gets more confusing!

Lookin' for some clarifying data from @patriotusa76. Call me. I'm listed. Article coming by 2pm EDT @BigGovt

Unless, of course, Dan Wolfe is just a smokescreen, cobbled together as a Fire And Forget Missile for the purposes of embarrassing someone, given a fake motivation for doing so, and then cut loose by way of a leaked email or two to The Smoking Gun while his creator (or someone in on the joke) publicly fumes that the goose that laid the golden egg seems to have flown the pond.

Or maybe this is what it seems to be. As TSG notes:

As the Weiner story began to spread over the weekend--and detractors started accusing him of somehow hacking Weiner’s accounts--Wolfe balked when Breitbart sought to arrange a conference call to discuss how to further exploit and advance “Weinergate.” In e-mails sent from his Yahoo account, Wolfe asked, “Why does he need to speak with me for this?” and “I’m just not sure why he needs to talk to me. Why is talking necessary?”

Now, if you had, as explained above, sent a fake photo post to Rep. Weiner's twitter by way of the Yfrog backdoor, or actually hacked into his facebook, would you want to get any further involved than just sending forward the info to someone who would use it (Breitbart) and then asking if he could use the goods or not? Especially if, as he said, there were "more"?

Either way, money's good that we're looking for real dick, here. The question is who, and why.

But what should no longer be a question is whether Rep. Weiner sent this picture to a young lady so she could marvel at his magnificent, if covered, penis. The mass media needs to explain, in no uncertain terms, that the story is a different one than what they've been presenting. It's not a question of the Rep's guilt, but a question of why Yfrog hasn't fixed this backdoor, and why they let a serial hoaxer like Breitbart come on their programs to push a fishy story with a clear trail of questionability.

But then, I guess we have the Birther model, and a slow news day, to thank for that.

Birther Week in Review 5/28/11 - Dr. Feelgood Edition

2011-05-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

In which Dr. Jerome Corsi rides the equine skeleton for all it's worth, Trump is/not convinced by the Long Form, World Net Daily continues its barrage of stupid, and LTC Lakin ponders his next moves.

It's been one month after the big reveal, and while, as some predicted, the unveiling of the Long Form Birth Certificate may have encouraged an exodus from Birtherstan, it has not silenced its loudest voices. Nor has it made them any less pathetic -- scrabbling like arthropods from one played-out piece of lost candy to another in search of some deeper, greater truth they can hold onto.

The top ant this week is the one and only Jerome "Dr. Feelgood" Corsi, who's most recent work, "Where's the Birth Certificate," is tipped to go on both the New York Times and Publishers Weekly bestsellers, according to World Net Daily. Not trusting them any further than we could comfortably spit a dead horse, we were able to confirm the NYT, at least, where it will be debuting at #6 on June 5th.

We were also able to confirm that a decent percentage of the sales is due to bulk sales, which means that the numbers could have been artificially inflated. The real test will be to see how long the book actually remains in the top ten on either list. I'm betting two weeks at most, verging downwards.

However, the book may receive a boost due to the author's increasing notoriety. While Corsi had a hard time making it -- or at least getting a fair shake -- on the big talk circuit, he managed to get on a number of radio shows. In this interview, he let it be known that he wasn't going to let Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah have all the lawsuit fun, and was going to be raising a legal challenge against President Obama for criminal fraud.

Interviewer: At some point Dr. Jerome Corsi... how do these things, we have about a minute remaining, minute and a half. How does this ever come to a head? How does this ever have a resolution?

Corsi: I think we'll be calling... I'm working on filing criminal charges on the White House for, uh, I think there will be criminal charges filed pretty soon, for having fraudulently produced a birth certificate, asking for an FBI investigation.

It's at 16:15 into the interview if you don't feel like listening to a lot of birther boilerplate. I can hardly wait to see how it turns out. Can the FBI deport American citizens?

Meanwhile, over at World Net Daily, there's a war of words ongoing between themselves and their former great white hope, Donald Trump. It seems that Donald isn't sure whether he believes the Long Form Birth Certificate is legitimate or not, and WND is stuck in the middle. Needless to say, they don't like it.

This confuses WorldNetDaily editor Joseph Farah. Is Corsi lying about what Trump said? Did Farah's website just make up some nonsense and publish it because that is what they always do? Or is Trump in league with them?

The answer, obviously, is that Donald Trump is part of the vast conspiracy to make WorldNetDaily look ridiculous. As Farah says:

"I have strongly begun to suspect that Trump had other motives than seeking the truth about Obama. I think he was pumping Corsi for information for some other purpose than being on the right side of history."

Plus, WND gave Trump an advance PDF copy of "Where's the Birth Certificate," meaning it is actually impossible that he didn't read it, as he now claims.

Corsi went even further in an interview with (of course) Alex Jones. Jones and Corsi both seem to think that there is a distinct possibility that Trump is coordinating his campaign to make them look silly with the White House!

Like they needed any help in that matter? We should also consider that, this same week, World Net Daily produced two unintentionally amusing stories.

First, just to prove you can't kill some monsters, is the Son of the Eligibility Billboard, coming soon to a neighborhood full of well-moneyed and/or highly gullible people near you.

The second is a lengthy piece that asks if there are hidden messages in the Long Form Birth Certificate, including a smiley face in a signature and the words "VOID" floating somewhere in the computer junk.

But before you laugh too loudly, our friends at Obama Conspiracy Theories have looked into the matter, and can confirm that there may be more to this mystery than the usual rightwingnut buffoonery we've come to expect from WND. Proceed with an open mind!

(On the other hand, courtesy of OCT, here's someone who actually understands how to discern faked documents on the subject. His verdict is that it has not been electronically messed with. Big surprise, there.)

In something of old news, we've caught up with LTC Lakin, courtesy of caaflog, by way of Badfiction. Now that he's had his steak and fritos, he's made some decisions as to what to do next.

Right now, I’m on appellate leave, which means I’m still on active duty but not receiving pay and just no, no duties other than preparing for possible appeals. And the appellate process can take up to, you know, 6 months to 18 months. The other option would be to waive the appeal process and receive my DD 214, or discharge papers, and I would be separated immediately from the military and go on with my life with no other ties with the military.

In another interview:

When I get back to the family tomorrow, I want to spend some missed time with them and, you know, after, after a little while I do need to — or in the next few weeks, I need to look into reestablishing my medical license and, and seeking employment. I need to find a way to provide for my family and then I want to continue with some type of service to our country or to some faith-based organization or do what I can to still enjoy helping others. Certainly, certainly that’s a driving desire in myself.

How about helping us to better understand the forces that talked you into disobeying orders and disgracing your otherwise-impeccable military record? How exactly did you get shopped into being a sucker for that dogbite attorney? There's a bigger story here than your own downfall, sir. Please tell us.

Finally, that noted Reptile Devil Woman Orly Taitz needs your money so she can subpoena people. Please buy one of her new, eye-catching and snazzy bumperstickers so she can defend America from uppity usurpers who won't let her feeeeeeee-neesh!!!!

(hat tip to our friends at Oh For Goodness Sake)

Birther Week in Review 5/21/11

2011-05-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

In which Trump chumps out, Corsi's book debuts to the sound of crickets, Farah gets his lawsuit pants on, and the Social Security Administration says :P.

The third week after the big reveal was a big week indeed for Birtherstan, but not in a good way. It's great white hope left the squared circle, its great holy book thudded into the dirt on arrival, and the government put the lie to a long-cherished notion of those who suspect something was suspect about the President's Social Security numbers. It was, however, a good week for trial lawyers, as a well-timed joke finally got a serial lawsuit-threatening Birther to lay down the legal gauntlet.

It started on a Monday, with Donald Trump doing what we kind of all suspected he was going to do, anyway, just maybe not this early. He announced at a press conference that he was not, actually, going to run for the Presidency. And boy weren't we just sorry to be deprived of that.

After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency. This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country. I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election. I have spent the past several months unofficially campaigning and recognize that running for public office cannot be done half heartedly. Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector.

That may be more true than he'd like to admit. The Washington Post's Chris Cillizza notes that:

Trump’s hand was likely forced by NBC’s decision to renew the “Celebrity Apprentice” for another season. That meant that Trump had to choose between his interest in presidential politics and his career as a reality television star. He, not surprisingly, chose the latter.

The great and thunderous noise you heard Monday was not the Endeavour taking off on its final voyage, but the sound of millions of Tea Partiers crying that God had forsaken them. Also perhaps some political cartoonists.

Not so the Republican political strategists, who, as polls help reveal, are doubtlessly pleased as punch to no longer have a fake-tanned albatross wrapped about their necks.

Speaking of albatrosses, World Net Daily's most recent one fell into the drink on Tuesday, but not with so much of a splash as a plop. That would probably be because Jerome "Dr. Feelgood" Corsi's book, "Where's the Birth Certificate?", had its titular question answered about three weeks ago, and what little remains to justify the book's printing seems to have made as much of an impact as a rotten apple on the side of a battleship.

Not that no one noticed. As always, World Net Daily's editor in chief, Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, was happy to put himself in traction by patting himself on the back.

When WND's reporting alone, supported by some talk-radio questions, raised significant doubts over Obama's eligibility, the news media misrepresented the widespread concern.

They claimed everyone doubting Obama's eligibility – those they dubbed dismissively and derisively as "birthers" – believed Obama was born in Kenya.

...

Only when "Where's the Birth Certificate? The Case That Barack Obama Is Not Eligible To Be President by Jerome Corsi hit No. 1 on the best-sellers list weeks before its release (officially today), did Obama finally relent to the public pressure to show Americans, his bosses, what he claims is his long-form birth certificate.

As expected, the establishment news media abandoned its watchdog role once again and accepted, without question or review, the document as valid.

It is not – as Corsi will demonstrate to the country in the coming days.

And, to his credit, Corsi did try to do so. Unfortunately, he seems to have seriously misunderstood the evil, liberal forces against him. That secret Liberal Sean Hannity canceled an interview with him. Then FOX Business did a total hatchet job on him.

Then those jokers in the White House had the utter temerity to not only laugh it off, but, as our friends at Oh For Goodness Sake revealed, actually offer Birth Certificate mugs and t-shirts with a donation to the 2012 campaign. My God, what kind of cruel world do we live in when a usurper President under fire by patriotic Americans doesn't have the basic decency to be afraid of the truth?!?!?!?11

To this date not one complementary review of the "Where's the Birth Certificate" has been written by any major Conservative periodical not directly associated with World Net Daily. I suspect the folks at the National Review are drawing lots to see who has to dirty their synapses with this chore as we speak. (Our partial look at it can be found here.)

There was one further amusement to be had, though. Esquire Magazine ran a humorous "news" item, a'la Drudge, which claimed that the book was going to be recalled and pulped. It also claimed that Farah went "rip shit" when the actual Birth Certificate was unveiled, and unloaded on Corsi over the phone.

When asked if he had any plans to publish a corrected version of the book, (Farah) said cryptically, "There is no book." Farah declined to comment on his discussions of the matter with Corsi.

...

"He called up Corsi and really tore him a new one," says the source. "I mean, we'll do anything to hurt Obama, and erase his memory, but we don't want to look like fucking idiots, you know? Look, at the end of the day, bullshit is bullshit."

If only WND's editorial department understood this! However, they were too busy being offended at the article, and answering phone calls for media sources who, not scrolling down far enough to see the "humor" tag on the piece, thought it was real, to get the joke. So they're suing, instead.

WASHINGTON – The founder and chief executive officer of WND has decided to pursue an aggressive legal challenge of what he calls Esquire's "libelous smear" in which the magazine's executive editor published a completely fictional article claiming Jerome Corsi's best-selling book – "Where's the Birth Certificate?" – was being pulled from the shelves and destroyed and that book purchasers were being offered refunds.

"I have concluded with attorneys who say we have an excellent chance of winning a lawsuit or lawsuits for the reckless disregard for the truth demonstrated by Mark Warren, Esquire and the Hearst Corporation in this matter," said Farah. "Personally, I think we should set our sights on taking ownership of Esquire. I think that would be a fair settlement. Obviously the magazine is in dire need of professional management."

Now there's the kettle calling the pot black! But further amusement could be found further down:

"I don't like to sue people or organizations," said Farah. "It's not what I do.

Oh no? Tell Newsweek Magazine that, Joey.

I note that this article has been widely disseminated on the Internet. While the damage to my reputation can scarcely be mitigated by an apology and a retraction, I recognize that demanding that action is a requirement of most jurisdictions that might adjudicate a case of this kind.

However, I reserve all legal rights to pursue adjudication of this matter should you fail to comply with this demand.

Copies of this demand letter are being mailed to you and to my legal counsel.

Dare we say this is... developing?

Speaking of developing, the story of dueling birther polls is ongoing. As reported by our friends at Obama Conspiracy Theories, the numbers of Birthistanis who had their nationality changed by adoption into the Land of Common Sense may have gotten a post-Osama bump.

"64 percent said they “always knew President Obama was born in the US.” Nine percent said they’d had some doubts but that once they’d seen the long-form birth certificate they were “satisfied that he was born in the US,” for a total of 73 percent. Twenty percent said they “still had some doubts about where he was born,” and 6 percent weren’t sure."

So that’s about 1 in 3 birthers who said they were convinced by the long form.

Better news than the last PPP Poll in question, at any rate. Be sure to keep an eye out for even more questionable data in the future as we move further from the original event!

And, finally, speaking of our friends at Obama Conspiracy Theories, the good Doctor (who was name-dropped three times in Corsi's book, btw) has an excellent post on the President's Social Security Number controversy, which may have finally been solved by the SSA this last week, but still not quite understood by the people pushing the issue. However, you may have to look away from the monitor at certain points to understand how they've failed to understand it.

In closing, we have Les Kinsolving, World Net Daily's man at the White House, on the reveal of the Birth Certificate. It is clearly a crime that this fine, upstanding newsman doesn't get called on more often.

See you next week for more dispatches from Birtherstan!

"Where's the Birth Certificate?" by Jerome Corsi

2011-05-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

When it was announced that Dr. Jerome Corsi was writing a book called "Where's the Birth Certificate? The Case that Barack Obama is Not Eligible to be President," I thought 'it's up online, you fool.' Of course, that simple explanation bore no fruit, as Corsi, along with his friends (and publishers) at World Net Daily have been beating the drum that the Certificate of Live Birth that Obama provided, back during his campaign, was either a forgery or inadequate proof.

You can lead a horse to water, so they say. So when Obama released the long-sought-after copy of his ever-elusive Long Form Birth Certificate, I had to not laugh. What would Dr. Corsi call his book, now?

Turns out they went with the original title, embarrassing as it now is. Why? Maybe it was too late to change it. Maybe they didn't care. Maybe they thought it was kind of funny?

I don't know, but I have my suspicions that they're intellectually lazy and don't really care about the truth when there's money to be made. So I'm going to speculate as much on the matter, and do so publicly, knowing that the likelihood of them actually suing me for libel is rather remote.

Hmm, I think there was some kind of point I just made there. But it's missing something. And that something is an accusation of calculated wrongdoing on someone's part. And that's what separates my possibly incorrect ruminations on WND's editorial policies from the most recent product of those policies -- namely Corsi's book.

According to Corsi, the President has engaged in a cover-up campaign since before he even ran for President. The book is essentially one big claim that, for one reason or another, Barack Obama has gone out of his way to obscure large portions of his past, or else misrepresent them. The central one being the titular one, of course, but there are many others.

However, what I'm most interested in for the purpose of this article is Corsi's views on what exactly makes a Natural Born Citizen. Given that World Net Daily, and especially its editor, Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, have slowly been moving the goalposts from "show us the Birth Certificate!" to "The Birth Certificate doesn't matter because his dad was African!" I wanted to see if he could do something that Farah et. al. have not yet been able to do in their many articles on WND. Namely, make a coherent, backed-up argument that being born in Hawai'i isn't enough for our President to be eligible.

Does he? No he does not. What he does, instead, is rehash many of the same arguments that we've already seen on WND, and from other Birthers ("Proofers," he'd rather we call them). De Vattel gets rolled out on page 33, and on 49 he tries to convince the reader that there are actually three types of citizens: Natural Born, Native Born, and Naturalized, with the Native Born being the product of non-citizen parents who crank out their babies on American soil.

Corsi, that noted scholar of Constitutional Law, essentially claims that the 14th Amendment as we understand it is not the 14th Amendment as it should be. The issue of outside Jurisdiction, rather than only applying to the children of foreign diplomats, actually applies to all children. So even if one of the parents is a Natural Born Citizen, the foreign citizenship of the other parent is enough to doom their progeny to merely Native Born.

All well and good, but there's something missing, here. And that something is proof. At no time in these sections does Corsi append to his arguments any kind of corroborating evidence that his reading of that Amendment is correct, and ours incorrect. Quoting Senator Howard's comments from 1866 are not proof, nor are going down the list of court cases that, in Corsi's mind, diluted the true meaning of the 14th Amendment.

He utterly fails to connect his claims to anyone more well-versed in the law who could back him up. Given that American Jurisprudence has been taking a much more inclusive view of what a Natural Born Citizen is since not long after the 14th Amendment was created, that seems a glaring omission on his part -- one that an editor should have caught, provided said editor wasn't part of the choir that Corsi's book is essentially singing death metal hymns to.

So no, this book is not the deadly bombshell that Farah has been making it out to be. While there are plenty of things in there to give so-called Obots and, yes, Birthers, plenty to argue about in the days ahead, there is no smoking gun when it comes to the central question of eligibility under American law. There's just another sloppy, poorly-argued thesis that proves that Corsi should really stick to writing Da Vinci Code knock-offs and leave the law to those who actually understand it.

Birther Week in Review 5/14/11

2011-05-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

in which the retrograde spin continues, Farah gears up for Tuesday's non-event, Orly gets told to mind her own business, Kreep makes good for once, Lakin's triumphant return from jail gets a crowdfail, and Missouri says "on second thought, don't show me" on the Birther Bill

It's the second week after the big reveal, and the scene has shifted quite a bit. While the number of affective Birthers (aka "People who hate Obama and were willing to believe any conspiracy theory about him until proven otherwise") has dwindled considerably (maybe), those who are still holding onto the ghost have begun spinning very intricate webs of half-truth, coincidence, and nonsense to buttress their beliefs.

At issue, currently, is the veracity of the Long Form Birth Certificate. As we mentioned last week, the presence of layers in the online graphic has caused some to claim that the certificate, itself, was bogus. The issue of the layers has been reasonably settled, but it has opened the floodgate to a number of other nitpicky and niggling issues that most likely have innocent explanations, but to the Birthers cry out "FRAUD."

Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah at World Net Daily (soon to be WND) is, perhaps not surprisingly, beating the Fraud drum the loudest, given that the new WND book, unfortunately entitled "Where's the Birth Certificate?" comes out this Tuesday. He has an entire laundry list of things that aren't right about it, according to him, but is ultimately falling back on the de vattelist (that is, irrelevant) conclusion that, due to only one of his parents being an American citizen at the time of his birth, President Obama is ineligible.

I was relatively certain Obama was hiding something, for instance, the real birth father. Because if Barack Hussein Obama Sr. was, in fact, his dad, then there is no way he is eligible to be president. He was a visiting student from Kenya, a subject of the United Kingdom. He conferred U.K. and Kenyan citizenship on his son at birth.

The men who wrote the Constitution and used the phrase "natural born citizen" as a requirement of office intended that future U.S. presidents would not have "divided loyalties" or even the appearance of "divided loyalties." In other words, the type of president they were trying to avoid with this language was the very type represented by Barack Obama.

That this is demonstrably not true has not deterred Farah and his happy tree friends at WND in the slightest, but it remains to be seen if Farah will only get shriller once the book comes out to what this correspondent suspects will be something of a dull thud to any outside the faithful.

Speaking of the faithful, Orly Taitz was at it again this week, trying to intervene in Hornbeck Offshore Services, L.L.C. v. Salazar et al As our friends at Oh For Goodness Sake note, the case is "related to the off-shore oil drilling moratorium and the Outer Continental Land Shelf Act, so Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. figured, hey, why not? She traveled to New Orleans this morning to intervene."

What followed was no less than the Kaufmanesque legal comedy we've come to expect from the Birther Queen: misunderstood rules, irrelevant submissions, false facts, and even comedy props (an unsilenced cell phone)

Orly went first. She was trying to desperately, I think, in her argument, tie this to the Hornbeck case and tailor it to the case at hand and drilling. She stands up in her first argument and said, “Hornbeck is much more than a case on deep water drilling. It’s about the administration, the federal government,” and then she said something to the effect that the very foundations of the, or the legitimacy of the, government and all the actions it takes are riding on this.

About 90 seconds into the argument her cell phone went off, so she rushed back to the gallery area and got it out of her purse and stopped the ringing. The Court admonished her that she was not supposed to have a cell phone, and then Mr. Rosenblum said, “That’s another local rule.”

...

Then she pulled out her gigantic exhibit. She didn’t have an exhibit stand, so she stood, holding it, and tried to point, which forced her away from the microphone occasionally, so she could not be heard.

She begins pointing to this and doing basically the same argument she made to the Ninth Circuit. Obama has been using a selective draft registration that’s invalid, because it was an invalid Social Security number. And she went on for a couple of minutes about that, and then the Magistrate interrupted her again and then said, “Aren’t these the same things that you attached to your motion”?

“Yes,” she says.

He says, “I’ve already seen them.”

In the end, the comedy was for nothing. The very next day, Orly was told, in no uncertain terms, that her help was not needed here.

Considering the foregoing factors in this instance, this court must exercise its considerable discretion to deny intervention. I cannot conclude that the proposed intervention shares any common issue of law or fact with the main case. While the intervenor – like the original plaintiffs – asserts the invalidity of the moratorium action taken by defendants, the legal and factual basis of intervenor’s claim – i.e., the President’s place of birth or citizenship – is entirely different from the legal and factual assertions of the original claimants. ... For all of the foregoing reasons, the motion is DENIED. This intervention should not be permitted.

Orly is not very happy about this. No word on whether she's similarly unhappy that her rival Gary Kreep has succeeded where she's failed, time and again, and actually gotten a Birther case docketed at the Supreme Court.

Keyes’ attorney Gary Kreep argued that California Secretary of State Debra Bowen failed to meet her obligation to verify the eligibility of candidate Barack Obama to be President, and his right to appear on the California Ballot. California argued successfully that the California Secretary of State has no such statutory responsibility.

It will be interesting to see what the Supreme Court rules in this matter, but it will most likely fail to get Discovery on any documents that would make the Birthers happy. This is a question over procedure, not whether Obama, himself, was eligible or not.

Also not happy was the face of Birtherstan, as, contrary to its hopes and dreams, its favorite son LTC Terry Lakin was not greeted by a "couple of hundred people" when he came home, but merely by about 80.

(start rant)

Way to be there for your fallen hero, idiots. He loses everything on your behalf and you can't even rouse yourselves to get up to Baltimore to welcome him home? Fuck the lot of you. Really. I'm not making excuses for what he did and how he went about it, both of which were damned stupid, but he deserves better than this. Much better.

(end rant)

In fairness, I should point out that the photo above was actually a nice thing that his family did as a joke gift.

The story of the Fritos: A few days before Terry's release he had finally inventoried enough toilet paper and sundries after months to splurge $5 on a bag of Fritos. He kept it for three days and then one night just devoured the entire bag in a few minutes. The joy of a good junk food meal. So Jim and Peggy prepared a gift bag for him at the parking lot just for fun.

So no, he didn't just get a bag of corn chips as a reward. But the story was so touching in contrast to the crowdfail he got on his return, that I had to do something to stop myself from crying. So I made fun of it.

Make of that what you will.

And finally, in better news, the Birther portion of the Missouriomnibus election law reform bill bit the dust earlier this last week, when the language that would have required candidates to prove NBC status was removed.

The amendment was removed, along with several others, by a joint conference committee in hopes that the final bill can pass by the end of the legislative session on Friday. “The more amendments there are, the more likely it is to get hung up in the Senate,” said Sen. Kevin Engler, R-Farmington, who led the conference committee.

See you again next week, when we hope to have a look at "Where's the Birth Certificate."

In the meantime, remember: "Your face is gross, you eat white toast - You don't know what to do. - It's just your luck, you really suck - That's all - I'm sick of you!"

Birther Week in Review 5/7/11

2011-05-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

In which Birthistan suffers a mass exodus, Gary and Orly try, try again, Joseph Farah wags Jerome Corsi's dog, and the layers prove irrelevant.

Week one after the big reveal -- in which President Obama made a lot of Birthers unhappy by finally doing the one thing they didn't think he would do -- it would seem that at least one of the desired effects has taken place. According to recent polls, the population of the rogue nation of Birtherstan has decreased quite dramatically.

Overall, 10 percent of Americans say Obama was likely born abroad, down from 20 percent in an April 2010 Post-ABC poll. Almost all those who now say Obama was born in a foreign country say that it’s only their “suspicion;” just 1 percent claim “solid evidence” that the president was born elsewhere (9 percent said so last year).

The drop-off in the mistaken belief that Obama was not-U.S.-born has come most prominently among his sharpest critics. Today, 14 percent of Republicans say Obama was not born in the U.S., down from 31 percent in April of last year. Among the most conservative Republicans, the number of skeptics fell from 35 to 16 percent.

No one's quite sure which country the former Birtherstanis have fled to, but they can be identified by peeling "Where's the Birth Certificate?" bumper stickers, World Net Daily books, and "Free Terry" t-shirts. Approach with caution -- they may still be contagious.

Speaking of contagious crazy, the Orly and Gary show is up for round two. After being told, in no uncertain terms, by Judge Carter that their lawsuit had no standing, they filed an appeal. It has come around at last, and it is ever so painful.

Obama last week released an official copy of his Hawaiian birth certificate, putting to rest the concerns of most of the voters who had been swayed to suspect that he wasn't a natural-born U.S. citizen and therefore wasn't qualified to run for the presidency in 2008.

But Buena Park minister Wiley Drake and the so-called birthers' legal spearhead, Orly Taitz, argued before a three-judge panel of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals that the federal judiciary needs to step in and enforce the Constitution's requirement that a sitting president be born in the United States.

You can watch the video here. (Hat tip to Doc C) Orly starts up at about 17:44. Note how they ask Kreep a lot of questions but just let Orly go, go, go. The poor dear probably thought that was good.

That isn't the only thing Orly is going on, though. She's filed another case, Taitz vs Astrue, which is a freedom of information suit attempting to get the President's Social Security records. You'll note from the video that SS fraud seems to be her current mode of attack. Pity she doesn't stop by Obama Conspiracy Theories, or she'd know that's the wrong tree to bark up.

She's not the only one yawping up the incorrect conifer, though. You might wonder what poor Joseph "Mr Mustache" Farah was thinking when his friend Dr. Jerome "Obamanation" Corsi's book, "Where's the Birth Certificate?", had its titular question answered by the President with less than a month to publication. The answer is to say the reveal was caused by the book, itself, and that it only goes to prove what Farah was saying all along... supposedly.

Whether or not the "birth certificate" Obama has released is valid and proves a Hawaiian birth, Obama is still not eligible to serve as president. It's just that simple. And this book will make that case in a compelling way.

...

Americans do not want illegal aliens to serve as presidents. That's not what the founders envisioned at all. But conceding to Obama's eligibility will open the door to American presidents who were "anchor babies" – children born of illegal aliens born on U.S. soil.

That's not what the Constitution means. That's not what the founders intended. And it's not what Americans want today.

I'm sure someone will be "compelled" to do something after reading this book. It may involve a dumpster and a well-aimed throw.

Finally, speaking of throwing, the remaining hardcore Birthers seem to be tossing a Hail Mary pass that the Birth Certificate is some kind of forgery, based on the fact that it has layers. It sounds like an argument worth investigating until you realize that it's totally irrelevant, as Doc Conspiracy, the National Review, and Epectitus have aptly shown.

Of course, you lead a horse to water, but can't make him drink. So you can expect the cries of "fakery" to be repeated for some time to come. If in doubt, head to WND for more updates from investigative reporters and detectives who may not exist.

Until next time, remember -- George Carlin once said "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"

Tuesday Night Music 5 3 11

2011-05-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

The big news is inescapable. Flashing over screens and plastered across newsprint. Celebrated or condemned, the message is the same. The monster is dead. The monster is dead.

Osama bin Laden is dead.

It was our afternoon, as we were several time zones away, in Dubai, UAE. A student came in and asked if I'd heard. Planes had flown into the Twin Towers in New York. Hadn't I seen?

No I had not. The internet was a mess -- slower than usual, ever for Etisalat. But eventually I got the story, and when I got back to the apartment tower I was able to watch it on the exercise room's TV.

There were no words. There never are. You see something like that and something in your brain shuts down. All you can feel is sadness, then loss, then rage.

Very dangerous rage.

What have we done with that rage? Some good things. Many more that were bad.

Some things we can be proud of. Too many we'll never be able to apologize enough for.

Osama bin Laden is dead. The monster is dead. But another monster grew up in his shadow - a slobbering little echo of him, created by notions of rage and revenge, sent shambling into the world to do black and awful things in our name.

Gitmo. Iraq. The more intrusive parts of the Patriot Act. Islamophobia justified. Hate turned to patriotism.

Patriotism used as the ultimate excuse for all the above.

Is this the face of war? I don't know. I would like to think a brave and proud people could conduct themselves better than we have for the last decade.

But I also know we could have been much, much worse. Maybe that's the saving point. Maybe that's what we have to be proud of, even in the face of so many bad things.

So many dead. So many on both sides dead. And for what? For this moment, when we can hold up a photo and smile?

Justice is being done, right now. The lady's got the monster, and he's going to know what hell means at her hands. He's fucked forever, now.

Those of us still here, though - we've got some decisions to make. We've got to talk about what we do next, and how we do it. We need to see about leaving some places. We need to think about being in others.

We need to change some rules and get back to basics, now that a large factor of that day's terrible architecture has been laid to rest in the briny deep. We no longer can say "he's still out there, somewhere, laughing at us."

We can no longer justify the war with hate.

I listen to this song every so often, when I think of sadness and death and the senselessness of the battlefield. Even the most righteous of struggles is still a struggle, even the most noble of wars is still a war.

"Murder - Man on fire.
Murder - I've seen the eyes of the living dead."

It's Tuesday night, this is Black Sun by Dead Can Dance.

First of May, First of May

2011-05-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

And that, one hopes, is that.

Goodbye monster. You hurt us more than you should have been able to, and scared us more than you deserved. I can only hope that you are made to feel the horror, loss, and pain you caused in others -- measure for measure -- so that, in your next trip through the wheel, you will not be in any way tempted to inflict pain on others.

Goodbye, Osama bin Laden, and good riddance.

Birther Week in Review 4/30/11 - Special post-Long Form Edition

2011-05-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

In which we look over the wide panoply that is Birtherism for any signs of apology or contriteness in the face of Obama's Long Form Birth Certificate, and find bumpkiss

Well, in case you were hiding under a rock last week, and not aware that Khaddafy's palace was bombed (by mistake, they were looking for Ghaddafi), Apple is unveiling a bold new product for hipper-than-thou computer nerds, and Cthulhu was worn to the Royal wedding as a hat, you may have also missed out on a very important development in the whole Birther story. At long last, after some dithering, President Obama decided to do away with the "silliness" inherent in the non-issue and release his Long Form Birth Certificate.

Of course, in the immediate aftermath, you would expect that a very large number of people -- some more faceless than others -- would immediately fall all over themselves apologizing through shamed faces. You would expect good, decent people of moderate character to realize they made a mistake and just admit it, so that we can go on to more important issues as a nation.

You might also expect that Santa Claus will solve the world's fuel problems by giving everyone magic rocks to put in their gas tank.

So no. We did not get the calvacade of apologizes that were due for having ever doubted an official Hawaiian COLB. Sadly -- but not unexpectedly -- Birtherstan was not full of shamed warriors in the war of ideas tripping over each other to commit sepuku with their POSFKBCs.

We have instead the spectacle of them tripping over their previous statements (some more than others) to move the goalposts from the issue of birthplace to the issue of overall eligibility due to his father being an African national.

Alan Keyes, who was one of the Plaintiffs in Orly Taitz’s court case, had this to say: That he resisted it for two and a half years is somewhat inexplicable… I see nothing in it that justifies this big battle to withhold it from the public. ... It looks like the action of an irresponsible and insane group of people.

Andy Martin, King of the Birthers, currently running on the Birther ticket, as at least willing to accept it. Of course, that doesn’t get Obama off the hook.

Donald Trump? Oh $%^& him

Gary Kreep, who brought one of the lawsuits – one that was going to have an appeal on Monday, in fact? How about him?

We don't know whether it's a real birth certificate until our forensic expert has a chance to look at the original,” he said. “All we can go by is what's on the White House website, which looks like a combination of several documents. Computers are too good these days.

How about Lucas “Inspector” Smith, intrepid detective and provider of Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate? He had the following to say:

(Yes, that is a direct quote. However, he did post two videos on his youtube channel explaining how the long form is a fakeroo.)

Jerome “Obamanation” Corsi, author of the upcoming book “Where’s the Birth Certificate?” isn’t too worried that his work is about to become a doorstop. As we reported recently, he said:

Farah, who spoke with Corsi earlier today, said the author’s reaction was “just like I expected.”

“He is deeply suspicious of the authenticity of this document,” Farah said, “and believes that we shouldn’t jump to conclusion about it.”

How about Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, editor of World Net Daily? We commented on him, recently, too, and his rush to put himself in traction by slapping himself on the back (or crease his spine kneeling down before The Donald for doing “God’s work.”). We’ve also discussed his reluctance to pay his pledge to Obama’s birth hospital once the long form was released, much less acknowledge his having made the pledge in the first place. He’s had more to say since then.

I was relatively certain Obama was hiding something, for instance, the real birth father. Because if Barack Hussein Obama Sr. was, in fact, his dad, then there is no way he is eligible to be president. He was a visiting student from Kenya, a subject of the United Kingdom. He conferred U.K. and Kenyan citizenship on his son at birth.

The men who wrote the Constitution and used the phrase "natural born citizen" as a requirement of office intended that future U.S. presidents would not have "divided loyalties" or even the appearance of "divided loyalties." In other words, the type of president they were trying to avoid with this language was the very type represented by Barack Obama.

Yeah, a well-educated Black man who isn’t as conservative as Joseph Farah. Go figure.

Farah wasn’t done there, though. He had more to say, and then even more. And he’ll probably have a whole lot more to say about it as time goes on, but not, I predict, much to say about that $15 K he owes Kapiolani Hospital. Pay up, Joey!

Birther lawyer Leo Donofrio, esq?

I predicted over and again that when it served Obama best, he would feed you an original birth certificate on national TV. Bon appetit to those who allowed this conspiracy theory to take precedence over the genuine legal issue: how a person born owing certain allegiance to a foreign nation can be a natural born citizen of the United States?. Since the BC was played so perfectly by the Obama team, the genuine legal issue will now be more marginalized than ever. .. well played, sir.

Other Birther lawyer Mario Apuzzo?

On April 27, 2011, putative President, Barack Obama, released to the public a digital image on the White House web site of his alleged long form Certificate of Live Birth. … The document published on the White House web site is not a scan of a paper document but rather was built with computer programming by using many electronic layers. A scanned document only has one layer of information. This document has various electronic layers which raises the serious question of whether the document was obviously forged. .. Another possible reason for the obvious forgery is that the creators of the forgery unknown to Obama want Obama to get caught at his big game of deceit. … But regardless of whatever game Obama is playing, as we shall see below, the real issue is that Obama’s father was not a U.S. citizen and so Obama is not and cannot be a “natural born Citizen.” This is the issue from which Obama cannot hide behind some manipulated computer images.

How about our best buddy Orly Taitz? Oh she’s got something to say alright. It got her thrown off a television show.

Reverend “Long Legged Mack Daddy” Manning? Well, he’d like the Republicans to stop the harming of innocent Birthers. Won’t you please lend a hand?

Birther Zero Phil Berg?

April 27, 2011 Obama released what he called his long form Birth Certificate. Interestingly enough he spent millions of hard earned Tax payer dollars defending why he should not release it, yet he did so today because it was a distraction to more important issues. Only as the Internet world have begun their investigations into the authenticity of the Birth Certificate with their many computers and software programs of all kinds, have we come to find out in very short order that what was to be a copy of the real Birth Certificate on file with the State of Hawaii is not, but instead is a fake to try and look like a copy of what should be his legal Birth Certificate.

Then there's Ron Polarik, video avenger who proved the COLB was a fake. He and Inspector Smith must have been cribbing notes, because his quote bears a strange, almost uncanny resemblance to Smith’s:

(Yes, you read that correctly, too. Polarik’s been MIA since 2009 or so. Wonder where he went?)

As for poor, former LTC Terry Lakin (only 12 days away from freedom), you'd think he'd be the most contrite of all. He went to prison for disobeying orders because the President hadn’t released his long form, after all. But what did his website have to say about the matter?

Then today, Mr. Obama produces yet another online document, a long form birth certificate. After more than two years of concealment and obfuscation, this document must be submitted for forensics testing to determine its authenticity. Similarly, the Kenyan birth certificate that has been widely circulating on the internet and on Capitol Hill-- should be tested.

…

The Terry Lakin Action Fund is calling for a full and complete presidential pardon for LTC Terry Lakin including restoration of pay, benefits, and service. Terry holds no malice towards Barack Obama nor did he when he chose to bring the issue to a court martial. Terry simply wanted confirmation of Obama's eligibility, a process that has finally begun in earnest.

And finally, we have Tim Adams. He won’t name names to identify the people in the Hawaii elections office who assured him that there was no Birth Certificate on file for Barack Obama, but he has taken the time to try and rehabilitate his story. Really.

Okay, well... no.

So what do we have? The only person who’s had the decency to at least admit it’s real is Andy Martin, of all people. Everyone else either says it’s a fake, claims it doesn’t matter because of Obama’s father’s nationality, or wants to hedge bets by calling for authentication while standing in the “dual citizen is no natural born citizen” camp.

Shameless. Totally shameless.

I'm afraid that, in his goal to end the silliness, the President has only given rise to a new wave of it. This issue is not going away any time soon, from the looks of things. It's only going to get more convoluted, and attract even more stupid, naive, and gullible people to its banner of dumb.

Which means we're stuck with each other for some time, then. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Birtherism - Hey Farah, Where's the 15K?

2011-04-28T19:52:00.001-07:00

Remember what I was saying yesterday about watching what you say to your arch-nemesis?

Well, in the case of Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, it's worse than I ever imagined. Also funnier.

"We've tried the stick," said Farah. "Now let's try the carrot. Obama has said he was born in Kapi'olani Hospital in Honolulu. He participated in a fund-raiser for the medical center in January. WND will send a check in the amount of $15,000 to whatever birth hospital is listed on his long-form birth certificate. All Obama has to do to see that donation made is to release it publicly."

Well I'll be a monkeys uncle. How did I miss that? I must have been asleep in August of 2009 when that goober made that pledge.

(And Mr. Farah must have been really busy last night. As of this writing, if you go over to the original story, at WND, the paragraph has been altered, and now they're saying $10,000. They've also taken down the bumper sticker you used to be able to buy advertising the pledge drive. Holy History-Eraser Buttons, Stimpy!)

But one thing's for sure -- don't bring that up to Joseph Farah! He's not in the mood to make good on that promise right now, as this interview with Cenk Uygur shows.

He's just going to have to take his time. I'm sure he's hoping the promise will just go away in a news cycle or two.

Will it? How loud can we get?

I hereby declare MONEYWAR. From here on out, any and all efforts must be undertaken to rub Farah's nose in this promise until such time as he either pays up, or admits he's reneged on his promise.

Birtherism - The Last Laugh is on Joseph Farah

2011-04-27T17:37:00.000-07:00

"Nevertheless, even Obama has moments of candor. Like the time he said: "The only people who don't want to disclose the truth are the people with something to hide."

But remember what they say, "He who laughs last laughs best."

I intend to have the last laugh at Obama's expense – and the expense of all his friends and admirers in the Washington press establishment."

That was Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, publisher of World Net Daily, back in March. Farah, possibly agitated that World Net Daily doesn't get invited into the Gridiron Club (the cost of iconoclasm?) went on a tear about how the President used the occasion to launch some well-deserved laughs at the Birthers.

The editorial isn't too remarkable, far as Farah's near-constant beating of the Birther drum goes. It goes on to repeat the lie about Barack Obama not handing over a Birth Certificate, and makes far too much hay about what on earth might be hiding on the "real" one.

But it was the final shot, repeated up at the top of this missive, which made me pay special attention to this one.

Joseph Farah must not have read a lot of superhero comics as a kid. You never, ever, EVER publicly swear to have the last laugh on your arch-nemesis. Because when he turns the tables, and you're sitting in jail for failing to conquer the world with a radioactive turnip, you would not believe how ridiculous you will look.

Which brings us to today.

Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the last 24 hours, you would know that -- after a week in which CNN viciously took most of the big Birther myths behind the toolshed for a good whipping -- President Obama finally decided that enough was enough. After years of being henpecked by a literal legion of flakes, failed activists, legal ignoramuses, convicted forgers, anonymous non-experts, conspiracy-pushers, would-be Presidents, and at least one crusading publisher (that's Joey), released the one thing that all these people have been asking to see, denying the existence of, or faking a Kenyan clone of.

The big bad original Birth Certificate that the COLB is based on can now be viewed. Note where it says he was born, and has a doctor's signature. Also note how it says nothing about him being a Muslim, or being adopted by his wife's second husband, or being born anywhere outside of the United States of America.

Note how many people should be feeling really, really small right about now. In particular, every single person who ever "produced" one of those Kenyan birth certificates, or vouched for the authenticity of one, needs to step off.

(Most of them were anonymous internet presences, anyway, but it's the principle of the thing.)

One person who is not feeling the least bit small is out good friend of the large hair, Donald Trump. He's very happily taking credit for the entire thing, He even thinks he did America a great service, rather than making us look like a laughing stock.

Maybe he actually does deserve some credit. Before he started beating the dead horse into sub-atomic glue the noise machine had largely been reduced to pathetic warblings from our friend Orly Taitz, the occasional yawp from Andy Martin, and, of course, the drum drum drum from Whirled Nut Daily.

Then Trump starts asking the question, and the news decides it IS news, and what was a laugh line at the Gridiron became a genuine distraction for the Commander in Chief.

But what about our friend, Joseph Farah, and his standing in all of this? He finally got a Birth Certificate, and it confirms NOTHING of what he suspected all along. Does he feel shamed? Embarrassed? Does he feel the overwhelming need to crawl under a rock?

Hell no. He feels like he just won a trip to Disneyland.

Joseph Farah, editor and chief executive officer of WND, the only news agency that has waged a relentless investigative campaign on questions swirling around the Obama’s eligibility for nearly three years, was elated at the turn of events.

"We're gratified that our work has begun to pay off," he said. "The certificate of live birth is an absolutely vital foundation for determining constitutional eligibility of any president. We look forward to reviewing it like so many other Americans do at this late date. But it is important to remember there are still dozens of other questions concerning this question of eligibility that need to be resolved to assure what has become a very skeptical public concerning Barack Obama’s parentage, his adoption, his citizenship status throughout his life and why he continues to cultivate a culture of secrecy around his life."

And, in another story:

In an interview with The Washington Post, publisher Joseph Farah said that he “fully expected this to happen” and takes credit for Obama releasing his birth certificate. “I’m delighted! I’m triumphant!”

“There were two pressure points,” Farah said. “This book and its success, and Trump’s big megaphone. Those two things raised the stakes for Obama. He had to do something.”

Oh yeah, that book. That would be Jerome “Swiftboat / Obamanation” Corsi’s “Where’s the Birth Certificate?” Due out in May, courtesy of, you guessed it, World Net Daily.

The book that, thanks to a leak of info (possibly direct from WND, itself) onto the Drudge Report, is doing really well on Amazon.

A book that, in light of what we now know to be true, is obviously not worth the paper it’s going to be printed on, if all it has going for it is even more asinine speculation and conspiracy-mongering about our President and his birthplace.

So how's Corsi handling this turn of events?

As for the book, Farah said there were no plans to update it before it release next month.

...

Farah, who spoke with Corsi earlier today, said the author’s reaction was “just like I expected.”

“He is deeply suspicious of the authenticity of this document,” Farah said, “and believes that we shouldn’t jump to conclusion about it.”

Because you know, the whole state of Hawai'i is going to stand for massive fraud. Really.

But all that's just a side issue. What Corsi does with what will soon be the greatest, most expensive paperweight outside of last year's virus-infected laptop is a side issue. What Tim Adams does to try and rehabilitate his extremely questionable story on WND is also a side issue.

The real issue: how does Joseph Farah figure he's going to get the last laugh, now that he's been proven to have been dealing in lies and falsehoods for the last few years?

How can he countenance his having smeared Obama's Parents and Grandparents, making them complicit in some global, far-reaching scheme to take a young man born in Kenya -- or wherever -- and get him into the White House?

How can he make restitution for having cheered on legal ignoramuses like Orly Taitz in their quest to unseat a legally-elected President based on what has been proven to be a massive lie?

How can he ever make it right with former LTC Terry Lakin, who's still sitting in military prison for having disobeyed lawful orders based on misinformation that Farah helped spread?

How can he ever pay that man back for having cheered on his dereliction of duty, based on what turned out to be a bloody falsehood?

How can he look America, and his readers, in the eyes with a straight face and say he was just following good journalistic impulses? How can he claim to have been working for truth and justice -- the cornerstones of good journalism -- when he's been up to his waders in lies and injustice?

How is he going to go forward when his own words keep dragging him back?

It is clear from his writings on the subject that Joseph Farah would now like to move the goalposts to the next logical conclusion: now that we know his father was an African national, is Obama actually an NBC? But that way lies a lot of cockamamie legal opinion from a few people who don't understand how America's laws work in regards to dual citizens, or those born here from non-citizens. Everyone else knows how it works, and it's not what Farah and his cronies envision.

Not in the slightest.

If Joseph Farah had any decency, whatsoever, he would stop, right now. He would apologize to the President for having dragged his name through the mud for no reasons whatsoever. He would make restitution, possibly by taking a long sabbatical from WND, and maybe working as a normal beat reporter somewhere to regain his understanding of what good and decent journalism actually is.

He would STFU about this Birther thing, already, and attack Obama for legitimate policy beefs. Or at least go back to libeling Bill Clinton, or Muslims, or something like that.

But as we've seen, "Farah" and "Decency" go together like orange juice and motor oil.

The last laugh has been had, Mr. Farah. It was on you. Try and understand that.

Tuesday Night Music 4 26 11

2011-04-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

It's a hard thing, in our cocksure world of yapping mouths and talking heads, to realize that our perceptions of people are often only gleaned from the briefest, most incomplete of studies. Harder still to recognize when someone you don't have much in common with does the right thing for the right reasons.

Whoever thought I'd thank Arizona Governor Jan Brewer for anything, other than giving the anti-immigrant hoot-n-holler types a flag to rally 'round, the better to know who they were?

But I got proven wrong this last week -- big time. I was positive that the dreaded Arizona Birther Bill, after being passed, was going to get a big old "JAN" right across its bow.

I also wondered when the next time someone from Arizona would be able to run for President, given that the state stopped producing forms acceptable to the Bill, itself, not that long ago.

But Governor Brewer vetoed it. And she didn't just do it quietly, either.

"As a former Secretary of State (sic), I do not support designating one person as the gatekeeper to the ballot for a candidate, which could lead to arbitrary or politically-motivated decisions," Brewer wrote in her veto message to House Speaker Kirk Adams.

"In addition, I never imagined being presented with a bill that could require candidates for President (sic) of the greatest and most powerful nation on earth to submit their "early baptismal or circumcision certificates" among other records to the Arizona Secretary of State. This is a bridge too far,"

Indeed.

Arizona's lawmakers had a chance to overturn the veto, in the dying hours of that session. They decided they'd rather name the Colt Revolver the state's official firearm. I guess they wanted to go out with a bang?

(Sorry)

Of course, reactions from the peanut gallery was swift and predictable. Orly shat herself with the righteous indignation that only the terminally wrong and questionable of ethics can muster. (Bernadette Arnold? Really?)

Others were less kind, and Orly's web page has been a non-stop, one-stop shopping location for any and all conspiracy theories regarding Brewer's non-existent flip-flop.

Me? I'm just glad that this person, with whom I thought I'd never see eye-to-eye, had the decency (however fleeting) to do the right thing. And it WAS the right thing, clearly.

We are reminded that sometimes even the people we think we are not going to agree with us are secret allies in the eternal game of compromise. Without them, we go nowhere fast.

But it's Tuesday night, and that means music. This song's been ratting 'round my head for a few days, which means it's time to share. "Pure Morning" by Placebo. "A friend in need's a friend indeed."

Birther Week in Review 4 16 11 - Special WND Edition

2011-04-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

In which our friends at World Net Daily make such a poor showing for themselves that it's a wonder they haven't died of shame. Oh wait, they don't have any. Also, Orly Tatiz notices our humble efforts, and Arizona's birther bill passes, but may not matter

Longtime readers of the rANT Farm will be well-versed in our long-running march of shame against World Net Daily -- home of some of the sloppiest drive-by journalism you'll see online. Published by Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, the site has become the clearing house for Birther misinformation, and the primary cheerleader for their frivolous lawsuits and judicial shenanigans.

In that regard, this has been something of a banner week for Whirled Nut Daily.

Still reeling from Dr. Fukino's one-two bodyblow regarding the existence of our President's vital records (without which there would be no Certificate of Live Birth for Farah to decry), our intrepid publisher decided to move the goalposts. Hawaii birth or no, Obama's not a NBC because... wait for it...

If, indeed, (The COLB) is a true and accurate representation of Obama's actual birth, it should be considered prima facie evidence that he is not constitutionally eligible to be president.

Why?

Because Obama's parents were in no position to confer "natural born citizenship" upon him regardless of where he may have been born.

Barack Hussein Obama Sr. was a Kenyan visiting student in the U.S. in August 1961. Stanley Ann Dunham was a citizen of the U.S. but too young under the law to confer even ordinary citizenship upon her offspring in August 1961.

Of course, neither of those things matter, unless you want to tell me that every 16 year old girl who gives birth without knowing who the father is just cranked out a non-President.

However, the best lines in Farah's articles are the following two: I don't trust Obama to tell the truth about anything. His autobiography is full of falsehoods.

Remember the proverb about the pot, the kettle, and the color black? Well, less than a week before Farah stuck his chest out for the cause, one of his favorite smear merchants really screwed the pooch.

Meet Jack Cashill. You might know him as the author of Deconstructing Obama -- a book that claims, amongst other things, that Barack Obama did not write either of his books, based on some "analysis" Mr. Cashill apparently did.

Well here's a sign of how careful Mr. Cashill is with his research. In a piece called Barack Obama's Missing Year, our investigator showed photographic proof that the manufacturers of Obama's background did a poor photoshop job of inserting a young Barry onto a park bench between his loving grandparents.

Except there's just one problem. It quickly became obvious to anyone who looked at the "before" and "after" pictures that the "before" was the cheesy photoshop, and the "after" was the real photo all along.

Media Matters pointed out the oopsie. The article's two lead paragraphs were struck without explanation. Business as usual for WND!

But then entered Salon reporter Justin Elliot. The day before Farah decided it was time to move the goalposts, Mr. Elliot wrote an article connecting the dots between Donald Trump and Sarah Palin's false claims that the President had spent two million dollars hiding his birth certificate, and World Net Daily's reporting on the subject -- specifically articles by WND writer Chelsea Schilling.

Elliot made the mistake of emailing Farah to ask for his input on the matter.

After my piece came out, Farah angrily emailed me to take issue with my characterization of WND as "a discredited birther website." ... The exchange started with Farah calling me a "smear merchant" and writing: "I notice you don’t bother to cite how WND has been discredited. That’s certainly excellent reporting on your part."

In any case, I wrote back to Farah with just one example, the latest, of WND's credibility problem. That would be this column by WND's Jack Cashill on "Barack Obama's missing year." The lead of the column aimed to debunk a famous photo of a young Obama flanked by his grandparents on a bench in New York City. As proof, Cashill embedded a YouTube video that purported to show that Obama had been photoshopped into the picture, and that the real image included only Obama's grandparents.

Unfortunately for Cashill the supposed "genuine" image -- the one without Obama -- was itself a sloppy photoshop job that still included part of Obama's knee between his grandparents. This was pointed out by Media Matters about eight hours after Cashill's column was published on WND.

At that point WND simply scrubbed the first two paragraphs of the story, without so much as an update, let alone a correction.

Note to Justin - never tell Farah the truth, it just makes him angry. However, when Farah gets angry, the truth comes out. (There's probably some Zen thing, there...)

When I pointed this out, Farah fired back (emphasis added):

"Jack Cashill is an OPINION columnist. Admittedly, we publish some misinformation by columnists, as does your publication and every other journal that contains opinion. Bill Press seldom gets anything right in his column, but because we believe in providing the broadest spectrum of OPINION anywhere in the news business, we tolerate that kind of thing. Yes, Cashill’s column contained an egregious error, which we corrected almost immediately, which is far more than I expect you to do in what I assume is a NEWS piece you wrote."

This is interesting, when you take this into account. (emphasis added)

On September 13, 2001, WND published a commentary by Anthony C. LoBaido regarding the September 11 attacks on New York City and Washington, D.C., two days earlier. In his column, LoBaido outlined what he regarded as the moral depravity of America in general and New York in particular, asking whether, "God (has) raised up Shiite Islam as a sword against America." Commentators Virginia Postrel of Reason magazine and James Taranto of the Wall Street Journal criticized LoBaido and Joseph Farah for the piece and called for columnists Hugh Hewitt and Bill O'Reilly to sever their ties with WND, prompting Farah to respond with a column of his own explaining that the article did not reflect the viewpoint of WND, and that it, like most other commentary pieces, had not been reviewed before being published.

Hmmmmmmm....

But wait, it gets better!

I asked Farah if it is standard practice at WND to remove major sections of stories without any correction. To which he responded:

"How long have you been in this business, punk? My guess is you were in diapers when I was running major metropolitan newspapers. You call what you wrote a news story? You aren’t fit to carry Chelsea Schilling’s laptop.

Worm."

And then it gets even better. Not content to merely call a critic a member of Lumbricus terrestris, Farah went on a tear to defend his dear friend.

I'd like you to compare and contrast and form your own opinions about the level of professionalism and journalistic integrity demonstrated by the two starkly different reporters, with starkly different approaches to journalism.

I'd like you to look at the two reporters and make any judgments you think are appropriate about them: Which one would you rather have dinner with? Which one would you most trust to babysit your kids? Which one would you most likely hire if you had the choice? Which one seems more trustworthy?

...

As I said, I'll take principled, professional reporters like Chelsea Schilling any day over sissified, left-wing bloggers pretending to do journalism.

Journalism, roughly defined as discovering that the Obama campaign paid out close to $2 million to a legal firm that handles all its legal matters, and then assumed that all or most of that money is going to "hiding" the Birth Certificate. Genius, that.

Salon has circled the wagons a bit, with reporter Alex Pareene laying down some well-deserved smack.

WorldNetDaily is a magnet for the dumbest, dullest wingnuts in America. Even its lawyer is a buffoon. Last year, WND sued the White House Correspondents' Association because WND's disreputable conspiracy website was only given one table at the Correspondents Dinner. (They do have a White House correspondent, actually. It's Les Kinsolving, a tragicomedy of a man who is invited to briefings solely to be called on when the press secretary wants to answer a stupid question about who wrote the president's memoir instead of a serious question about reality.) Anyway, their lawyer was Larry Klayman, who is not allowed to appear before courts in much of the United States because of his "total disregard for the judicial process."

Well now we see why they like Orly Taitz... except when they don't.

(N.B. It seems that article was scrubbed by the invisible hand of Farah, too, as the word "Gadfly" was used to describe Taitz when Badfiction quoted it. Seems they don't just adjust columns!)

But it's not all embarrassment for Farah this week. Word has it that Donald Trump and he have been confabbing quite a bit.

Kendra Marr of Politico reports that Farah says he and Trump talked every day this week, and he has been advising Trump on the basics of birtherism. "We've have been speaking quite a bit," Farah said.

...

According to Marr, Farah said he offered to give Trump a tutorial in birtherism once Trump started publicly asking questions about President Obama's birth certificate. "His people were very quick to respond," Farah said.

...

Farah and WND have been rejected by the broader conservative movement. They were barred from holding a panel on birther issues at the Conservative Political Action Conference in 2009, and haven't been welcomed back since.

This year WND ran an article theorizing that CPAC had been infiltrated by Muslims

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Stay classy, my friends.

Let it be resolved, all anti-Birther activists should do their best to rile Mr. Farah up at least once a week, in order for more nuggets of truth to come out. The term is called "gaslighting." Watch the movie.

....

Speaking of gaslighting, Orly Taitz apparently noticed one of our previous weeks in review. She isn't flattered.

More attacks from Obama operatives: they are altering my photographs, painting my eyes red, calling me a “terminator” and other names. And all of these thugs are working hard to provide a cover of the occupant of the White House

Sorry, Orly. Next time I'll pick a movie reference you might actually get. Still, I guess I'm no longer heading the "por-Obama Media"

Also, check out Orly in action on CNN. Good for a laugh, but I wish they'd let the other guest have more time to smack her facts out of the park.

And finally, we have bad and good(?) news from Arizona. The bad news is that the Birther Bill is headed to the Governor's desk for signing. The good news is that the state's Attorney General says that Obama's COLB is sufficient proof to pass muster under that law.

Bennett stated the hospital, physician and witness signatures mentioned in the bill are not absolute requirements, but only required “if applicable”. Bennett stated that as important as the birth certificate itself is, the accompanying certification of the copy is equally important. [The copy Bennett was shown lacked a visible seal and the stamp on the back was not reproduced.]

But you did notice the ? up there, right?

Bennett expressed concern, however, over lawsuits. Under the Arizona bill, any citizen could bring a suit over the Secretary of State’s decision. No matter what Bennett does, it is virtually certain that some citizen (or many of them) would file a lawsuit trying to overturn his decision. Given the tight time frame in the preparation of the ballot after candidate filing deadlines, Bennett could see a problem if there were lengthy legal battles.

Which means that, given the Birthers' pattern of judicial tyranny, it's almost certain that, should he say the COLB is kosher, someone's going to fly to AZ and want to sue, sue, sue.

Happy happy? Joy joy?

Until next time, remember "Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

Tuesday Night Music 4 12 11

2011-04-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

France's asinine ban on face coverings -- that is, Muslim veils -- went into effect today. The first lucky prize winner was a 27 year old woman who went into a Parisian shopping center in Muslim dress, rather than choosing one of the many other clothing options that France has to offer.

Like, say, stark naked -- a state of affairs President Sarkozy's wife was quite comfortable with in her modeling days.

For her troubles, this lucky young lady has won the opportunity to pay a 150 Euro fine (about $216 in real money). Either that or she can attend classes on French citizenship.

No doubt they'll skip over the bit on Liberty, Equality, and Brotherhood.

Why France? "Why not?" say apologists for this bit of friendly fascism. After all, this is the same country that banned all clear signs of religious affiliation in its public schools not more than seven years ago.

Isn't this just the next logical step to making sure France is keeping Church and State separated at all costs?

But what cost? What harm does it really do to allow those who believe that their God desires a different, higher level of modesty from them to follow that dictate? You can't force the tenets of feminism and so-called gender liberation upon those who think a higher being says otherwise.

That said, it's with some grim satisfaction that I read the police can fine those who force women to wear veils double... but good luck getting anyone to cop to that one.

But let's face it -- all arguments about security and separation aside, the real problem is that far too many in France are far too fearful of the specter of a silent invasion of Muslims. Within a generation their numbers have grown quite a bit, and brought with it the sort of things that your average beret-wearing, horse-eating Monsieur and Mademoiselle weren't really expecting to see when they went into the city for a night at the theater.

Religious diversity and all the messy things that go with it, in other words. "How dare they be Muslim in our country!"

How dare they indeed.

The lights are going out all over Europe in that regard. Burqa bans, minaret bans, stoppages on mosque construction. It's as if those pasty white fellows are finally deciding that they've had enough of a suspicious religious minority they don't understand, nor care to, be fruitful and multiply in their lovely communities.

If it sounds a familiar concept, it should -- substitute "Jew" for "Muslim" and you have Europe before WWII turned the noxious, everyday oppression of a religious minority into something altogether different.

Are we so different over here, in America? I'd like to think the answer is yes, but then I need only look at New York City to see that, even here, there are those who think religious freedom is only for them and theirs.

Just today, in my place of daily -- usually happy -- toil, I discovered that Robert Spencer has a new book. It's called the The Complete Infidel's Guide to the Koran.

The tagline is "He read the Koran so you don't have to," which seems to be the general level of discourse on the matter. Don't trust, let us fill you with fear. Don't think, let us do it for you.

Don't explore, let us pick your friends.

In a perfect world, we would all accept one another for our failings and successes, so long as those things caused us no harm. We would treasure our differences as well as our similarities.

We would seek friendship over strife and trust over suspicion.

We're nowhere near any of that. Even the best amongst us still cling to bullshit slogans like "tolerance" instead of speaking of the only true way to handle non-lethal differences -- namely acceptance.

Even the best are nowhere near good enough for the task at hand -- building a better world for those who will inherit it from us, and giving them an example to emulate and improve on, rather than run screaming away from.

Much like France seems to be hoping its Muslim population will do to it.

But it's Tuesday night, and that means music. Maybe this isn't the best song to talk about what I'm getting at, here, but I see your true colors, and that's why I love you. So don't be afraid to let them show.

Birther Week in Review: 4 9 11

2011-04-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

In which Dr. Fukino has the (hopefully) final word, after Trump gets spanked into the ground, Orly gets backed up and run over by World Net Daily, who may have an investigatorial connection to the Donald, and Arizona's Birther Bill moves closer to being law

Are you sick of listening to Donald Trump hit every bad note in the Birther Anthem, night after night? So is Dr. Chiyome Fukino, former Director of Hawaii's Department of Health, who hit back at the (mostly) one-note Presidential Presumptive after hearing her work dragged through the mud.

The Hawaiian state health official who personally reviewed Barack Obama's original birth certificate has affirmed again that the document is "real" and denounced "conspiracy theorists" in the so-called "birther" movement for continuing to spread bogus claims about the issue.

...

As the top Hawaiian official in charge of state health records in 2008, when the issue of Obama's birth first arose, Fukino said she thought she had put the matter to rest. Contacted by NBC, Fukino expanded on previous public statements and made two key points when asked about Trump's recent comments.

The first is that the original so-called "long form" birth certificate — described by Hawaiian officials as a "record of live birth" — absolutely exists, located in a bound volume in a file cabinet on the first floor of the state Department of Health. Fukimo said she has personally inspected it — twice.

...

Her second point — one she made repeatedly in the interview — is that the shorter, computer generated "certification of live birth" that was obtained by the Obama campaign in 2007 and has since been publicly released is the standard document that anybody requesting their birth certificate from the state of Hawaii would receive from the health department.

But wait. It gets even better.

... Wisch, the spokesman for the attorney general's office, said state law does not in fact permit the release of "vital records," including an original "record of live birth" — even to the individual whose birth it records.

"It's a Department of Health record and it can't be released to anybody," he said. Nor do state laws have any provision that authorizes such records to be photocopied, Wisch said. If Obama wanted to personally visit the state health department, he would be permitted to inspect his birth record, Wisch said.

But if he or anybody else wanted a copy of their birth records, they would be told to fill out the appropriate state form and receive back the same computer generated "certification of live birth" form that everybody else gets — which is exactly what Obama did four years ago.

POW. ZOOM. To the Moon. Unfortunately, as is visible on this thread over at Obama Conspiracy Theories, the Birthers are already trying to spin this right round like a record, baby.

(N.B. If you ever want to imagine what being a Birther must be like, imagine trying to be the shopkeeper in Monty Python's "Dead Parrot" Sketch. If only this myth was as bleeding demised!)

Dr. Fukino's vicious and vital de-pantsing of one of the central pieces of Birther mythology comes on the heels of a very in-depth dissection of Donald Trump's birther boilerplate, which has become more pronounced and punchline-worthy as time has gone on. Appropriately entitled "Donald, You're Fired," the piece at Factcheck covers a lot of essential ground, and is worth reviewing even if you're already well-versed.

The real question, of course, is why so many people, when interviewing the Donald, refuse to interrupt him with anything resembling a spine. Are they afraid of seeming to be partial to the President, or just afraid of being run over by the 5:00 Trump Train?

Speaking of being tossed under the train, that's exactly what happened to Orly Taitz this week, over at World Net Daily. (I guess they didn't have time for Michelle Bachmann.)

What's this? Did Barack Obama only attend Columbia University for nine months?

That was the indication of a report obtained from the Student Clearinghouse by eligibility attorney Orly Taitz, who has represented clients in legal challenges pertaining to Obama's bona fides.

But according to information obtained by WND, it appears Obama did indeed attend Columbia for two years.

What's interesting is that, on the page where I read the story, badfiction (tips hat), their quote read "by eligibility gadfly Orly Taitz." Did WND do a little housecleaning?

Speaking of World Net Daily, word has it that one of Donald Trump's investigators in Hawaii may be the one and only Jerome Corsi, who is soon to have a book on the President's Birth Certificate out by way of WND. This has yet to be directly confirmed, but it would explain a few things.

Unfortunately needing no explanation, given Arizona's recent decline in outsider relations, it appears the "birther bill" (HB2177) has received preliminary approval. Thankfully, Tennessee's has bit the dust.

That's this week in Birtherstan. And remember, Camus once said that "Stupidity has a knack of getting its way," but that doesn't mean we have to like it.

Do not mess with the person who knows where the loot is buried.

Tuesday Night Music 4 5 11

2011-04-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

Good old Terry Jones -- accused spiritual abuser, possible cult leader, and definite homophobe. After the brouhaha he stirred up last year, threatening to burn a Quran on 9/11, then reconsidering, then not, then again, we kind of hoped he'd just crawl under a rock and stay there.

No such luck.

After claiming he never would even consider burning a Quran again, Jones up and did it, anyway, after a show trial in which the holy book was found guilty. Some Muslims in Afghanistan didn't take too kindly to that, and, as he was warned might happen, people died because of it.

I guess when we need a situation worsened, or a problem created, we now have our go-to man.

Now it's obvious that Jones didn't hold a gun to anyone's head and make them storm that UN building. As such, we can't directly blame him for what happened, any more than we can blame someone for causing a stampede when they yell "free candy!" outside a Weight Watcher's meeting.

After all, if someone yells "Movie" in a crowded fire, is anyone really to blame for what results?

But then it's also obvious that no one held a gun to Jones head and made him light that holy book, either. So he can't directly blame Islam for making him engineer an event to prove how violent the faith is by doing something that is considered so abhorrent to most faithful Muslims that someone, somewhere, was doubtlessly going to get violent when he did it, thus making Jones burn a Quran just to prove his point.

You see what I mean, right?

If not, then don't feel bad. Most op-ed people who are saying that maybe Jones shouldn't have done this, but it proves he was right, don't get it either.

If you don't see why not, stand outside a church this Sunday and light up a Bible as the service is letting out. See how much forgiveness and love you get handed.

Also, wear fur to a PETA meeting.

The good news is that, now that Jones has done this thing, and certain things have resulted, he really has nowhere to go but, well, nowhere. You can only pull an outrage once or twice before the people you're trying to incite to riot realize they're being played, and stop taking the bait.

(We hope)

But then we are also told that the next trial Jones plans to hold is the Prophet Mohammed, himself. Hopefully the Prophet will show up to take the stand, himself, as I'm certain this will forestall the next logical trial -- Allah, himself.

And you know that's just not going to end well at all.

But it's Tuesday night, and that means music. For Terry Jones and those like him, we have a tune from my favorite EBM pioneers, Front 242. This is Welcome to Paradise. Jesus is here.

Birther Week in Review: 4 2 11

2011-04-03T11:33:00.001-07:00

In which Orly Taitz returns to court, Trump continues down the Birther road, Tim Adams falls flat on his face, and Bachmann surprises everyone

Just when you'd thought we'd heard everything there was to hear from Birther Queen Orly Taitz -- other than losing yet again, and handing her crown over to Donald Trump -- we discover that she's gearing up for another tilt at the windmill known as Barnett vs. Obama.

As Doc Conspiracy puts it:

Readers may recall that this is the lawsuit where Orly Taitz and Gary Kreep were co-counsels for a collection of plaintiffs [I just can't get that phrase, "rag tag fugitive fleet" out of my head] including failed presidential candidate Alan Keyes, active-duty military officer Pamela Barnett and a collection of others. The suit began with Alan Keyes claiming that some Bush-era executive order required investigating something or another totally inapplicable to Obama. This is also the case where Orly Taitz couldn’t quite get the defendants served with the complaint. Then, the lawsuit completely changed directions in the First Amended Complaint transmogrifying it into a quo warranto action, brimming with Social Security numbers and fake Kenyan birth certificates.

Is it any wonder Judge Carter tossed the case?

But now it's back on appeal, apparently. Oral arguments are scheduled for May 2nd, provided they aren't scuttled and the case decided solely on the briefs. Given Judge Carter's long and meticulous finding that the issue could not be decided by his court, I doubt it'll do well at all.

Speaking of not doing well at all, we have Donald Trump, who has provided no less than three birth notices to prove that, yes, he was born in America. He has also continued to harp on the Birther question, in spite of the opprobrium that it's generating towards him, on FOX News with Greta V, who mostly let him prattle, and then Bill O'Reilly, who called him on his nonsense (while seeming to agree with him that we have a "mooslum" problem).

Thankfully, Lawrence O’Donnell called him on even more of his nonsense, of which there was a hell of a lot. It's gotten to the point where even Glenn Beck, who's trounced on Birtherism before, has made public his concerns about the Trumpster -- he's apparently making him "uncomfortable."

Now THAT'S an achievement!

We also have a surprise return of the notorious Tim Adams, courtesy of Fact Check Radio. If you have two hours to spend listening to Mr. Adams go back and forth on what he said with people who actually know what they're talking about -- including our friend Doc Conspiracy -- it's quite a treat. The real smackdown begins about a quarter of the way through.

And finally, some shocking news from Michele Bachmann. In spite of making a big deal about showing her own Birth Certificate while considering a run for the Presidency, and hooking up with Iowa's #1 State Senate Birther, she seems to now be of the opinion that the issue of Obama's birth is simply not important.

(Question: Do you believe there is any possibility that President Obama was not born in the United States?)

Bachmann: You know, that is probably the least important issue in the United States right now. The most important issue is dealing with the economy and with job creation... I believe in accomplishing things and getting something done, and that's the least of my interests."

Hear that? That was a silent sound of a million Birthers going What you say?

Whether that was a feint to sound less crazy or a genuine admission of uncaring has yet to be determined. I'm willing to bed even money that our favorite journalist, Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, will no doubt have something to say about this lapse of faith next week.

See you then! And remember, according to the Washington Post, the Dopeler effect is the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Maybe that's why Birthers talk so fast?

Tuesday Night Music 3 29 11

2011-03-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

So the word is that, after berating Obama for not producing a Birth Certificate, Trump was so energized to show up our President that he produced not one, but two -- just to show that Usurper how it's done.

This, of course, raises the question as to which one is the forgery.

It also calls into question any number of other facts. Are we sure the forged one is really forged, and not merely altered? Do we have the identity of people who turned it in on his behalf straight?

Was the improper one -- which may or may not be forged or simply altered -- really delivered by mistake, or is it part of a larger, more devious plot to confound eligibility skeptics?

I also note that his mother was born in Scotland. Does this not imply that she was, perhaps, not a citizen of the United States at the time of his birth, thus making him ineligible for the highest office in America?

I'm sure there are many who share my concerns. Perhaps they could join me in demanding that, in the interest of total disclosure, Mr. Trump also release his kindergarten records, driving school test scores, college transcripts, potty training details, and hair care specifics.

Especially that last one.

Of course, this is all politics as unusual. I fully expect Trump to break all records for trick shooting by nailing himself in the foot while it's in his mouth while his head's up his ass.

I also expect the Trump 2012 train to crash into a mountain, Wile E. Coyote style, when it becomes apparent that the only ideas he's brought to the electoral table involve being Donald Trump. Ross Perot, anyone?

(Where IS he, these days?)

But while we're awaiting the wreck, we have time to dance before the station explodes into matchsticks and hairspray. Tonight we can kick out the jams to a genuine one-hit-wonder: Re-Flex's The Politics of Dancing.

It may have said everything that needed to be said about politics in our age.

Birther Week in Review: 3 26 11

2011-03-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

In which Trump makes a mess, Bachman-Sorenson Overdrive have a Presidential jam session, Arizona Birther Bill WILL NOT DIE, and Farah admits to unchristian behavior

As we reported last week, Donald Trump has apparently decided to throw himself ahead of potential GOP Presidential Candidates by jumping on the Birther bandwagon before anyone else did.

(Well, except for Andy Martin, but to hell with him.)

The Trump had a chance to expound on his views on, appropriately enough, The View this week.

"Why doesn't he show his birth certificate?" a tanned Trump asked the women of "The View" and its audience.

"I want him to show his birth certificate. I want him to show his birth certificate," ...

"There's something on that birth certificate that he doesn't like," Trump declared.

"Oh that's a terrible thing to say," "View" co-host Barbara Walters said.

Whoopi Goldberg was a little less restrained in her criticism, and referred to his comments as "the biggest pile of dog mess I’ve heard in ages." One wonders if she's ever happened by World Net Daily.

n.b. The comment about there being something indemnifying on Obama's birth certificate is a long-standing slander, usually regarding his being born illegitimately or to a different father or mother than he claims. One theory has it that he's not at all Black, which makes one wonder how many Black people those theorists know.

Whether this appearance improves Trump's chances or shoots them in the foot remains to be seen. As for the wisdom of having him on the show to embarrass himself -- or the hosts -- we should remember that they let Alex Jones, on, too.

As for his chances, Trump had better get his game on quick: Michelle Bachman -- Birther Lady in Waiting -- is picking up speed for a nomination run, and gotten some backup from another, rather key Birther figure.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) is likely to form a presidential exploratory committee, two advisers said Thursday. The committee could be formed as soon as May but no later than June.

...

Bachmann is currently in Iowa, speaking to grassroots activists and state legislators. This morning she addressed the state Senate caucus and has secured the support of Iowa state Sen. Kent Sorenson.

Yes, that would be THE Kent Sorenson -- architect of Iowa's birther bill. Birds of a feather flocking together? This probably won't end well at all.

In other Birther Bill news, it would appear that Arizona's defeated Birther Bill is not going down without a fight.

PHOENIX — Legislation that would require proof of U.S. birth from presidential candidates is intersecting in Arizona with the question of whether U.S.-born children of illegal immigrants are entitled to automatic citizenship.

The proposed legislation on documentation requirements for candidates asks for information on the citizenship of a candidate’s parents. Tea party backers said Wednesday they believe people are only natural-born citizens if their parents are citizens.

...

A Senate committee on Wednesday endorsed the bill after deleting the provision on citizenship of a candidate’s parents, but it remains in a version approved Tuesday by a House panel.

The term "parasite" is being bandied about. Always nice when Birthers have to resort to bot-fly tactics to get ahead.

And speaking of parasites, by which we mean World Net Daily, -- home of the Crisis Cooker -- Joseph Farah has once again shown his questionable journalism skills. In an editorial, he admits that he lied to passport agencies in order to find out information he could have discovered if he'd just told the truth.

Whatever happened to the ten commandments, Mr. Farah? One wonders if we will soon be seeing bylines from James O'Keefe on WND...?

See you next week, and remember: "The wise understand by themselves; fools follow the reports of others"

Hey, wait...

Birther Week in Review: 3 19 11

2011-03-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

In which Trump gets Fired, Orly loses again, Farah whines again, and Georgia Birther Bill burns alive in a windmill

Donald Trump must have been reading a certain poll regarding Republicans and their strange delusions regarding our President's birthplace. This week, he decided to throw his hat in the ring for Birther in Chief.

Donald Trump, who says he's weighing a run for president next year, waded into the "birther" controversy this week, telling ABC's "Good Morning America" that he has "a little doubt" that Barack Obama was born in the United States.

The reason? Trump said he finds it strange that "nobody knew" Obama as a young child in Hawaii.

"Let me tell you . . . if I got the nomination, if I decide to run, you may go back and interview people from my kindergarten. They'll remember me. [With Obama,] nobody comes forward. Nobody knows who he is until later in his life. It's very strange."

What was very strange was Trump doesn't seem to have talked to Obama's old teachers. Or the current Governor of Hawai'i for that matter. If an intern on his show had made that kind of mistake, you know what Donald would say... right?

As for other Republicans possibly making the White House run, Rudy Guiliani is joining those who think the Birther thing is getting more than a little tiring.

"He's born in the United States, I don't see any real question about that," Giuliani said. "And even if some people have some doubts in the back of their minds it's really too late and futile. ... We have so many more important things to talk about."

Countdown to some Birther making cracks about how Rudy looks in a dress...?

Speaking of speculative journalism, Joseph "Mr. Mustache" Farah, who recently outed himself as a Birther (in spite of legal threats to the contrary) whined twice in the same week that, in spite of having a full plate of issues to contend with, the President would rather make jokes about Birthers than produce the non-existent Long Form Birth Certificate.

going once:

Barack Obama cut off the playing of "Hail to the Chief" by the U.S. Marine Band as he was introduced and asked: "Can we go with that song we talked about?"

With that, the band broke into Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."

"Some things just bear repeating," Obama cracked.

Har-har-hardy-har-har.

going twice:

"There's no weakness in us trying to reach out and seeing if we can find common ground," he said, apparently without the aid of a teleprompter at a fundraiser last week in Boston. "Now, there are going to be times where we can't. I was born in Hawaii. What can I say? I mean, I just ... I can't change those facts."

Ha ha.

In the first article, Farah acted like a kid who's had sand kicked into his face by beach bullies (who apparently won't let him into the Gridiron Club, to hear him grouse about it)

But remember what they say, "He who laughs last laughs best."

I intend to have the last laugh at Obama's expense – and the expense of all his friends and admirers in the Washington press establishment.

Good luck there, Joey. I don't think Charles Atlas made a book that turns pipe dreams into journalistic gold.

Did we say "pipe dreams"? We can't talk about Pipe Dreams without talking about America's favorite can't-do gal, Orly Taitz. Orly had another setback this week, as her attempt to punish fellow California Secretary of State candidate Damon Dunn for having the temerity to run against her and win failed - big time.

Orly Taitz, the Laguna Niguel lawyer/dentist/real-estate saleswoman/frequent Navel Gazing muse, lost yet another round in court Thursday. A judge ruled against Taitz and in favor of Irvine's Damon Dunn, a fellow Republican (and losing) California secretary of state candidate she had accused of being ineligible to run.

...

Speaking of the delusional, Taitz stated at a hearing Monday that if she wound up losing Taitz v. Dunn, she would have to file a complaint alleging violation of her constitutional right to redress, a court watcher tells the Weekly. When Judge Geoffrey T. Glass pointed out that Taitz could merely appeal, she apparently responded, "99 percent of those are denied anyway."

That's our Orly!

Finally, it would seem that the lurching monster that is George House Bill 401 has failed to get its pitchfork-perforated ass voted on, and is therefore D E A D, and will not be appearing in the intended sequel on the floor of the state senate.

(the bill) would have required candidates for President to submit long-form birth certificates showing their birth parents’ residence addresses and many other items of irrelevant information. It also required candidates to have two US citizen parents, a requirement beyond what is in the US Constitution. The bill was transparently engineered to embarrass Barack Obama by putting conspiracy theories about Obama’s origins into legislation.

(hat tip to Doc Conspiracy at Obama Conspiracy Theories)

See you next week, and remember: "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

WND's Joseph Farah Finally Admits he's a Birther

2011-03-11T20:16:00.000-08:00

After several months of insisting that, in spite of helping create and popularize the greatest non-issue of the Obama Administration, he was not, himself, a Birther, Joseph Farah has finally slipped up and admitted that he is, though he may not be entirely aware of his mistake (yet).

Full story here, at Op Ed News.

Newly Released 9/11 Video Reveals True Culprits! (Maybe)

2011-03-07T19:37:00.000-08:00

A new, previously-unrevealed film of the Twin Towers burning and then collapsing was made public over the internet today. The seventeen-minute video, which was included in the 9/11 Commission's body of evidence, was the focus of an FOIA request lodged by the National Institute of Standards and Technology. They declined to release it publicly, but it was somehow given over to Cryptome, who made certain it could be seen by all.

The film is raw and shocking, even almost ten years later. But even more shocking is what's seen if one watches the movie with special etheric goggles: electronic eyewear that allows one to see things that are not normally visible to the naked eye, such as temporal anomalies, hasty "rewrites" of history, and pan-fictional entities that strobe through objective reality like fingers waggled in front of a television set.

If one does, one sees many interesting things -- at least according to Tim Foil, conspiracy theorist extraordinaire, author of Saturday Night Holocaust: How Hitler Invented Disco, exposer of the Easter Bunny's Communist Leanings and the Reagan/Khadafy/UFO connection, and, more importantly to this latest, terrifying twist in the field of 9/11 Truth, that Cookie Monster was JFK's assassin.

According to Tim Foil, if you watch the film around 4:13 (right when the audible voice is yelling "Holy Crap") with Etheric goggles, you will see what looks like a giant, yellow robot with a very pointy head, beady eyes, bushy eyebrows, and a tuft of black hair. It can clearly be seen dancing in the smoke and cackling over the devastation.

This, according to Tim Foil, is Mecha-Bert -- exo-god tyrant of the year 2635 (621 in the New Calendar). What it's doing back in 2011, destroying the World Trade Center and part of the Pentagon, is a question no one has a sufficient answer to. But the reason no one can see it without special equipment is because, for the last several years, various agencies of the American Government have done everything possible to cover this horrible time invasion up -- just not with each others' knowledge of having done so.

"As I've reported in the past, the muppets are a cabal of psychopathic monsters," Tim said over the internet from the bunker he's been hiding in since last Christmas: "Worse than that, they're super-mega rich psychopaths. They could buy Bill Gates and use him as a toilet. That's the kind of money we're talking about, here. And the American Government is both scared shitless of them, and unable to make a move against them, because if they leave, we lost 11/12ths of our underground economy, go bankrupt, and get taken over by China -- if we're lucky."

According to Tim Foil's painstaking research, it's fear of economic reprisals or muppet boycotts that led the CIA to let one Howard "Cookie" Monster shoot a sitting President over a quarrel over Marilyn Monroe's baking skills, amongst many other hidden atrocities. The long-standing understanding between the various Agencies has been to let the Muppets do what they wanted, and clean up after by any means necessary.

However, on September 11th, 2001, the pigeon-shit hit the fan in a big, big way. How could they hope to cover up absolute evidence of a time invasion by the future incarnation of one of the most evil and wealthy beings alive -- Saffron "Bert" Conehead?

According to Tim, the answer lay in a peculiar device that the Secret Service found in Utah in 1879.

"Back in the late 19th century, the Secret Service was a two-fisted, rough and tumble organization that specialized in handling some very weird threats to America's security. This was back before it was turned into a clearing house for Alien sympathizers and Communist dupes, of course. Since then they've done away with all their cool gadgets and technology and made do with machine guns in purses. Hardly a butch weapon!

"In 1879, two of its best agents wrested a large box away from some diabolical madman who was attempting to open it and be the first man to travel back in time, hopefully doing chronal damage to America's history. Unfortunately, with the madman dead, there was no way to operate it safely, and all they could do was bring it back to Washington, codename it 'The Night of the Time Cabinet,' and keep it under observation until they managed to find the owner's manual. They never did."

However, according to Foil, on September 11th, 2001, the lights of the machine came on for the first time in over 100 years, and the device made itself easy to operate. The current speculation is that the machine was tied into whatever device Mecha-Bert used to travel back from the 27th century, and proximity to it turned it back on again.

However it happened, the American government now had access to a time machine. And the first order of the day was to use it to mask what had happened from the American people, even if they had to break every law of time to do it.

"It's funny in a way, "Foil commented: "The MIHOP Truthers (Made It Happen On Purpose) are more right than they know, however removed. The Bush Administration actually did create the events of 9/11, right up to inventing Al-Qaeda for Bert to join up with in the first place. It's just that they did so to cover up the real culprit."

The problem was that, in true pre-9/11 style, the changes to the timestream were done by the various Agencies without telling each other what they had done.

First there were three hijacked planes that accounted for the three targeted buildings, but then they wondered why the plotters hadn't aimed at the Capitol, too, and added a fourth plane.

Then they realized that planes couldn't account for all the damage and replaced them with cruise missiles, sometimes disguised as planes, and sometimes not. Passengers were alternately on board, not on board, and taken away to live on a cruise liner for the rest of their natural lives.

Then they realized the planes couldn't bring down the towers and laced them with thermite. Then the thermite was replaced with nano-thermite from the year 2102. Then lasers and mini-nukes were brought into the equation, along with several other, more exotic devices -- all at the same time.

"It was, in the words of one contact of mine, a 'screaming, bloody fucking mess.'" Foil added: "It also explains how there are so many divergent notions of what happened on that terrible day. They're all right, sort of. It's just that they're all right and all wrong at once, and while they're arguing with each other over what the FBI did after the CIA undid what the NSA did, the real culprit is sitting on the black hole throne of what's left of Thailand, far off in the future, and laughing at our inability to make war on him."

Tim Foil says that he realizes his latest expose will probably have no real effect on things, but he feels he must present the truth as he knows it for as long as he can until "they" come to shut him down.

"I've said time and again that history demands an answer. I can only hope these answers demand more answers in turn."

Solidarity with Wisconsin - How to Handle Outside Agitators

2011-02-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

I find it amazing that, at the same time the Middle East is waking up to the power of the streets, America is rediscovering that power as well.

I also find it amazing that, even in crowds of up to 100K, the protests in Mad-Town (Madison, to you) are primarily peaceful, well-behaved, and good-humored. The photo at the start of this article is par for the course of what's been happening there, and continuing to gain strength as days go by.

Of course, that has not stopped the Governor from wanting to call in the National Guard. It's on the principle of "Where there's smoke, there's fire, and where there's no smoke, we'll make some."

As I write this, I have little doubt that certain interests are already at work to try and turn these peaceful protests into raging riots. The lies are already on the move in the media, so now they want to turn the lies into facts, even if they have to make them up themselves.

In the hopes that cooler heads will not only prevail, but also win the battle of perception, I write the following warnings regarding outside agitators to those responsible and peaceful protesters who are there, and perhaps other state capitols as well. I hope that they will not be necessary, but given our country's history (union busting, cointelpro, astroturfing, false flag ops, etc) it would not surprise me if they were.

In this situation, you will most likely be dealing with three kinds of outside agitators: Counter-protesters for hire, Firestarters, and Slick Talkers.

Counter protesters for hire:

This is the classic "astroturf" thing, only upped a notch. Astroturfing is when an organized group opposing something gets a group of people together, and buses them in to counter protest whatever you're standing for, when claims it was all "organic" -- just the silent majority no longer being silent.

For something like this, they will most likely get some very nasty, rude, and mean counter protesters who seem to be spoiling for a fight. They will do everything possible to get one: name calling, threats, in-your-face tactics, sign battles, possibly even employing mace or other self-defense products to knock you down and then watch as chaos ensues.

The best way to handle these people is to IGNORE THEM. Do not let them bait you. Do not get into shouting matches. Stay clear of them as much as possible -- a wide circle is the best technique -- and do not let them herd you or back you into a corner. If they are genuinely there just to counter protest, then let them rage. If they're employed to make you angry, don't give them the satisfaction.

After all, who really has the numbers?

Firestarters:

More insidious than counter-protesters for hire are those who are made to look like protesters, but are actually there on behalf of the counter-protesters. They will probably look just like you, only a little more extreme. They want the cameras to see THEM. They want to be the focus of attention.

And they will use that attention to make you look bad. They will shout nasty slogans, make death threats against elected officials, encourage people to destroy public and private property, try to whip people up into angry mobs, and create an atmosphere in which the police think there is a threat to which they must respond.

The best way to handle these people is generally to IGNORE THEM and SHUN THEM. Do not listen to them. Do not be anywhere near them. More daring and responsible types should stand near and quietly and subtly warn people away from them. Take their picture, too -- LOTS of pictures.

If they don't get the hint and move on, you might want to find a police officer and inform them that some crazy dude in what appears to be a bad wig has just spent the last half an hour encouraging people to throw rocks at the window of a nearby Starbucks, or set a police car on fire. It's always fun to watch some angry, slogan-spouting "protester" change into a law abiding citizen in a costume when asked for ID.

And if he leaves on his own two feet, and not cuffed in the back of a police car (oh happy day) some daring soul should follow at a distance, taking pictures, and see where he goes next and who he talks to. At the very least you could warn others off. At best, you might catch him conferring with other, hopefully even less successful firestarters.

Smooth Talkers:

Even more insidious than the crazy asshole who wants you to break shit for the people is the reasonable-sounding, normal-looking person who wants to talk you into something that sounds harmless, but is actually really bad. Simply put - they are there to try and get the sheep to walk across the minefield so they can have rare mutton for dinner.

Case in point: say he's organizing a march. No harm in marching, right? Get people together, march march march. Friendly slogans, good humor, singing and laughing. All is well.

Then you go a little faster. Just a little louder. Then a little faster. Then you're turning a corner. Then another.

Then before you know it you've walked right into a police cordon, and trying to stop the fast-walking march is not going to be possible. The police turn around and see a flailing, stomping mass of people heading RIGHT FOR THEM.

Where's the smooth talker now? He dropped out two corners ago, leaving some sucker in charge. Ooops.

How do you tell a legitimate protest leader from a smooth talker? Unless you got mind powers, or are a real good judge of character, you probably can't. So the best way to avoid this is to AVOID SPONTANEOUS DEMONSTRATIONS AND ACTIONS. If you came by yourself, don't get talked into anything. If you came with a group, just do what you planned.

If you see someone starting something, take lots of pictures of its start and see if you can focus on the persons leading it. It could be important later, or it could be history in the making. Either way, you got the evidence.

---

Now, does all that sound worrisome and paranoid? Don't worry, and do not be afraid. This is your country, this is your state, and no amount of imported anger should stop you from making your voice heard, and your body counted.

And always remember - no matter what you see, what happens, or who you run into, the best weapons are in your heads and your hands.

In your heads, you have common sense and intuition. Use them both. If something smells fishy, don't go along with it. If someone sounds weird, or way too wound up, stay the hell away from them. Try to dissuade others from following violent people or doing violent and destructive things.

Know when to walk away slowly and when to walk away quickly. Do not run - that will just cause a panic. Know when to argue and when to back away. Do not get into a fight - that gives them an opening to escalate.

Do not automatically fear or distrust the police. It is their job to ensure that peace and safety prevail, and they are sworn to uphold the law -- which includes stopping outside agitators from whipping up a riot. If they appear to be acting contrary to those goals, then it's time to use your hands...

In your hand, you have a cell phone, an i-phone, or at least a digital camera. Have them on you. Take lots of pictures. Take movies if you can. You'll want to have them anyway, to say you were there, but, more importantly, those pictures will be useful later when trying to figure out who did what. (Or, in the case of lazy or bent police, who DIDN'T do what.)

If you see someone doing something strange, or behaving in an off manner, take their picture. This way it is documented evidence that could be admitted in court, sent to receptive news media, or at least put up online to help expose and shame the guilty. It may also make less professional agitators unwilling to carry through their assigned tasks and run back to the van for a bug-out - a win by any standard.

Be positive. Be vigilant. Behave. This is your time to show the "news," the media, and the world what Americans do when something stinky backs up out of the sewers and claims to speak for working people while simultaneously drowning their rights and livelihoods in filth.

The Great Lie of the Birthers

2011-02-15T21:24:00.000-08:00

"When a man lies he murders some part of the world" – Merlin, Excalibur

Birtherism – being the serious doubt that President Obama is a Natural Born Citizen – is not the only political movement based on a lie. It is, however, like its estranged cousin 9/11 Truth, one of the most infamous current ones.

It is also one that we have the “pleasure” of seeing active within our time. We can watch it grow, develop, and mutate before our eyes like some demented lab experiment.

But can we not merely observe in horror, but destroy it utterly with the reality of its untruthful origins, like sunlight dispatching Nosferatu?

Sadly, no. Much like The Monster That Would Not Die, from some grade-D late-night horror movie on television (or maybe Jason from the Friday the 13th sequels) Birtherism stumbles forth, seemingly invincible to all attempts to lay it to rest.

This may say something about the power of human credulity. It may also indicate how pathological Birthers (like their cousins in the 9/11 Truth movement) truly are.

A recent poll proves that 51% of Republicans believe that the President was not born in the United States. 21% of them are not sure. Only 28% correctly believe he was brought into this world on American soil.

This is up from a previous effort by the same pollsters, in 2009, which had the nay-sayers at only 44%. It is prima facie evidence that lies, when seriously unchallenged, become stronger.

There is also proof that, left unchecked, lies also gain weight and geometry, sometimes spawning other lies in their wake.

Case in point: first the President isn’t a natural born citizen, because he cannot provide a “long form birth certificate,” merely an “inferior” Certification of Live Birth. Then he’s spending a million dollars to keep people from getting hold of his “long form birth certificate.” Then it’s two million dollars.

The truth? The million dollar claim is as false as his not being an NBC, and the COLB being inferior. But because people refused to recognize the truth about the first lie, the second lie was formed from it, and then allowed to grow like sugar crystals around a string.

Only this rock candy kills brain cells.

Another example, stemming out from the argument about the Birth Certificate: it doesn’t matter if the COLB is legitimate or not, because Barack Hussein Obama (1) lost his citizenship when he was in Indonesia (2) is a dual citizen by way of his father’s nationality, and therefore ineligible (3) was born to one citizen parent, and not two, thus making his ineligible according to Vattel.

The truth? He couldn’t have, that doesn’t matter, and that’s right but wrong and irrelevant. But these separate lies have sprouted up in order to provide more cover for the big, initial lie, itself.

Like a child caught in a bad lie who has to keep making up (or believing) new lies to cover the first one, Birthers are tied up in a self-made labyrinth of untruth. If they’d only admit, once and for all, that maybe they were mistaken (or, yes, lying) about the first, primal lie in the chain, the key would appear and they could exit this nightmare.

But that’s too easy, and no one likes to admit defeat. To some, defeat seems like death, and we fight it with every fiber of our being – even when the victor clearly deserves to win, or we’re clearly not correct in our views.

Movie monsters that cannot be defeated are fun. Their rampages harm no one in reality. We experience vicarious thrills and then be about our way, bellies stuffed full of overpriced popcorn and soda, dreaming of the next brilliant and bloody sequel.

Lies that cannot be defeated are no fun. The rampages of their proponents make our country look ill-advised, uneducated, and shockingly stupid. We shudder in fear at the fact that just above half of the voting bloc of the Republican Party is too stupid to tell fact from fantasy, or too stubborn to admit they were wrong, and will be voting accordingly.

Jason, Michael, and Freddy never caused any real harm. Birtherism has made mockeries of people’s lives and livelihoods. It has turned an immigrant dentist turned lawyer into an international laughing stock. It has made a somewhat-obsessed far-shot Presidential candidate become a somewhat-unhinged no-shot testimonial to the destructive power of self-delusion.

It has taken the otherwise-exemplary career of a Lieutenant Colonel and turned it into a sad reminder that if you stand for anything, you’ll fall for nothing, and suddenly your “friends” will be far, far away.

It has enriched hack journalists, questionable web sites, and supermarket tabloids. It has provided fodder for late night humor, and a barometer for just how gullible someone actually is. It’s given me something new and interesting to rant about.

But it remains, at its core, a lie. And very little good ever came out of lying.

That said, there is a certain warmth and security in a lie. The truth is sometimes cold and unforgiving, and the little lies we tell help save us from its uncomfortable, sharp edges.

And big lies? They save us from having to make decisions. They animate us in anger, or lead us to acquiescence. They color our perceptions of the world and make certain positions and policies easier to swallow.

They also make it a lot easier to hate, as certain proponents of another big lie discovered to their unbridled – if genocidal – delight.

And that’s basically what Birtherism is: a permission slip for hate.

Birtherism says it’s okay to hate this black man with big ears that’s become the President of the United States of America. It’s not okay to hate him because he’s black, or because he has a funny-sounding last name, or because his father was a Muslim (however estranged from the religion), and he lived in a Muslim country.

It is, however, okay to hate him because he’s ineligible to be President. He’s a usurper. He’s hiding something. He’s not being square with the American people about some big secret, and I wonder what that could be…?

Of course, not every Birther is a hater. I’m sure there are some Birthers who are honestly just concerned about whether the President is eligible or not, and think there is some room for doubt. I would not begrudge them their stubborn insistence that, at the kernel of the issue, their lack of omniscience prevents them from being 100% satisfied that the facts of the case, as screamed from the offices of various state officials in Hawai’i, are indeed facts.

I would, however, gladly tell them that that same stubborn insistence essentially says that every person in Hawai’i who has had cause to request a COLB for some official purpose is using an inferior, inauthentic, and therefore useless “official” document, and wonder how popular that opinion makes them with the Oahu DMV, the people who read I-9s, and US Passport control.

Or did they stop to think about that? Did they ever stop to think at all?

Why do Birthers, most of whom must be intelligent enough to realize there’s something fishy about their own position, hang onto that lie? How can they claim to be on the side of the angels, yet ignore the devils dancing by their fire?

Are they really that lacking in self-awareness, or do they think the truth will be created from the lie if they only believe?

I wish I could tell you. I like to think people are decent enough to shun lies and embrace truth. But then I also like to think people are basically decent, all evidence to the contrary.

So maybe I have more in common with the Birthers than I’d care to admit?

Lakin, Loughner, and Responsibility

2011-01-31T20:28:00.001-08:00

As of this writing, it has been well over a month since I challenged Birthers to pay the former LTC Lakin back for his having dared, and lost almost everything, on their behalf. I told them they should fork over as much money as they feel comfortable doing to ensure that Lakin and his family are well looked after.

As of this writing, all we hear from those Birthers I name-checked (that would be Joseph Farah, Orly Taitz, Rev. Manning, and Alan Keyes) are crickets. Bumpkiss. Nada.

Zip.

I haven't even seen them stump for the web site that someone else made to see to Lakin's welfare. It's unfortunately too-connected to site that now exists to raise money using Lakin for their own uses -- which Farah last fronted for -- for me to really front for it in good conscience, but at least it's there.

So I can, at this point, call the mega-Birthers on their perfidy. Lakin is in jail tonight because of them, and they won't help him out. Not at all.

Nice bunch of folks, huh? Quick tip: don't do any favors on their behalf -- they will literally hang you out to dry.

However, having said all that, I must revisit something else I said lately. This was concerning a certain Mr. Loughner of Tucson, Arizona. Maybe you've heard of him?

What I said was this: Even if it turns out (Loughner) was was Beckhead, and a Palinator, and thought W was Wonderful, it still would not be anyone's fault but his own.

The fault for our output does not lie in our input, but what we decide that output will be. In Loughner's case, the output was an atrocity. But whether he was into Beck, Lenin, or the Teletubbies, the output is clearly his own fault, and no one else's.

Contrast that with my pronouncement on the Lakin matter, though:

While the decision to act on what (Lakin) "learned" from them was his own, and therefore his own fault, these people bear no small responsibility to having helped turn him into a victim of his own gullibility.

Birthers, I accuse you.

Terry Lakin is in jail tonight because of you .

A mother and child are going to spend this Christmas apart from the man they love because of you.

His personal and economic future is in jeopardy because of you.

I even made similar statements, directly to Joseph Farah, himself, not long after.

Sir, Terry Lakin is in jail tonight because of you.

He will be in jail for Christmas, because of you. He will be in jail for up to six months because of you.

And if someone chooses to remove his license to practice private medicine because of his criminal record, that will also be on your head.

On the surface, that seems like quite a jump. Lakin listened to a bunch of Birthers, and ruined his career, but while he's at fault, they're still responsible. But yet, if Loughner listened to the eliminationist rhetoric of Palin, O'Reilly, Beck, et al, then while he's still at fault, they're NOT responsible?

I must admit that I was hoping to duck this seeming contradiction behind the blinds of time and distance. However, I received a letter from the Hobgoblin Society of America just yesterday, pointing out this apparent discrepancy. And, given that I don't want any more enmity between myself and the Hobgoblin-American community after the last time (for which I am still very sorry, by the way) I thought it wise to publicly ruminate on the matter.

You know what the big difference between the two levels of responsibility in these two cases is? That would be Cheerleading, my friends. Cheerleading.

There is, to date, no evidence that Mr. Loughner was a FOX News devotee. I don't have to hand any proof that he was into Palin, or saw that graphic with the targets. I'm similarly evidence-negative on Beck, Orielly, Limbaugh, and the like.

But even if it turns out that he was a fan -- and let's say he was a gibbering, buy everything, parrot even more fanatic -- we have to ask one question: did any of those people tell him he was right and correct to shoot a Congresswoman?

No, they did not. And I'm pretty sure that, if he'd written to them and said "hey, guess what I want to do," they'd have dissuaded him from doing so, and possibly even turned his correspondence over to the authorities. And if he'd gone on the web and stated his intentions, I bet they would have shuddered in fear and done their best to distance themselves from his homicidal plans.

Because, for all their stupidity, prejudice, and other various and sundry problems that act to separate them from wonderful people like thee and me, I remain convinced that Palin, Beck, OReilly, Limbaugh, and those folks are not monsters who want Lefties dead. They'd just rather we shut the hell up and moved away, somewhere, so they could get on with the business of running America their way. That it would run America into the ground is one of the many reasons I stick around and keep my mouth open... But I digress, as I am wont to do.

Now, let's contrast that with Lakin. Lakin shot to prominence after he taped a rather ill-considered video saying that he was going to disobey his order to deploy because President Obama had failed to prove (to Lakin's standards, anyway) that he was a Natural Born Citizen, and therefore eligible to be the Commander In Chief.

And what happened then? You guessed it. He became a Birther cause celebre. The Birther cognoscenti went "atta boy" and cheered him on. They called him an American hero. They called his detractors rude things. They rooted for him, and talked him up, and encouraged him to stay that mighty course, so that he might arrive in the safe harbor of truth, justice, and the American way.

That they have failed to help him after his failure to navigate his ship past the shark-infested reefs of the legal consequences of his actions is another matter, entirely. But I think we'd call that excessive and omnipresent cheerleading "abetting" if this was a court of law situation, wouldn't we?

Yes, I think we could.

So there, my friends, is the difference between the two subjects. In one case, the "encouragers" had no direct contact with the person who did the crime, and certainly did not cheer him on in his goals. In the other, they did, and they did. And that's why the Birthers have a special responsibility in the Lakin matter, whereas the FOXies do not in the Loughner matter.

I hope that clarifies matters up for my Hobgobliny friends.

Saul Anuzis - Still Dodging

2011-01-13T21:49:00.000-08:00

Our readers might remember the attention we paid to Saul Anuzis -- who may be the next RNC Chairman, depending on how things go in the next few days -- and his interesting relationship with Kyle "White Apocalypse" Bristow.

In brief:

* Back when Kyle was just starting to make a total ass of himself, in 2007, Saul Anuzis defended him, calling him "exactly the type of young kid we want out there ... I've known Kyle for years and I can tell you I have never heard him say a racist or bigoted or sexist thing, ever."

* Saul apparently didn't know that Kyle had actually said numerous racist, bigoted, and sexist things on his group's blog, the Spartan Spectator (now locked down, so we can't show you direct evidence anymore. so much for conservative accountability!).

* Saul also didn't know that Kyle was making friends with people like Nick Griffin of the formerly Whites only BNP, anti-Islam MSU Professor Indrik Wichman, and Canadian Neo-Nazi Paul Fromm (all matters of public record).

* In the period of time after Saul defended Kyle, he apparently lost all ability to keep tabs on the "young kid we want out there," and entirely missed Kyle's slide into even worse shades of racism, bigotry, sexism, jew-hatred, and the like (again, locked down. Chickenshit).

* Saul also seems to have missed that, while studying law, Kyle had the time to crank out a racist Da Vinci Code knockoff, "White Apocalypse," and start a rather hideous blog that makes no bones about its White Nationalism.

So of course, now that he's trying to become the next Chairman of the Republican National Committee, a few of us are wondering what sort of relationship Mr. Anuzis still shares with Kyle Bristow. After a few news cycles of avoiding the question, Saul finally came out and officially dodged it.

In an e-mail exchange with Michigan Messenger Anuzis refused to say whether he still supports Bristow and he called reports of his 2007 comments in support of Bristow “an old story, out of context and irrelevant.”

“I have no idea what Kyle has been up to since he was MSU chair,” he wrote, “so I have no idea or comment on his current status or activities.”

*cough cough*

Of course, that could be true. But you'd think he'd keep better tabs on someone who impressed him enough that he publicly defended him against the bad press that he'd been getting -- bad press he clearly deserved.

So it's been some time since this connection has been brought up yet again, and so far no one in the mainstream, big time media really seems to want to make an issue out of it. Even the anti-Anuzis site that went up the other week doesn't bother to make any mention of it -- preferring to harp on perceived economic and policy-based irregularities in his past.

Is it really a deal-breaker? Maybe not. Maybe Anuzis didn't know what a total waste of DNA Bristow was when he defended him, all those years ago, and has been trying to dodge the damage ever since. That doesn't speak well of someone who's going to head the RNC, though.

All Anuzis would have to say is something along the lines of "look, politics is the game of strange bedfellows, and people I used to be associated with just a few years ago are no longer on my Christmas card list. I didn't know what a turd-burger the kid was then, and I'm horrified to see what he's become, now. I rescind all past praise and condemn his current excesses. Please do not think I share his warped beliefs. I repudiate them. They are not what the Republican party stands for, period."

So why doesn't he? Why does he cling to that dodgy dodge?

Maybe someone should ask the delegates.

Supreme Court Tells Orly No, One More Time

2011-01-11T20:31:00.000-08:00

Remember that little matter of the $20,000 Orly Taitz had to pay for wasting Judge Land's time?

Remember how she tried to get the Supreme Court to make the fine go away, and, after going through two different Judges, was told no?

Well, you have to hand it to Orly -- she gave it one more college try. But to no avail.

A fully expected announcement, since Taitz’s petition was dead-listed on the Miscellaneous Order List of cases which were discussed at the SCOTUS Conference of January 7; a day celebrated on The Fogbow as “No Cert Friday,” once the January 6 docket showed no call for response from the the government (hint hint).

The Money's already been paid, even though Orly said she wouldn't pay a red cent, before. Maybe they sent someone to harass her at her places of business? Who can say? I'd ask Orly, but I doubt I'd get a straight answer.

What's next for Orly? Hopefully a cranio-rectal reversal, but I don't know if Obamacare will help her with that one. All the same, it's Tuesday, and that means Music. So let's ask Orly a good question - Where's Your Head At?

(Basement Jaxx, by way of Gary Numan)

Whose Fault is it, Anyway?

2011-01-10T17:22:00.000-08:00

Years ago, in the classic graphic novel Arkham Asylum (a work its creator considers a failure, oddly enough), a psychologist posited that The Joker was not actually insane, but instead possessed of "super-sanity" -- a state in which he, having no true personality of his own, could change himself from day to day, moment to moment, in order to best survive in a harsh and broken world.

Batman's reply was simple: "Tell that to his victims."

Of course, that Batman was a harsh and unyielding fellow, obviously in need of some loosening up (as the Joker himself pointed out in his own, unique way). But he was right: all rational explanations, psychological hand-wringing, and in-depth diagnoses aside, whenever the monster gets out of Arkham, people die. Lots of them. Badly.

And they keep dying until someone catches the clown and puts him back where he belongs.

So who's to blame for The Joker? There's been a half-dozen origin stories, and all or none of them may be true. As the fellow said in another, classic graphic novel -- Batman: The Killing Joke -- he prefers his past to be multiple choice.

The running gag in the latest movie where he keeps offering differing accounts on how he got those scars is both informed by this situation (comicbook continuity is often a contradiction in terms) and perhaps a window into his madness. He may not even remember what happened to him. All he knows is he's here, and he's got no plan, but he's got a lot of jokes to tell... so why aren't you laughing?

Maybe as Batman says in The Killing Joke, it's because we've heard it already, and it wasn't funny the first time.

So stop me if you've heard this before. A clearly deranged fellow gets a notion to do some harm to some people for reasons that only he can fathom. The deed is done, people are hurt and killed, and, as is our national custom, we rush to judgment as soon as possible. And only well after we've had time to reflect and cool off do we see that we were just a little hasty in our judgment, but by then it's usually too late -- people who were blameless were demonized, people who were possibly involved weren't even on the guest list, and, in the end, we have to admit that the only villain in the piece is the deranged fellow who did the damage.

Yes, Harley -- you HAVE heard this joke before.

Remember Columbine? Marilyn Manson, violent video games, and the mysterious "trenchcoat mafia" were clearly at fault. Well, okay, maybe not. But MM got badmouthed, video games got another strike they didn't need nor deserve, and kids all over the country got told to leave their lovely coats in the locker, lest they carry guns and bombs into the classroom.

It turns out the shooters didn't have anything to do with goth kids and their taste in clothing or music. They were idiots who wanted to kill and then die.

Remember the DC Snipers? We were told it was the militia, or icky Muslims out to get us. Well, one manhunt later, and it's a whack job and his underage accomplice -- something of a reverse Batman/Robin relationship, complete with a modified car and a big gun. Christian militia? No. Islam? Well, NOI, maybe, but that's clearly not the Islam they were thinking about. But I'm sure the Muslims in the DC area felt a lot better, especially after it turns out that the shooter was a total nut who had nothing to do with them at all.

He was an idiot who wanted to kill.

I could go on. Sometimes I do. I really do.

But let's jump ahead to why I'm here, tonight. There's been a tragedy. Maybe you've read about it. Maybe you think you know ALL about it.

I know some people really think they do.

Some of those who think they know all about it think they know enough to lay blame at the feet of the radical Right and its irresponsible hate anthems. It's Glenn Beck's fault for making his violent fantasies known. It's Sarah Palin's fault for putting up that graphic with the crosshairs, and that "reload" thing. It's the target's opponent's fault for letting would-be voters shoot an M-16 at his rallies.

It's this ass-clown with the clever sign, and all those like him.

It's their fault. Clearly. They made this young man go and kill. Their rude, irresponsible, eliminationist rhetoric sent him spiraling over the edge and WHAM - dead people. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

Simple, right?

Well, no. Not really. There's still so much we don't know.

Do we know he watched Glenn Beck? Do we know watched FOX News? Do we know he rooted for Palin, voted for W, or stood arm in arm with pro-war neo-con loonies as they demanded we bomb Iran? Do we know if he has a THERE ARE AMERICANS AND THEN THERE ARE LIBERALS bumper sticker on his car?

No, we don't.

What DO we know? We know he was seen with his hand on the gun. We know he had an envelope at his house that indicated prior planning. We know he's described poorly by people who knew him, or knew of him. We know he refuses to cooperate with the arresting authorities.

We know he takes a scary mugshot.

Past that, we don't know jack. Of course, that has not stopped people from playing that good old blame game. At least no one thinks he's a Leftist -- at least not yet.

But give them time....

But you know what? Even if it turns out he was was Beckhead, and a Palinator, and thought W was Wonderful, it still would not be anyone's fault but his own.

The fault for our output does not lie in our input, but what we decide that output will be. In Loughner's case, the output was an atrocity. But whether he was into Beck, Lenin, or the Teletubbies, the output is clearly his own fault, and no one else's.

Invisible forces do not make us kill. Rock and roll does not cause suicide. Halo does not make you shoot up your school. Internet bullying does not force you to commit suicide.

"Puff the Magic Dragon" does not make you drop acid.

And all the FOX News in the world can't make you do anything, except maybe believe outrageous things. But what you do with those beliefs are your own damn fault. Eliminationist rhetoric does not make us act on it. Crosshairs on a congressional district and admonitions to reload do not turn us from pulling levers to pulling triggers.

So why do we play this blame game? I think it's because we like to see the world as a place where things happen for a reason. We need there to be some kind of rational explanation we can hang on to when something really terrible happens. And we prefer to believe that there's something we can actually DO to fix it, so that terrible thing never happens again.

But what do you do when the terrible thing is done by some crazy person?

If you're realistic, you admit that insane people are just going to be insane, and that there's not a whole lot you can do. You can't ban everything that might set them off. You can't take freedom away from everyone because of the actions of a few. You have to be vigilant and brave, and hope you catch the bad things before they get through.

If you're forward thinking, you see to it that the states get more than adequate money for mental health. The way we look after our mentally ill is a disgusting joke, and has been for decades now. This needs to be a national priority, and now.

And if you're like most of the people out there in talky-talk land, you find something to blame it on, and don't let go until it's totally, absolutely, 100% clear that you can no longer use the facts to support your position. Then you don't apologize, hope no one calls you on your BS, and wait until the next time something terrible happens to get your two cents back out in the ring, again.

Anything to feel like we've got a handle on a situation you can't really have a handle on.

When the Joker gets out of Arkham, people die. Batman shows up, kicks the hell out of him, and puts him back in. He will never kill the Joker, and the Joker probably won't try to kill him, either, because Batman's part of the joke, too. It's the sort of absurd situation where you have to laugh, however ruefully, because there's no sane response.

Real life is often that way.

But we here in reality have an option. We can seek the real enemy -- mental illness, itself -- and try to control it. We can put the blame where it really belongs -- a system that does not work -- and try to fix it. We can stop putting the blame where it does not belong, and do what we need to so that we won't have to blame as often, if ever.

Because if we don't recognize that the real fault is that of the person who makes the terrible thing happen, and we would rather blame other people and things for their actions than take responsibility for the poor state of mental health in our country, then we, in fact, bear much more blame than the boogeymen we nominate for public enemy #1 at these terrible times.

Even if it is Glenn Beck.

When Reality Replicates Humor, However Unfunny

2011-01-09T19:20:00.000-08:00

Watching the news on the tragic shooting of Rep Gabby Giffords (pictured above by way of some weird fring-o website) I was struck by the eerie similarities between the reporting on Gifford's alleged would-be assassin, Jared Loughner, and John David Stutts, who shot Buckwheat on Saturday Night Live all those years ago (his life and times are at 3:04).

Is it just me or are the same scripts being followed, both in reality and humorous fantasy?

(LAUGH TRACK)

Loughner ranted about government brainwashing through grammar (not a far-out idea, really). Stutts said his dog told him to kill Buckwheat.

(LAUGH TRACK)

Loughner seemed to have been planning this, possibly for some time. Stutts spent his whole life preparing. He was even a member of the Future Assassins of America, according to his high school yearbook.

(LAUGH TRACK)

And in both cases, it would seem that no one noticed there was a serious problem. No one did anything about it.

In SNL's case it was part of the joke. With Loughner... not so funny.

Yeah.

But when Eddie Murphy shot himself, back in the early 80's, things were different.

For one thing, there was no internet. So there was no youtube for John David Stutts to rant on about his dog and how much he wanted to kill Buckwheat. No Myspace. No Facebook.

Maybe he could have done a fanzine, or written crank letters to the editor of various unfortunate local papers, but not a lot of people would have read that.

Maybe a guest column in "Soldier of Fortune"?

(LAUGH TRACK)

There was just THE News. Either you got on it or you didn't. And if you wanted to get on it, you had to do something pretty spectacular. Or really bad.

So that's why Buckwheat went into a coffin, soon followed after by John David Stutts. Publicity. And a homicidal, god-bothering Dalmatian named Petey.

(LAUGH TRACK)

There was also no culture of make-your-own-news that allowed millions of uninformed people to speculate about exactly what made John David Stutts kill Buckwheat in realtime. I suppose they could have called in to radio shows and let fly, but you really had to fight to get on the air on those things.

The internet lets you on no matter what, and there's no fact check. So Loughner's been career military, kicked out of the military, and never allowed in, all at the same time.

Something of a cat in a box, our alleged assassin. Even I can't help but wonder in public...

(Looks around nervously -- LAUGH TRACK)

So is this what Loughner wanted? Publicity? If so, for what? The "interesting" ideas on his youtube channel? His exercise in flag burning, complete with "more info" rant?

There's something important in this video: There's no communication to anyone in this location.
You shouldn't be afraid of the stars.
There's a new bird on my right shoulder. The beak is two feet and lime green. The rarest bird on earth, there's no feathers, but small grey scales all over the body. It's with one large red eye with a light blue iris. The bird feet are the same as a woodpecker. This new bird and there's only one, the gender is not female or male. The wings of this bird are beautiful; 3 feet wide with the shape of a bald eagle that you could die for. If you can see this bird then you will understand. You think this bird is able to chat about a government?

How about that? Just needs someone to do it to music and we've got the next club anthem right there, don't we?

His youtube page also plays host to his favorite books, which seem to indicate a rightward/libertarian bent, with some lip service paid to everyone's favorite right-wing dictator, and everyone's favorite left-wing revolutionary tract. Many of the books are diametrically opposed to one another. Synthesis theory? Likes to read all sorts of things?

Red herrings? Is he having a laugh as we run around and try to decipher every little clue to put together a larger picture?

Keeping his name alive, just in case something should happen to HIM?

Like Mutual Life says "you could die tomorrow."

(LAUGH TRACK)

One thing I am sure of, though.

This morning, on Reliable Sources, they had a token conservative on, and she was just aghast that all these liberals were jumping to conclusions about the shooting, and trying to conflate it with Sarah Palin and her precious targets in that now-infamous graph we've got to see all over again. The other two folks there were either gracious (Clarence Page) or smug in the face of her horror (the token liberal douchebag).

All I could think was, if the shooter's last name had been Mohammed, or Sanchez, we wouldn't be told not to jump to conclusions. We'd be told what our good patriotic conclusions should be, and verbally castigated for not jumping to them quick enough.

And that's not funny at all.

Letters from Lakin - Prison Not Too Fun

2011-01-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

It seems that the Terry Lakin Action Fund (apparently managed/owned/connected to the folks from Safeguard Our Constitution, which is Paul Rolf Jensen's questionable outfit) is now playing host to Terry Lakin's letters from prison, as well as notes from his wife.

A letter from December 21 was posted on Jan 2nd.

Reception status is mostly lock down in my cell. We now get two hours of 'rec time' in the morning and afternoon. Rec time is cell door open to a common pod area with a four-seat table, an exercise bike that does not work, a flat-screen TV that we cannot watch, and two showers. Activity is playing cards or a few board games, working out in my cell between meals, reading the rulebook, Bible, and now writing letters. Looks like the routine for the next several weeks. We have limited stamps, envelopes, and I am writing with a small, soft plastic (almost rubber pen) that is not to comfortable.

After getting more integrated in January (hopefully minimum security) we may have more privileges. There will not be much use of a computer, limited phone, news, or TV. We have to order our own health and comfort supplies from a small provided list. We are allowed one order request per month and not more than $35 per month. I'm hoping they will honor my first order on credit- we have not been able to get money into our account yet - not having any communication with Pili yet. I'm hoping to get a small radio with ear buds so I can get some news radio. Had to work hard to decide about how many batteries I could get by with vs how many rolls of toilet paper to buy.

Honey, can you spare a tissue? Sounds like no one informed him how much fun prison was going to be.

His wife's notes were also of interest:

* The kids were apprehensive. They had seen prisons in cartoons and TV clips and were concerned about their dad.

* After seeing Terry they felt better because they know where he is and that he looks good.

* We visited to discuss plans and the big ad in the Washington Times

...

* The prison experience has intrigued Terry.

* He is learning the stories of fellow inmate is stricken with the inequalities of justice.

Tell me about it. Lakin's in jail for having been the fall guy, but the bumpershoot who talked him into doing this ridiculous stunt is out free.

I found it interesting that, in his first letter, whatever repentance Lakin may have shown on the witness stand at his Court Martial has seemingly evaporated.

I hope I made a difference in a very important matter. It cost me a lot. But I now have to believe it turned out okay. There certainly are no do-overs. The important thing is for the work to carry-on so we never have this situation again.

...

After the trial I overhead someone say, "Well, he's no hero now!" Sorry, I was not in it to be a hero. Just thought I was doing the right thing. I spent enough of myself and my family's future for now. Others are going to have to continue.

"Others." "Continue." "The Work." I wonder who is going to pick up the hammer?

One telling and sort of frightening note from Terry's wife:

* One senior office(r), while delivering mail, said "These are from your fan club and you're famous." Terry told him, "I never wanted to be famous." He said if didn't work there he would be writing to Terry, too.

Great.

At any rate, it's Tuesday night, and that means music. We have been informed of the sad passing of Gerry Rafferty, who was the voice behind Stealers Wheel -- which you may remember from a certain Quentin Tarantino movie -- and also had hits with "Baker Street" and "Right Down the Line." This is one of his lesser hits, which seems appropriate for the whole Lakin imbroglio: Take the Money and Run.

2010: The Birther Year in Review

2011-01-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

Once again, our friends at Oh For Goodness Sake have put together a great encapsulation of a years' worth of Birther silliness.

The only thing it seems to be missing is the rather humorous episode where Joseph Farah of World Net Daily got his undies in a bunch because Newsweek dared to call him a proponent of Birtherism. He demanded a retraction, and got a clearly unapologetic one:

Continuing to call for public officials to release personal documents even after they have been released—and continuing to dispute their authenticity even after they have been independently verified—is the very definition of fostering conspiracy theories. Nonetheless, a clarification is in order: Farah is correct when he claims that he has never explicitly stated that Obama was not born in the United States.

And that seems to have been the end of that matter... except that Farah the non-Birther then spent most of the rest of that year at bat for a birther named Terry Lakin -- then LTC Terry Lakin -- and cheer-leadered his unfortunate behind all the way into a court martial, and, unsurprisingly, the stockade.

An incident in which no one has been left laughing. No one with a soul, at any rate.

The episode taught us two things. 1: Joseph Farah is a shameless hack, and 2:, if you mention him in something there's a good chance your article will show up on World Net Daily's search engine. He seems to have caught Richard Poe's disease. But I digress.

When I blogged about 2009's Birther nonsense, last year, I mostly talked about Orly Taitz, but 2010 saw the rise of other "stars," like the unfortunate Terry Lakin. I see I was right that the issue would continue -- I just didn't expect it to cause damage to someone like that.

Another reason to keep an eye on this silliness -- it has now created at least one second-hand casualty. It will probably cause more in the next year, too, though I doubt it'll come from the armed forces, this time. Hopefully they all learned their lesson watching this fellow flail around under alien orders.

But you never know what the new year will hold... will you? I'd make predictions, but Doc Conspiracy beat me to it. Enjoy.

2011 - The Year It Is

2010-12-28T20:39:00.000-08:00

New Years Day is coming up, at least for most of us. The Chinese already had theirs. So did us Pagans, technically.

But who will be cheering as the clock winds down this friday night? Me too. The pull of the mass is too strong to avoid.

Isn't that just the way of things, though? The weight carries us where it will. Come here, put here - same thing, no difference.

Sometimes.

But we do have choices. We have directions. We have the ability to look at the fork in the road and, bucking all sense or sensibility, go the tougher, more interesting, more dangerous route.

Sometimes.

Sometimes that makes all the difference, as we're reminded in poem and song. Sometimes we wobble, sometimes we're strong.

At the end of 2009 I looked at the year ahead and wondered what it would bring. I resolved no resolutions because I never keep them, anyway. I decided no decisions and made no special plans. Just the idea that I would be better at the end of this year than I was at the end of the others.

The idea is mostly bearing fruit, some of which is my fault and some of which is not. A lot of which is not, actually. It's scary how much of the blessings come whether ye will them or not. Also the bad.

Especially the bad.

But I stand at the end of 2010 a happier person than I was at the end of 2009. And I expect things will be the same next year, will under law and all that.

Sometimes.

But ere I hear times winged chariot drawing near, and with it the merchants of doom and gloom. I hear war and rumors of war. I hear the cry of extinctions and death camps. I hear we'll all be crying our eyes out before they pluck them out whole.

I hear this year will be the last year, as we reckon them.

Me? I remain optimistic. We were not put here to crawl into death. Ours is a story that goes on for the ages, come what may.

Good things will happen in 2011. Bad also. People will die, and live. People will be born, and reborn. People will succeed and fail, try and give up, love and hate, hate and loathe, loathe and then love all over again.

This is the circle we walk, one and all.

I can't make any promises or exact predictions. I may see 2012 with joy in my heart. I may stumble along the way. I tell tales not tea leaves.

Sometimes.

But the one thing I do know is that, in spite of the weight of the world pulling us along however many millions of miles an hour, rackety-blam around a Sun going however many million more, we still have the ability to choose that path less traveled, and reap what we may of that choice.

Don't let anyone tell you the future is written. Don't let anyone tell you that you're doomed. Don't let anyone tell you that it's all going to end in tears, or screaming, or an ascension of killer angels.

Don't let anyone tell you anything.

The world is largely what you make of it. Go forth and live it, love it, learn it. Go in and out and roundabout.

Go.

12/25 - The Santa Deception

2010-12-23T20:47:00.000-08:00

(Editor's note. It's been some time since I heard anything from conspiracy theorist extraordinaire Tim Foil, author of "Saturday Night Holocaust - How Hitler Invented Disco," exposer of the Easter Bunny as a communist and Cookie Monster as JFK's actual assassin, and baker of one mean lizard boom fudge. I was about to email him when I got this weird note in the mail. I'm pretty sure it's him, but I can't be sure about his current mental state. All the same, I am bound to report on the good and the bad, so here is Tim Foil on Christmas.)

The mass media of the imperialistic American machine is happy to lie to the American people time and time again. We have been lied to by our teachers, our preachers, our Presidents, even our own eyes. Watergate, JFK, Pearl Harbor, McDonalds - all deceptions carried out to create business opportunities for the oligarchs that rule America in open secret, and also the world, which they spend half their time trying to conquer even though they rule it already.

But no deception is more insidious than that of Christmas figurehead Santa Claus - aka Saint Nicholas.

The jolly fat man with a jiggling belly, beloved of small children and childish adults the world over, is actually a creation of the American CIA, send backwards in time through alien Roswell technology - the kind most recently used to fake the Moon landing, put plane holograms at Ground Zero, and make school food look nutritious to government inspectors, who, of course, already know their role in the machine but are still needing to be fooled.

Santa Claus is a satanic robot, sent to rob you blind in the night.

His sleigh is pulled by things that would normally be circling the throne of *z*th*th, but disguised as charming reindeer. Only the evil red nose of the one in front -- actually an eye -- stands testament to the true horror of what runs loose Christmas Eve.

What does Santa do? Keeps tabs on us all for the world government. Interpol, FBI, Scotland Yard, KBG all use his wide network of spying little alien elves to watch us, one and all. It's not enough to have cameras in our toilet bowls or rewire street people as receivers for space crickets, they need the network.

Without the network it ends.

I have tried to warn the American people about the evil. I have bricked up my chimney and taped up my windows. I have warned off christmas carolers with a shotgun, leading to my recent arrest and urogenital surgery/explorations/ conducted on the UFO. I have run naked through the streets of Boston to show off the invisible scars and knock over the Salvation Army spy equipment bellringers people so they can't report back to the elves on shelves, all watching the children be innocent and smiling and not being what they want which is not what we are. We are not what we are in the future they bring and I have tried to warn them I have I have I have.

Without the network they are lost.

Unplug the elves on the shelves and the christmas trees. Tear down the icons of the evil man. Blow up the malls where they hide. Evil lurking under the sky, watching with the burning red eye of the ghost train, round and round, everywhere at once like the burning trilobed eye of ny*rl*th*t*p, watching watching watching...

My god, the chimney! The chimney!

Good night and a merry christmas to you, Tim Foil - wherever you are.

Tuesday Night Music 12 21 10

2010-12-21T20:10:00.000-08:00

Just music, tonight. This is new Jamiroquai. It starts a little odd but once the drums kick in the gold starts to spin. Just let it flow.

(and just in case you prefer old J, here's Space Cowboy for you.)

Open Letter to Joseph Farah on LTC Lakin

2010-12-21T08:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Sir:

I read your most recent column concerning the sad fate of former LTC Terry Lakin. Excised from his rank, thrown from the Army, confined for six months, and stripped of all pay and pension, he will assuredly be a sad man this Christmas.

In it, you rightly describe Lakin as "an innocent lamb led willingly to slaughter." But nowhere in your stirring indictment of his trial and his woes do I see you truly name the ones who did the leading. Nowhere do I see you identify the truly guilty party, here

That, sir, would be you.

You, and those like you, who have continued to hype the non-issue of our President's Birth Certificate and eligibility.

You, and those like you, who have turned what should have been an amusing human interest story into a cause celebre for far too many otherwise-intelligent people (and, admittedly, no few genuine fools).

You, and those like you, who, either unable or unwilling to admit that a Democrat now sits in the White House, have cobbled together a barely-coherent mythology of lies, half-truths, innuendos, and wishful reading of the law that simultaneously confirms your worst fears and gives your cause a name.

Birtherism, in other words. A state of mind you claim not to share, but an issue you don't mind taking clear credit for having created, via World Net Daily.

And it is Birtherism -- your misshapen by-blow from dallying with certain pustular political philosophies -- that has gotten Terry Lakin where he is, tonight.

There are others who share some of the blame, of course. Phil Berg comes to mind, as do Orly Taitz, Alan Keyes, and the like.

But you have a news site that reaches millions, and therefore have an obligation to report on facts and truth, or at least legitimate speculation. I'm sorry to say that you have failed in this obligation -- and badly.

In doing so, you have succeeded only in creating an atmosphere where poisoned fruit, fattened on lies and innuendo, has waxed full and evil under a gangrenous sun.

An atmosphere that encouraged one of those otherwise-intelligent people to follow a fool's errand. An atmosphere that encouraged him to disobey his chain of command, and put his exemplary career, current service to our country, and future livelihood in jeopardy.

Sir, Terry Lakin is in jail tonight because of you.

He will be in jail for Christmas, because of you. He will be in jail for up to six months because of you.

And if someone chooses to remove his license to practice private medicine because of his criminal record, that will also be on your head.

And all for what, sir? All for what?

To use the power of journalism to effect responsible change in a free society? ... No.

To call people's attention to injustice and see that the guilty are shamed and punished? ... No.

To get at the truth? Oh please - don't make me laugh. At this point I don't know if you'd know the truth if it reared up and shaved your mustache right off your face.

To get eyeballs to your site, increase your standing in conservative circles, and sell crisis cookers to people who think The End is nigh, and Tea Party manifestos to the rest...?

Well, NOW I think we're getting somewhere.

You, sir, say you aren't a Birther. You demand retractions from people when they call you one. But why else would you follow this white whale round and round these darkest of oceans if you didn't have some reason for doing so?

Why would you go into the marshes if you didn't have a dog in the hunt?

Either you're being untruthful about your beliefs, or you're trying to make a buck or two. Maybe a few million while you're at it.

It's the American way, right?

I don't know. Mindreading over long distances isn't one of my specialties. And I care only insomuch as, if you're making enough to engage in this crazy snipe hunt -- a hunt that has now created its first genuine martyr -- you can well afford to put some money where your mouth is.

I was going to write this letter and challenge you to create a fund for Terry Lakin: one that would see that his current legal fees are met, and his livelihood after prison secured. You keep wanting to send people to Paul Rolf "Otis" Jensen and his site, but they aren't giving money to Lakin, anymore. They're just asking for dough for their own "communications efforts."

I see, as of this writing, that another site, the Terry Lakin Action Fund, is claiming to represent his interests. You have not personally mentioned them in a column, yet, however.

I ask you - what are you waiting for?

I ask you - how much of your site's intake are you willing to donate to Lakin's cause, seeing as how you remain one of his loudest cheerleaders?

I challenge you - how much of your own income will you publicly donate to this man's future, seeing as how he bit down on the poisoned fruit from your garden?

Straight up - I'm sure you're not familiar with my work, but in case you couldn't tell from the tone of this letter I don't hold you or your work in high esteem. But I'm writing to you directly, anyway, because I think you have an opportunity to avert a true tragedy.

Please see to it that this man is looked after, and his family is taken care of. You owe him that, at least.

You owe much more to far too many to count for your role in their own, personal debacles while chasing fools gold at your urging, but so far as I know no one else is in military prison for it.

(You also owe an honest and heartfelt apology to our President for dragging the name of him and his parents through the mud, but I won't hold my breath on that one.)

Happy Holidays to you, sir. Appreciate your freedom to celebrate them with your family. Lakin doesn't have that option, anymore. And you know why.

Yours

J. Edward Tremlett

A Challenge to Birthers - Pay Lakin Back

2010-12-20T11:33:00.000-08:00

Terry Lakin is in jail, tonight. The Birthers helped put him in there. They are morally obligated to make certain he and his family are provided for once he leaves prison. The question is -- will they?

Full story here, at Op Ed News.

And should you feel like asking Joseph Farah (pictured above) if he will do the right thing, his email is jfarah@worldnetdaily.com . Please be as polite as possible?

EDIT: Look! Someone already HAS made a fund for Terry and his family. It's at http://www.terrylakinactionfund.com . So can we convince Farah et. al. to give a lot of moolah to them?

Birther Court Martial Days 2 and 3 equals Six Months for Lakin

2010-12-16T15:51:00.000-08:00

The Court Martial is over. Long story short: Lakin plead guilty to one charge, was found guilty of another, and was sentenced to six months confinement, dismissal from the Army, and the forfeiture of all pay and allowances.

This is essentially what those who actually KNOW something about the UCMJ -- as opposed to the online Legion of Dumb -- said was going to happen. Barack Obama could have come from Mars, and the de facto officer doctrine would still require Lakin to report for ordered. To say otherwise is to let freewheeling anarchy loose in a body that only works if people do what they're told. You'd think conservatives would know better...?

The real surprise was that Lakin pleaded guilty to one of the charges after they abandoned the Birther defense. I thought they were going to plead not guilty and throw Paul Rolf "Otis" Jensen under the bus. A little throwing did occur, but not a whole lot.

LTC Lakin stated that he didn’t say, “You had your chance,” in refusing to meet with COL Roberts. He said he would never say such a thing to COL Roberts. He believes that it was Paul Jensen who made that statement to LTC Judd.

(it has been pointed out that Jensen was not there when the reply was made, though)

The statement that Lakin (no longer LTC) was looking forward to making took the form of a question and answer session between him and his attorney. Towards the end, the attorney got pretty vicious -- possibly to elicit tears and genuine regret from his client in the hopes of influencing the sentencing body.

Mr. Puckett then became harsher still, referring to the “giant image” the members had seen “saying you invited this court-martial.” He asked, “How do you feel? Are you proud of that?” LTC Lakin responded, “No. It’s crushing. It’s crushing to my family.” Still more harshly, Mr. Puckett asked, “That little 3-year-old,” gesturing to the giant family photo still being projected on the wall. “How would that little 3-year-old feel about visiting you in jail on Christmas Day, if you’re even close enough for your family to see you.” And with that, the tears came. LTC Lakin said, “I’ve cried about this so many times. I’ve cried for a year. I can’t believe this is happening in this country.”

...

Turning harsh again, Mr. Puckett said, “It’s Judgment Day. You invited this court-martial, so you invited a sentence. Are we done disobeying orders, LTC Lakin?” LTC Lakin replied, “Yes, we are. Forever.”

The strategy didn't work so well, though.

The trial counsel who argued noted that in LTC Lakin’s unsworn statement, his focus was always on himself: how he was concerned about the President’s eligibility, how he felt his concerns needed to be addressed, and so on, until the moment came to accept responsibility — at which point the accused focused on other people and how they let him down or supposedly misled him. The prosecutor also noted that at no point during LTC Lakin’s tearful discussion of his family or during his apologia to the commander did LTC Lakin see fit to mention (the doctor who had to replace his sorry ass) or the hardships endured by anyone else as a result of LTC Lakin’s actions. (emphasis added)

The prosecution wanted 24 months (2 days for every day he skipped out on), dismissal from the Army (the equivalent of a dishonorable discharge) and, worst of all, the removal of his pay and pension. In the end, they got 1/4 of the time they asked for, but the dismissal and removal of pay and pension are going to be painful. There's also the insidious possibility that he could lose his license to practice medicine.

No one has gotten any kind of a statement from Lakin or his counsel (who had to fly to Italy for another case before sentencing was handed down). I'm sure Birtherstan has exploded by now, but I'm in no mood to navigate their moving goalposts and wade through their crocodile tears. This is one of those cases where justice was done, but nobody won.

At any rate, here's a massive thank you to the sites that have been blogging about this and providing information: CAAFlog, Oh For Goodness Sake, and Obama Conspiracy Theories, amongst others.

And here's mud in the eye of all Birthers who stopped by those places to tell us how this trial was going to end in victory for Lakin and Birtherdom, and defeat for the evil Usurper. That you were wrong, are still wrong, and are most likely to continue to be wrong goes without saying. I don't expect that to change anytime soon.

But your stupid windmill tilt has now claimed the freedom and livelihood of a decent man who, fooled by your drivel, threw himself on a grenade in the name of your cause. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

As Oh For Goodness Sake put it:

For those who led this man and his family to destruction: for undermining military discipline and morale, for putting our troops at increased danger, for shaming our country–may you never sleep another night. He has gotten his sentence and will serve it. The rest of you will have to answer to your maker. Good luck with that

And good night, one and all.

Birther Court Martial Day 1: Lakin Pleads Guilty

2010-12-14T20:56:00.001-08:00

It's all over except for the niggly bits, in other words.

LTC Lakin pled guilty to all four of the Article 92 specifications alleged in Charge II (media reports had suggested mixed pleas to these offenses). The accused pled not guilty to Charge I and its Specification, which allege the offense of missing movement.

During the hour-and-a-half long Care inquiry, LTC Lakin acknowledged no less than half a dozen times that the orders he received were lawful, and that he in fact had a duty to obey them. Judge Lind found his guilty pleas to be provident and accepted them.

...

The state of play now is as follows: trial will begin at 1500 hours with opening statements on the missing movement offense. Regardless of how the members find on that offense, LTC Lakin will proceed to sentencing. He is, on the evidence and by his own admission under oath, a criminal to be sentenced in accordance with the UCMJ.

Up to 18 months in jail awaits LTC Lakin now that he has copped to disobeying orders, though it's been said he may simply have his rank stripped from him and be discharged, which would mean missing out on a very lucrative pension.

I have no doubt that, should that happen, he may have any number of people willing to hand over money for him to speak at their Birther hee-haws. Whether he's so unprincipled as to take the money and talk remains to be seen.

The proceedings thankfully did not turn into a circus, though several Birther clowns were in attendance, most notably Orly Taitz, herself.

During a break in the proceedings this morning, Taitz told reporters that trials in the old Soviet Union were more just than what was happening in Lakin's case. She accused the judge of trying to "put words in [Lakin's] mouth" and get him to acknowledge that his deployment orders were lawful. She also claimed (Judge) Lind's previous rulings in the case excluded witnesses Lakin wanted to call and discovery of documents related to Obama's birth.

We are told that Lakin is "looking forward" to making a statement at the end of the Court Martial, which may turn out to be a defense of his Birtherism. But I guess we'll see.

Stay tuned to CAAFlog for tomorrow's updates, which should include the final verdict.

Saul Anuzis Dodges Questions about Racist Friend

2010-12-08T20:44:00.001-08:00

Readers of the rANT Farm may remember our recent article on Saul Anuzis, former head of Michigan's GOP - and a front-runner for the Chairmanship of the Republican National Committee - concerning his connection to our buddy Kyle Bristow, former head of MSU's controversial Young Americans for Freedom chapter, current student of law, blogmaster of fortune, gun-molester, and writer of the right wing, racialist Da Vinci Code knock-off White Apocalypse.

(Also a tacit supporter of a certain user of child pornography, but hey - what's some naked exploited kids when compared to a cherry recommendation for the aforementioned racist Da Vinci Code knock-off from a former big-wig in the Neo Nazi movement? Nice networking skills, there, Kyle.)

Well, just before the Tea Party Movement decided that, if they couldn't have Sarah "Watch Me Quit, Ya'll" Palin as their dream candidate for the RNC Chair, they'd settle for Saul, Mr. Anuzis finally answered critics of his connection to Kyle. Sort of.

Though Anuzis’ business is internet campaigns, he has chosen not to clarify his support for Bristow, which has been reported on several blogs.

In an e-mail exchange with Michigan Messenger Anuzis refused to say whether he still supports Bristow and he called reports of his 2007 comments in support of Bristow “an old story, out of context and irrelevant.”

“I have no idea what Kyle has been up to since he was MSU chair,” he wrote, “so I have no idea or comment on his current status or activities.”

Of course, one need only put the words "Kyle Bristow" into the google news and see what comes up, but I guess that's too hard for Mr. Technology to do. Or too beneath him? Who can say.

The Southern Poverty Law Center's Heidi Beirich rightfully called bullshit.

“Anuzis was defending Kyle long after he’d done very racist things and those things had been made brutally public in the Michigan press,” she said. “He may be distancing himself from him now, but he sure didn’t care much about Bristow’s racism for a very long time.”

“If it weren’t for Anuzis’ strong backing of Bristow’s racist acts, he may well not have progressed to the full blown hatemonger he is today. Anuzis helped build Bristow’s career. And now he isn’t even willing to denounce Bristow’s genocidal novel. That’s a bit cowardly, I’d say.”

Bristow has yet to really weigh in on his former(?) supporter's chances of election, as he's too busy studying for exams. Confronted with the article, he could only respond by making disparaging remarks concerning Ms. Beirich's weight. A moderated comment Kyle let through perhaps sums up the Solutrean blog in toto - "Only a negro would breed with that."

(Item: this white as snow correspondent thinks anti-racist activists are hot, Hot, HOT. You go, Heidi.)

As of yet, the mainstream media seems unwilling to notice the story as a whole. I suspect as the election draws nearer, and supporters of Michael Steele -- or one of the other front runners - start digging for dirt against Anuzis, it will be unearthed and flung into the news cycle. Whether that damages Saul's chances will depend on whether his constituents still consider themselves members of the party of Lincoln, or think people like Kyle Bristow really are just what they need on their side. Should that be the case, Goddess help us all.

On a funnier note, Jesus General really likes Kyle. It's a good thing someone does.

Le End of L'Affaire Lakin Looms

2010-12-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

December 14th. Fort Meade, Maryland. In a courtroom sure to be backed by legal observers, Birther nuts and their "journalistic" supporters, and other curious types. The long-awaited "proper" Court Martial of LTC Terry Lakin, for "missing movement" and other such things. Because he's a well-meaning but easily-duped fellow who let others, perhaps not so well-meaning, talk him into violating the UCMJ because the President of the United States was not a Natural Born Citizen -- they claim -- and he wouldn't go to Afghanistan unless he had more proof than has already been given out.

December 14th. When a much more reasonable legal team than the previous one will represent the LTC in court, having thankfully scrapped any and all notions of the President not being an NBC -- which was getting the previous one nowhere fast -- and instead apparently planning to do as much damage reduction as they can, so as to spare their client a massive, early Christmas present from Krampus.

What a long, strange trip this has been since last April, when the story first broke! Throughout it all, my feelings have not changed much; I still hold that LTC. Lakin was a well-meaning puppet on someone's string -- perhaps now finally realizing that he was used to dance to someone else's highly-suspect tune, and allowing for a measure of self-protection by way of his new legal time, that has gladly (perhaps gleefully) thrown the Paul Rolf "Otis" Jensen under the bus.

(Lakin's) previous civilian attorney complicated his case and is partially responsible for two of these charges by advising LTC Lakin to refuse to report to his superior officer. The defense team is now working to minimize the damage caused by this inappropriate legal advice and return LTC Lakin to his family quickly and with his medical career intact.

Schadenfreude - a dish best served either hot or cold.

Does Lakin have a prayer? Some would say so. Indeed, we have just learned (by way of our friends at Obama Conspiracy Theories) that Lakin intends to plead NOT GUILTY (!!!!!).

Is it chutzpah, confidence, or lawyer tricks? I guess we'll find out soon enough...

Having said all that, I suspect it's pretty likely that Ltc. Lakin is going to spend at least some time in Leavenworth, if only because certain people would like to make certain that other would-be "defenders of the Constitution" don't get any ideas. So, since it's Tuesday Night, and I haven't heard this song in ages, how about some Was Not Was? If you watched Pump up the Volume, you'll probably remember that this was one of the best songs in the movie, and sadly not on the soundtrack.

Happy Thanksgiving 2010

2010-11-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

To all of you, from all of us.

May you have many things to be thankful for in the coming year.

May your cup run over, your plate be full.

May you never hunger, and may you never thirst.

And may you get everything you need, or at least deserve.

Saul Anuzis' Racist Friend Speaks!

2010-11-23T20:35:00.001-08:00

Sure enough, Mr. Bristow was, indeed, monitoring the internets for his name to be dropped. Less than half an hour after my article about his relationship with Saul Anuzis hit Op Ed News, he had a comment on the Soulutrean Liberation Front.

J. Edward Tremlett has blogged about my novel, White Apocalypse, and his post can be read [here]. I'll spare you the filler and the foam-at-the-mouth-leftist-vitriol; here are the more interesting quotes from the guttershipe extraordinaire's take on my book:

Until just recently, when, thanks to a poorly-written [(The leftists claim that my novel is poorly written; I will have you defer to the reviews of the right-wingers who read and highly praised it)], self-published action adventure novel named White Apocalypse, Bristow got himself back in the limelight, and any and all questions of his having being a racialist - and possibly having been one all along - were totally blown out of existence as if struck by Thor's hammer.

And then he went on to quote my quoting of his loathsome book, specifically the "amerindian" snuff orgy rape of the white honors student. Perhaps ironically, he left in my parting comment - "Riveting reading, if you're a racist &%^k"

A couple of points:

1) I don't toot my own horn too much... okay, maybe I do... but I graduated with a degree in Creative Writing from Ohio University. Part of my training was understanding how writing actually works, and, by extension, knowing when it doesn't work. And while I might not be the best writer in the world (merely competent, some days) I know enough to know that White Apocalypse is a badly-written book. I don't care what Bristow's friends and allies think about it (in fact, I doubt if half of them actually read it) - this is about what _I know_. And I say it blows mountain goats.

2) My article was about Mr. Bristow's racism, and his connection to Saul Anuzis. The fact that Mr. Bristow's book is a massive pile of suck is an amusing, but relatively minor, note. So what does Mr. Bristow choose to refute? My opinion of his writing. Very telling, that.

3) As a good friend pointed out, the rape is doubly disgusting. Apparently there's quite a scam going on where non-Indians go into reservations, rape Native American women, and then GTFO before the tribal police can catch them. The surrounding police are then either unable to do anything about the crime, or unwilling to care. Having a bunch of "amerindians" rape a white girl is a stunning reversal of the true to life situation.

4) One of those right-wingers who praised the book is a convicted user of child pornography. Is this the depth to which Mr. Bristow has sunk, that he gleefully pals around with such persons simply because they're all fellow racists? So much for any sense of moral authority on his part!

As I write these words, the story about Mr. Anuzis' connection to this fellow is slowly getting around the net. I believe it will only be a matter of time before it actually makes it onto "real" news, most likely because a Steele supporter will allude to it in order to spare the current head of the RNC a challenge to his chair. And at that point, Kyle Bristow will be hung out to dry, just like National YAF did some time ago (regardless of what Bristow claims happened) and another door will be slammed in his face. We hope, anyway.

But it's Tuesday Night, and that means music. Kyle, this song's for you. The band is Combichrist. The song title speaks for itself.

Saul Anuzis’ Racist Friend

2010-11-22T09:10:00.000-08:00

The former head of Michigan’s GOP wants Michael Steele’s job, but he has one massive skeleton rattling in his political closet. What’s his connection to the notorious Kyle Bristow?

Get the full story at op ed news, here.

Tuesday Night Music 11 16 10

2010-11-16T21:21:00.000-08:00

One of my coolest high school teachers was a major Clash fan. I was more into the Sex Pistols, Black Flag, and the Dead Kennedys at the time, but he told me I really should invest some time listening to Strummer's outfit. I'm glad I took him up on it. Not everything they do is as good as their best stuff, but it all has a power about it - some kernel of greater truth about what was happening in England, much like what the Kennedys told about the world.

The Sandinista triple album was beloved by some major critics but shat on by many others, including a lot of fans, when it came out. Part of that was because it was a triple album, and listeners didn't really get a chance to absorb it all before putting their opinions down. And part of it was because the band, obviously pulling in several different directions at once, was splintering both personally and musically. You can almost feel the tension as the album lurches from one corner of the music world to another.

Magnificent Seven is one of those lurches, but it works amazingly well. It's an early attempt to do rap, sort of, and the tabloid-style lyrics tell a story that's funny and disjointed. A lot of people forget that The Clash could be damned funny when they wanted to, and this is proof.

We need a laugh after last November 2nd, so... here's five minutes and change of them. :) enjoy.

A Letter to My Ex, Post Election Day

2010-11-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

Dear friend:

Since we parted as lovers, we've been lucky enough to remain friends. And since then, you've asked my opinion from time to time, and as a friend I've given it to you. You've wanted my input on things and people, and what things you should be doing with which people. And I've always tried to give you the best advice I could, with friendship and respect and, yes... still a little love on my part.

So when I say "honey, what the hell are you thinking?" I hope it will be taken as it should.

I know we had our problems. I know I wasn't ideal, and nor was the situation. But what on earth could have possessed you to break up with me and go back with that walking turd you were seeing before?

Did you forget how bad things were, back then?

When we first started seeing each other, you had nothing but bad things to say about that person. The neglect, the abuse, the misplaced priorities. Long expensive parties you weren't welcome at. Pricey nights out when you weren't invited. Adventures that hurt you and cost you way too much time and money, all laughed off with "it's for your own good" ...

I could talk my head off, here. I know you sure did.

Now I know, early on, things were great. There was a way with words this person possessed, and the feeling that you could lift yourself up with just a little encouragement was very intoxicating. It felt like everything was going great, once again.

Morning in America, I think you said?

But sooner or later the promises stopped being fulfilled, and the bloom came off the rose, and then the real trouble started. And I know it was bad, because when I met you, and we started up, you were a walking ghost. I had to work double-time to make you happy and earn your trust, after how badly you were let down.

Have you really forgotten all that? How could you?

Yes, I screwed up. I didn't do everything I said I should. I didn't do all that I could. Sometimes I forgot myself, and wasn't as good a lover or a friend as I should or could have been. We've been over all that, and hopefully you can accept one more apology.

But, dammit, why? Why are you going back for another round with this creep? How could you forget how wholly and utterly this person did you wrong? How could you start back up again, after everything that happened? Are you really THAT dumb, after all?

Or were you so angry after we broke up that you'd turn to anyone for comfort?

I'm sure that person was right there, waiting. I'm sure there was a slick plot and a plan in action, along with a big price tag -- money no object to get what was wanted. A couple gentle words, maybe a listening ear, maybe some sympathy over pricey latte at that expensive coffee chain we used to have fun making fun of, back when we were a pair...

I can't go on. Seeing you drive around in that car, with that person, makes me want to throw up things I ate ten years ago.

And when I tried to talk to you about it, and you just blew me off? Well... that hurt worse than being eaten alive by driver ants, my friend. Especially when you said I was just jealous.

Maybe a little. Okay, maybe a lot. But I'd be happy if you never even saw me again, even as a friend, so long as I knew you weren't back with that person again. At least I'd know I wouldn't hear any terrible stories about how you got done wrong, yet again, even though you should have known better.

And boy, should you ever.

Please reconsider this relationship. Please remember the pain of the past and decide if it's worth risking it all again just for the sake of rekindling an old illusion. Leopards don't change their spots, friend -- sooner or later you'll stop seeing the smile and notice the fangs behind it.

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the result to change. This is textbook insanity. You are fucking crazy. And only you can open the door and leave the asylum.

Anyway, you got my number. If you want to call me up and curse me out, fine. But I'm hoping you'll remember what I'm saying, here, and just keep an eye open and an ear out. You'll know the old and true face is back on again when decisions are made FOR you, rather than WITH you.

And if you'd rather just ignore this... well... it's Tuesday Night Music. Make of this what you will.

Please Just Hold Your Nose and Vote Democrat

2010-11-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

I remember when the rightly-infamous David Duke ran for Governor of Louisiana as a Republican, several years ago, he was running against a Democrat who was as crooked as Frankenstein's dog's hind leg. It was a clear case of bad versus worse and no one was happy about it.

So some enterprising soul sold Official Bags for the gubernatorial election: the idea was that you could go vote for the crook over the klansman, and then either hide your face in shame, or be sick. As luck would have it, David Duke lost, and nothing he has said or done since then has ameliorated any of the concerns most rightly-thinking people had about his potential turn as Governor.

Flash forward to 2010. The Democrats are disappointing. But the would-be replacements waiting in the wings are a disaster waiting to happen. In a choice between disappointment or disaster, one would think the wise choice would be to vote for the former.

And yet, in what proves to be an important election -- maybe the most important yet -- many progressives want to throw their vote away by either throwing it behind a third party candidate, or else not voting at all.

How reckless can you get?

The bottom line is this: as much as the Democrats need to have some sense slapped into them, the Tea Party and their cronies (and their backers) MUST BE REPUDIATED AT THE POLLS. And this has to happen NOW, not after two years of a Republican/Teaparty-led Congress that has had ample opportunity to take the good that has been done over the last couple years, and throw it under the bus.

It goes beyond certain candidates ignorance, stupidity, or sociopathy. It goes beyond firefighters watching someone's house burn and the National Review's writers saying that it was not only okay, but a "teachable moment" to the Left. It goes beyond Birtherism, crypto-racism, curb-stomps, and arresting reporters.

It goes to the very heart of our system of government. Do you believe that the Government is there to help, but sometimes harms, or do you think the Government can ONLY EVER HARM, and needs to be shot in the face by an angry mob who, like the angry villagers in Frankenstein, have decided to get torches and pitchforks rather than let the party members of a (insert latest tea party jibe about Barack Obama here) hold onto Washington for one more day?

If you are any kind of thinking progressive, I would hope your answer is the former. It should then follow that we should do everything we can to ensure that, as nauseating and disappointing as their antics may sometimes be, we have to vote for the Democrats tomorrow.

Third parties? Forget it. As of right now, there are none who have a fireball's chance in Hel of pulling off enough votes to block the Republicans from office. None. Maybe in a few years, if enough average voters -- that is, left-leaning rather that leftIST -- abandon the Democrats, they could just have enough. But that is not now.

Vote strike? Get to !#$%. The only thing that does is not only disenfranchise yourself, and give you no right to legitimately complain over the next few years, but also negates your ability to vote for state and local issues, which are also critically important.

You can stand on your tub and pound about the need for a credible alternative to the two big, lumbering giants of American politics, but tubthumping only gets you so far when most people would rather buy into one or the other. The change of attitudes necessary to pull off such a switch is several years in the making. It does not happen overnight, and will definitely not happen in the wake of a disastrous election result, as some have encouraged: the Dems will just obstruct for the next cycle and then say "see what happened? vote us back in." And we'll be back at square none all over again, along with pipe dreams of a Green win.

There is only one party to effectively block a Republican takeover of the House and Senate, tomorrow, or at least ensure that they do not win a huge majority. It is not one of the third parties. It is not NO party. It is the Democrats.

So here's what I am suggesting: go to the polls and vote for the Democrats. You may want to hold your nose when you do so, or go be sick afterwards -- if so, good. Take that nausea and turn it into anger, and then turn that anger into energy. Then, take that energy and use it to either fix what's wrong with the Dems, or create that credible alternative.

Of course, you could always do that NOW, too. But we have to think strategically. When that alternative or fixing takes place, two, four or six years from now, after two, four, or six years of being in thrall to the Tea Party and its cronies (and backers), things will be so screwed up that it will take many more years to effectively fix. And in the meantime, those voted out will sit on their hands, be obstructionist, and claim that the mess is all OUR fault, and we should be voted out.

(This DOES sound familiar, right?)

So yes, for some of us it's a choice between tweedledumb and tweedledumber. Maybe even tweedlevil, if you consider it that way. But it's not defeatism if you look at it as a strategic exercise, and it's not cynicism if you know what you're getting and have a plan to make it work for you.

But we have to get ourselves the breathing room to fix what's broken. We will not get that unless we keep the Dems as healthy as possible this cycle.

So please. Please. PLEASE go and vote Democrat tomorrow. Wear a bag if you have to. Just make sure that people like Rand Paul et. al. are not the face of America's lawmakers for the next two or more years, and, even if we are stuck with them, it will not be so much that they can completely dominate the dialectic.

Who Are the Vote Suppression Agents in Your Neighborhood?

2010-10-31T16:05:00.000-07:00

Election day nears, and electoral disenfranchisement can happen everywhere – even on a certain street we know and love. Come and meet the people who want to make sure you don’t get to vote on November 2nd.

Narrator: You know, there are all kinds of people in your neighborhood. There are grocers, police officers, mailmen, and teachers, even moms and dads. You know all about them. But there are also people maybe you don’t know about. They don’t wear a special uniform, and don’t always work out of a special building. And they do things that maybe they don’t want you to know about, mostly because they’re un-American, and sometimes just flat out illegal. They’re around you all year long, but, just like Santa Claus on Christmas, you only really see them once in a while, on Election Day. They’re called Voter Suppression Agents, which is a really fancy way to say “anti-democratic scumbags.” Why don’t we go and meet some of them?

(Narrator walks along with the camera and sings)

“Tell me who are the vote suppression agents in your neighborhood? In your neighborhood? Who are up – to – no – good? Who are the vote suppression agents in your neighborhood? They’re the people that you meet each day…”

(Narrator goes over to a trashcan and knocks on it. O pops up, visibly annoyed and brandishing a large, expensive cell phone.)

O: What the !@#$ do you want?

Narrator: Oh, hi O. I was just bringing some folks around to talk to you about what you do for a living?

O: Who, moi? That’s none of your damn business. SCRAM!

Narrator: Oh, come on, O. I’ll get you some fresh stinky garbage? Maybe a couple… Franklins?

O: Oh… heh heh. Well, never let it be said I’m not for sale. I’ll just take those Benjamins now, my good friend.

Narrator: One now, two later. So what DO you do, O?

O: Well, that’s an interesting question. Why don’t we just say I coordinate various efforts to ensure that only certain demographics get out to vote, on the behalf of certain individuals who, as I’m sure you can guess, really would rather not be identified.

Narrator: Mostly Republicans, I’m sure.

O: Oh, you would surprised, actually. I’ve had a number of interesting counter-offers from all sorts of people – even people who aren’t actually running, but have a specific economic stake in things turning out a certain way. It’s not all about the immediate payoff, you know. There’s always room for a long-term strategy.

Narrator: Of course-

O: But, you know, I’m entirely apolitical in this matter. At the end of the day I have to go with the highest bidder. Not that I’m confirming or denying anything, you understand!

Narrator: Of course not. What do you actually do?

O: All kinds of things. Mostly I get like-minded people to do my job FOR me, without knowing I’m working a job, so I don’t have to share too much of the payoff. Usually I just whisper a few ideas in someone’s ear and send them off in the right direction. Sometimes I have to directly supervise, which is dangerous, both because if they get caught it might get back to me, and because they might want some remuneration for their services.

Narrator: Sounds like fun. Can you give us some examples of who’s doing your job for you?

O: Well… oh, here’s some of them now. Just let me do most of the talking, okay? Hey, C! Get your big, blue ass over here!

(C and a number of other large, blue monsters dressed in imposing suits stomp over)

C: Hello O, how are you today?

O: I’m just fine. Hey, um, my friend here’s interested in, um, joining the cause, shall we say. Can you let him know about your technique?

C: Technique? What this thing?

O: What you do.

C: Oh! What me do. Me and me friends dress up like this, and go to polls on Election Day. Me stand close by and wait for people who look like people we no want voting. Me ask them for ID, and if they show me ID, I say that ID no good to vote. Or I say they need two pieces. It depend on how smart they look.

Narrator: Does that actually work?

C: It work real good. No one argue with big blue monster in suit and tie. And if they start to argue, or ask ME for ID, me eat them! NOM NOM NOM-

O: No, no. No. C, you can’t eat them. That’s illegal.

C: Oh. Well, what me do?

O: *sigh* You get in the damn car and drive to the next polling office on your list, and start up again. You also do that if the same police car drives by twice in an hour, or if you overhear someone say something about talking to the poll workers about you. We discussed this… remember?

C: Oh yes. Yes. Sorry. Me forgetful.

O: That’s why you’re out today, right? Scoping out polling stations? Looking for good places to ambush minority voters and white people who look smart enough to not be our kind, but stupid enough to fall for that trick?

(C nods, along with the other monsters, but it’s clear he doesn’t fully understand.)

O: Okay. Here’s some cookies. Go on your way.

(O tosses them a really old package of crumbly, wormy cookies. The monsters jump for joy and run off, nom-noming the cookies in unadulterated joy, getting crumbs all over their nice, clean suits.)

O: *sighs* You know, they’re useful and they work for cookies, but I’m looking forward to the day we can just deport them all back to Monsterland.

Narrator: So you DO pay some of your employees?

O: I prefer to think of them as patriotic volunteers. And yes, sometimes I do have to shell out for their services, but it’s usually crumbs compared to what I make. I prefer using free labor. Like getting big, nasty-looking people to stand along the main routes to and from the polling stations, and look intimidating with their protest signs.

Narrator: Well, how does that help you?

O: Well, you have to understand – most of the voters I’m trying to turn back are chicken!#$% and think too much. If they see a big crowd of nasty people, who watch them the whole time they’re parking, they might be afraid to park or walk by them for fear of what might happen.

Narrator: I see. So they don’t have to ask for ID or anything, do they? Just look mean.

O: Exactly. And if they give the evil eye to minority voters who came from countries where voter suppression was, shall we say, much more physical, they might decide to not risk it and go back home. And the best thing is I don’t even have to pay them. I just call the right people, who talk to the right people, and then it’s on. Oh, look, there go some now!

(A group of hulking, walking teapots carrying pro-cutlery signs walk by, chanting unintelligible slogans, and boiling over with barely-restrained rage.)

O: Heh heh. You see that? Big, dumb, and angry for all the wrong right reasons. That’s how I like ‘em. You get enough of them on your side and it’s a shoo-in.

Narrator: Okay, I think I get it. But what about those people who won’t be intimidated? How do you deal with them?

O: Funny you should ask! Here’s another one of my non-employees right now.

(E comes running up with a big stack of papers.)

E: Hey O! How are you today?

O: I’m just lousy, E. How about you?

E: I’m just ducky, thanks to you and your great ideas!

Narrator: What are all those papers you have there, E?

E: Oh, it’s the greatest thing ever! We found a way to make sure that thousands of people can’t vote this election! And it’s all thanks to O, here.

Narrator: Really? Are you suppressing voter fraud?

E: Oh no, we’re creating it! You see, all these people on these lists didn’t sign for a piece of registered mail we sent out about a month ago. So we can now say they aren’t really there, and when they go to vote, they’ll be turned back at the poll. Hehehehehehehe.

Narrator: Well, that’s effective.

E: Oh, it gets better than that. That’s only HALF the list. The other is people who are using their foreclosed houses as their address. We’re arguing that it isn’t a legitimate address because they house isn’t really theirs, anymore, and by the time it gets through the courts the election will be over! It’s just total genius!

O: Well done, my good and faithful servant. Well done.

E: So do you think I’ll be head of the election board next time or what?

O: I think you’re on the right track, my friend. Run along now…

(E runs off, super-excited to have done the right wrong thing.)

Narrator: Wow, and not a trace of any remorse or regret on that face. You sure picked the right person for that job.

O: Well, why should he be remorseful? Everything he’s done is perfectly legal. He’s just raised legitimate challenges to the legitimacy of certain voters. We can’t help it if most of the people he sent those registered letters to are registered Democrats, or that people most likely to be foreclosed upon tend to be the sort of people we’d rather didn’t vote. That’s just a total coincidence.

Narrator: I guess you’re right.

O: Now, the other idea I gave him? The one about using the third party to register voters and toss out the forms filled out by Democrats? Now THAT’S total genius. The folks doing the door-to-door on that have no idea they’re being used as tools. They think they’re just getting out the vote. Oh will those people ever be surprised when they find out their own registrations never happened! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Narrator: Wow, it sounds like you have it covered from several different angles.

O: Do I ever? And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You should see what we can do with phones. Case in point…

(G walks by, dressed professionally, with a hands-free headset on)

G: Yes ma’am, that’s right. Your polling place has been changed. You need to report to 1313 Mockingbird Lane, instead. Just ring the doorbell, they’ll be waiting for you. Oh, you’re so welcome. Have a wonderful day, and don’t forget to vote!

O: Hey G, how’s it going?

G: It is going ever so well, O. That is the 304th stupid hausfrau I have successfully contacted to send to a false voting location. And that’s just on my lunch break. Which, I think I should point, counts as overtime for our little arrangement?

O: *sigh* Yeah, that it does. Just get the paperwork on the hours for you and your phone bank to me the day after, okay?

G: And the other phone bank that is telling Democratic voters with foreign-sounding last names that if they attempt to vote they will be quizzed by Homeland Security agents and possibly arrested and deported? They will also need some remuneration, my good friend.

O: Like I said, hand it all on the day after—

G: Oh, and I have taken the liberty of putting another idea into motion. On the day of, a separate phone bank will be calling the so-called get out the vote hotlines and tying up their phone lines, so they cannot answer calls from people who need transportation to the polls. I think you will find that will keep a number of our non-preferred demographic from attending.

O: Oh… yeah, that is a really good idea, G. Wow. I wonder why I didn’t think of that.

G: It is because I am super-smart and loveable. Now, if you will excuse me, stupid hausfrau number 305 awaits!

(G dials the number and walks out of earshot before he can start talking.)

Narrator: Well there’s an enterprising young monster. You might want to be careful, there, O. He’ll be taking your place someday.

O: Not if we deport him back to Monsterland first.

Narrator: Say, aren’t you a monster yourself, there, O?

O: Yes, but I’m a useful monster. That’s why I get to stay when the !#$% hits the fan. Do you have any other dumb questions?

Narrator: Well, I guess I’m wondering what else you might do that’s relatively inexpensive. I see you have to pay the phone banks, but—

O: Well, one day we’ll have bots that can do that for us, and mister smarty pants loveable monster is going to be back to flipping burgers at the local McMonsters, at least until he’s on a slow boat to—

B: Hey! O! What’s hanging?

(B comes on up, dressed in jammies and sipping a latte from Sturmbucks)

O: Why, chads, of course. HAHAHAHAAHAHAH.

Narrator: Well hi, B. I didn’t know you knew O, too. What do you do for him?

B: Well, what DON’T I do, more like. Nahahahahah.

O: Oh, you’re gonna love this part of it. B, how many people are you, right now?

B: I’m up to twenty as of last night.

Narrator: Oh? Well, you know, they make medications for that kind of problem, B.

B: Nhahahahahaha! Not like that, my friend. I’m talking about online. I’m twenty different people on about seventeen different web sites, all trying to get people from our non-preferred demographic to not vote.

Narrator: Really? How do you do that?

B: Well it’s pretty simple, actually. You just register on a left-leaning political website with a forum a few months in advance, make lefty-seeming comments on a fairly regular basis, but not too much. Maybe make a few milquetoast posts about how corrupt both parties are, and how voting is just a total waste of time, but again, not too much.

O: Yeah, you know. ‘If voting changed anything they’d make it illegal’? We’re still getting kickbacks from that one.

B: Either that or you go whole hog about The Conspiracy, and how we only change faces and not masters every election cycle. But that’s so crazy that I have a hard time portraying it for too long without becoming a total cartoon. I prefer embittered cynicism to total paranoia.

Narrator: So what do you do then?

B: Well, as the election gets closer, I make more and more noise about how voting is a total waste of time, and we’ve been betrayed and should just go on vote strike. Either that or I suggest we vote for third parties at the national level, knowing full well they have no chance of ever getting elected, at this point. But I’m kind of leery on doing that for too long, too. That’s too hopeful and, like I said, I prefer embittered cynicism. It’s my forte.

O: And the best part is, he doesn’t even have to try too hard to convince people. Most of the loudest and most frequent posters are already on vote strike, or else easily pushed over to throwing their rights away over the latest scandal or disappointment! It’s like they want to be disenfranchised!

B: Yeah. Thank God for David Icky.

Narrator: Oh, is he one of your non-employees, too?

O: Are you kidding? I only wish I could take credit for the Muppet Matrix thing. If I knew a way to make the non-preferred demographic think nothing really mattered, it would be so simple to do whatever we wanted. I’d be like, ‘hey, kids, nothing’s real! We’re all television for aliens! Don’t vote!’

(Everyone turns to look at us, slowly, and then go back to talking to one another.)

B: Well, if you’ll excuse me, guys, I got to get back to those websites! People to lie to! Flamewars to start!

Narrator: Just out of curiosity, B – how much do you get paid to do this?

B: Ha! I don’t get paid anything. I do this out of the goodness of my heart because it’s !#$% funny. But, you know, O, when the time comes, I hope my contributions to the cause will be kept in mind?

O: Yeah, yeah. On with you.

(B leaves, cackling)

O: And before you say anything, smarty-pants – we caught that conehead freak on camera with an underage pigeon three years ago. He’ll do anything for us, now. Anything.

Narrator: So you sometimes pay, sometimes bribe, sometimes blackmail, but mostly just make suggestions to the right people?

O: Oh yeah. It’s the only way to keep plausible deniability. It’s what separates you from the amateurs who get caught.

Narrator: Like those guys who were encouraging Monsters in Arizona not to vote in seemingly non-partisan Monster-language commercials.

O: Exactly! The only reason the mainsteam media hasn’t turned that into a field day yet is because we’re keeping them distracted with stupid candidate tricks and the occasional sideshow. After the election, it’ll turn out the money for that little trick came all the way from the top.

Narrator: But I suppose the people who would do the prosecuting would be replaced by people the winning side put into place.

O: You got it, my friend. And it’ll take years to go through the courts, anyway, so nothing will happen. But that’s still way too close to the trashcan for my liking.

Narrator: Well, this has been a very enlightening conversation, O. I have to say you are totally worthless piece of !#$% and I hope you get what’s coming to you.

O: I’m on the side of the Patriots, my friend. Also the Founders. And, um, speaking of the Founders… I think I get some Ben Franklins, now?

Narrator: Yes you do. Have four.

(O takes his money, laughs, and disappears back into his trash can, slamming the lid down as he goes. Narrator walks away, still looking at us)

Narrator: So you see, there are Vote Suppression Agents everywhere. People use them all the time, even in less-important elections. They might call with false information, act as barriers outside of polling stations, try to intimidate you from voting, or make you think that your vote doesn’t matter and you should just stay home.

You have a right to vote. You have every reason to vote. Do not let garbage-eating grouches take your right away from you, or talk you out of it.

(O pops up from the can, angry)

O: Hey! These hundreds are fake!

(He is suddenly surrounded by Federal Election officials)

Officials: Yeah, well these guns are real. You’re under arrest, !#$%-^&*#.

Narrator: Good night and good luck. Blessed Samhain. And don’t forget to vote.

Tuesday Night Music 10 26 10 - Gary Numan, Crofoot, Pontiac Mi,

2010-10-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

In 1979, I was 8 years old, and my parents listened to an oldies / soft rock station whose principal selling point was having really good updates on morning traffic patterns. When I heard "cars" for the first time it was like something flipped a switch in my brain. I didn't know music could sound like THAT. I didn't understand the lyrics at the time, but it had the coolest pre-MTV video I'd ever seen (this was the age when video pioneers were folks like Poco) and that sound... THAT SOUND!

I got the Pleasure Principle with my own money. I think. Maybe I just bought the single from the neighbor girl with a dollar of said money. But when I got the album I listened to it over and over, and tried to get my friends interested. If they needed any further proof that I was a wee bit weird, that was it. I remember one friend singing "Jimmy is a mental / cause he likes Metal" when I put it on the jukebox at a pizza hut when my cub scout den went out for an educational za' trip. Ah well.

I've loved gary since I was 8. 8. I am now almost 40. In all those years I have never been able to go see him live. I've either been on the wrong side of the Atlantic, or someplace he wouldn't normally come through, or destitute, without reliable transportation, kidnapped by aliens (whom Gary prays to on a regular basis, or so we're told) and any number of other lousy excuses.

So when a friend told me he was coming to MICHIGAN, and the tickets were INEXPENSIVE, and it was on a night I DIDN'T have to work... fuck yes, was I going. Wild horses couldn't have dragged me back from that precipice. I might have driven further, paid more, and re-arranged my schedule three times with four different people. I was going.

And I did.

What can I say? I was six feet away from the man. He had five other people on stage, four of whom had synthesizers, and they played through the entirety of Pleasure Principle. They came in to the b-side Asylum, went into Airlane, and then just started rocking out. The crowd -- surprisingly moribund and unmovable during the opening act's decent techno work -- surged into motion and sang along in something approaching religious ecstasy. There wasn't a silent voice in the hall by the time he got around to Cars, which, as you could expect, he saved for the end.

Then, hands rushed out and took away two of the synths, got out two guitars -- one for Gary -- and a different microphone, and they started into other works. The first one was unfamiliar, and might be off the forthcoming album. He played works from Exile, Sacrifice, Pure, Jagged... and then got everyone screaming with Down in the Park. They knocked off with Are Friends Electric, and then came back for a couple more, truly ending the evening with A Prayer for the Unborn.

Gary is exactly what I thought he would be. He towers. He leers. He conducts the darkness as though shadows were leaking out between his fingers. His voice is surprisingly intimate, then explosively powerful. He has lost none of his energy.

For a man who was sidelined -- for the first time ever in 35 years of touring -- from losing his voice on the 19th, he was amazingly vocal. He was also in good humor, as his bemused grins at people yelling FUCK YEAH GARYYYYYYYYYYYY while drunk off their asses could attest.

I wasn't the only one there with the "first album" story. Folks my age. Folks older. Folks much much younger. All came together at the church of Numan to pray to the aliens. This was worth waiting for and I'm glad I could finally make it happen. Hopefully I will not have to wait more than 30 years to see him again.

In other news, Pontiac is a bitch to get out of, due to poor street signage and asinine construction problems. I think I broke three traffic laws to get where I needed to go. Thankfully, it was Monday/Tuesday at midnight, and the cops were probably receiving handjobs from clowns. In cars.

Thank You, Juan Williams

2010-10-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

"Look, Bill, I'm not a bigot... But when I get on a plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they're identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous."

With those words, NPR and FOX News contributor Juan Williams won the dubious prize of having the first aforementioned affiliation ripped away from his chest, and having the latter one staunch the bleeding with a new 2 million contract.

One need not be too surprised at the sudden handing down of mo money. The Right is always happy to take in Leftist waifs and strays who have "seen the light," or else had it rammed up their posterior for being dumb.

They say we always get what we deserved. Apparently Mr. Williams deserved to become the poster child for the supposed tyranny of the "Left," as viewed through the lens of those who think National Public Radio takes our tax dollars and uses it to promote bad things -- like not being a jerk.

And Juan Williams was being a jerk, and should have known better. After all, if another NPR employee had said, on the public record, that they felt nervous when a black man sat down next to them on the bus, would they have lasted much longer at that institution?

Oh, but that's different, maybe you say; Black Americans didn't cause 9/11, did they? You say that thing about the bus, you're being a racist, but if you say what Williams did, you're just being honest about being prudent in this day and age.

Or maybe just human.

Maybe he was really trying to make the point that even he -- someone who should have known better -- still harbored those feelings, in spite of knowing better. That's what he's trying really hard to say now, even though he didn't seem to try really hard to say it when he was talking to Bill and his co-guest on the segment in question.

And if he had said that, and that he was trying to overcome those feelings, then things might have happened differently. But somewhere between O'Reilly's interruptions, and Islamic groups' complaining, the real message may have been lost, and Williams was dropped like a hot falafel.

So the lesson seems to be two-fold, here. Point the First, don't admit to having a problem with other people's presumed race, color, sexual orientation, or religion if you can't quickly follow it up with "... but I'm trying to fix that," and, Point the Second, don't try to do any two-point explanations on Bill O'Reilly's show, because he will not let you get a word in edgewise.

But the real story here isn't what happened to Juan Williams (unfortunate), or whether it was right or wrong (debatable). It isn't even whether it was censorship (it isn't) or a violation of his First Amendment rights (are you kidding me?).

The real story here is the sudden enlightenment that the fallout has brought us. There were many things that needed to come out and be shown to the public, and this unfortunate imbroglio has been the mother of all enemas in that regard.

So thank you, Juan Williams.

Thank you for showing us that, when it comes to Muslims in the post-9/11 world, anyone -- even someone well-educated and left-leaning, such as yourself -- is in danger of being islamophobic.

Thank you for giving us an opportunity to realize that, yes, a lot of people at FOX News, and on the Right, see no problems with being Islamophobic, and, indeed, think that more Americans really should be.

Thank you to the Right for coming to the defense of Juan Williams' free speech, thus giving us the chance to ask where they were, and what they were saying, when Helen Thomas was castigated for saying something just as stupid, herself. (though she does appear to have been given the chance to jump before she was pushed)

Thank you for giving the Right yet another chance to show us how little they value intelligent informational programing, and would prefer to leave us to the tender mercies of FOX news, the Washington Times, and whatever corporations are buying reporters these days.

Thank you for giving certain members amongst that Right the opportunity to try and defund NPR of its taxpayer dollars for this latest slight, thus ensuring that many more people will go and vote against them to ensure that paltry 3.3 million continues to come in.

And thank you to NPR for showing us that, while they'll excuse some stupid speech on behalf of contributors past and present, there is apparently a line in the sand, though where it is may change from tide to tide.

We at the rANT Farm wish Mr. Williams much luck in his future as FOX News' go-to Black Liberal in residence. He may face some tough times ahead, and awkward silences around the water cooler, but if he has any trouble fitting in, at least he can start a conversation by talking about "those people," and how they make him nervous.

You'd just think he'd know better, since, if FOX News had existed 50 years ago, he'd doubtlessly have been one of "those people," too.

Tuesday Night Music 10 19 10

2010-10-19T20:38:00.001-07:00

When MTV was new and shiny and bright, and they never ever thought of airing anything that would make it impossible for them to play music 24 hours a day, they used to play some amazing stuff, and some not so amazing stuff. I would gladly sit through untold amounts of total crap just because one of the veejays said that a band I liked would be up soon. And Split Enz was one of the ones I'd sit through Poco for.

"I got you" is one of those defining moments when you know it's the 80's all over again, and this video earns points for being New Romantic, creepy, and a glorious song to boot.

Democrats vs. Republicans / Disappointment vs. Disaster

2010-10-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

Once again, some of the rightfully angry would prefer we break our toys and go home, rather than play the game with its currently crooked rules and skewed outcomes. But if we do that, we risk our nation sliding back into a replay of the Bush II years. Do we really want to live through another disaster?

Story is here, at Op Ed News.

HOLD IT! LTC Lakin still with "Patriot" Backers (maybe)

2010-10-05T08:14:00.000-07:00

It would appear that, all visual evidence to the contrary, LTC Lakin's securing of a new (and hopefully sane and competent) legal team over the weekend has not spelled an end to his association with the American Patriot Foundation. Maybe.

After the news got out that LTC Lakin had gotten a different legal team together (given that his previous defense team's plans had been rendered armless and then legless in two different sessions with the judge) the APF started rerouting browsers from the Safeguard our Constitution website to their main site, which spoke about their involvement in the Lakin case in a decidedly past-tense tone.

However, the link to the SOC site has since gone back up again, and the APF has this to say regarding their involvement.

The American Patriot Foundation is pleased to announce that LTC Lakin has repositioned his forces, has retained new legal counsel, and is extremely grateful that the Foundation will be dedicating the critical next few weeks before his planned court-martial on November 3-5, to focusing entirely on public affairs, strategic communications/messaging and coalition-building and that their support will continue seamlessly as the new attorney prepares for trial.

The website of the Foundation is being re-designed to reflect this new focus and emphasis. Contrary to the impression left by some blogs and internet commentary, LTC Lakin is consistent in continuing on the same path that he announced publicly six months ago when he released his first YouTube video-- and consistent with his military training, to continue to request assurance from Pentagon leadership that his military orders, including his deployment orders to Afghanistan, are legal-- authorized at the highest level by a Commander-in-Chief who is Constitutionally eligible, per Article II, Section 1 of the U.S. Constitution.

...

The Foundation is pleased to continue to support LTC Lakin, a decorated and outstanding officer with 18 years of service in the Army, as he persists in his pursuit of the truth, the rule of law, and in support of his sworn oath to uphold the U.S. Constitution. Terry is gratified by the many people who have stayed in constant touch with him through the website and deeply appreciates their support, their guidance and suggestions, and their prayers.

Reading all that, two things come to mind:

1) This sounds like a massive CYA blurb, possibly to reflect the fact that they're still soliciting for money on Lakin's behalf (and their own????) and, frankly, have nothing better going for them, but no longer have a real hand in the outcome of his trial given that their hand-picked lawyer, Paul Rolf "Otis" Jensen, is decidedly off the team. "Repositioned his forces" is a nice way of saying "fired his generals," IMHO.

2) Why the hell didn't they leave the site up and then update with all this, rather thank yanking stuff down and then putting it up? Did it really take 24+ hours to hammer all this out, or were they hunkered down on the phone trying to figure out how to spin this? (I favor the latter, but the former would not surprise me in the least)

At any rate, Jensen is definitely gone-baby-gone. I doubt we will be hearing anything from him on the matter due to client confidentiality clauses and all that. Besides, he's already got another high-profile case on his docket: a case of celebrity dogbite in reverse!

What now? There's been some speculation that the new legal team might try and mount a defense by saying the old one (and the APF?) led LTC Lakin seriously astray, and turned what was essentially a bizarre hobby into actual mutiny by telling him he actually had a viable, winnable case as opposed to a sad and sorry windmill tilt. On the other hand, maybe they're just going to do the best they can to cushion the coming blow. We'll see in about a month, here.

But we should take a moment to think about poor Jensen. This was his big chance to get his name out there as THE MAN WHO BROUGHT DOWN A PRESIDENT, and instead he's back to personal injury cases. Poor fellow Jensen, who went toe to toe with Anderson Cooper, spread birther boilerplate on national television, and became another bright and guiding light in a field full of stinky and sticky black holes, is now going to slide back into the relative anonymity of has-beens and also-rans who tried and failed to touch the Sun.

And his client kicked him back there.

In honor of a man no longer worthy of news, who has definitely lost the game, we present our usual Tuesday night music. The classic hit by Human League: "Don't You Want Me?" (apparently not)

SHOCKER! LTC Lakin Deep-Sixes Legal Team!

2010-10-02T19:07:00.001-07:00

STOP THE PRESSES! In a shocking move, just days after their planned defense was rendered quadriplegic by the judge, LTC Lakin has broken up with the legal team provided by the American Patriot Foundation (that would be Paul Rolf "Otis" Jensen, the dog bite attorney) and secured the services of another, hopefully more competent team.

We do not have any direct comments from either Lakin or Jensen, but it would appear the romance is over, and neither side has wasted any time getting over it.

As of today, the Safeguard Our Constitution site, once a busy, screaming beehive of activity, is no longer directly accessibe. All former SOC URLS are now directed right to the APF's main page. The only mention of L'affaire Lakin is a decidedly past-tense blurb on the Current Projects page.

And Mr. Jensen's page no longer has a large display of him helping LTC Lakin break the UCMJ. Instead there is a redirect to his snazzy legal firm page (look out for that DOG!)

So who is Terry seeing now? According to Phil Cave:

Looks like LTC Lakin may have reached out to Neal Puckett, a real military law knowledgeable person. Either that or Neal is playing a birthday joke on Dwight.

He also asks a very good question...

Query: who at this point is going to be paying LTC Lakin’s legal bills. The website had solicited donations on the basis that they would be paying all of LTC Lakin’s legal bills did they not? Or did I miss something on that? What about all of the money donated to APF on behalf of LTC Lakin?

... which I think gets to the heart of the matter. Did the APF ever really think they had a fireball's chance in Hel of getting Lakin off the hot seat, much less get full discovery on Obama's documents? Or was this a cynical attempt to get some attention by using a willing patsy, and then reap as much money from his sad hide as they could before the show came to an end?

In other words, was this ever more than a right-wing publicity stunt, with Lakin used as bait?

As I've said before, the American Patriot Foundation's motives are highly suspect. I don't think we should be looking at Obama's records -- we should be looking at theirs. I think we'd find a number of things of interest if we did.

Irregardless, I hope LTC Lakin's new legal team convinces him to drop this Birther nonsense, and can find some way to help their client dig UP, for a change. It would be nice if this story could have something other than a horribly tragic ending.

Birthermail - 10/01/10

2010-10-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

HI,

I too have been trying to have a look at Obama's original birth certificate, passport records, school records, or anything that will clear up the discrepancies with his many Social Security numbers.

Is there any way you could look for them for me. I thought since you visit there often, you could look and see if Obama has them hidden up his or Michelle's ass.

Dear (Name Redacted)

Thank you for your enthusiastic email regarding a part in our upcoming production, “I Was a Teenage Homophobe.” Unfortunately, we have already secured actors for all speaking parts, and will not need any extras.

I know that must be disappointing, given that you were told otherwise, as you indicated. The truth is that I was certain I WAS going to need someone to replace a real problem child actor. But after a rather tense, ‘come to Jesus’ meeting with me and his agent, he swears he’s going to lay off the booze, uppers, and goat-sex so he can concentrate on his craft. He’s a friend of a friend of a friend of my producer, so I have to take him at his word.

However, I have forwarded your resume over to my colleague, who is currently casting “Night of the Return of the Living Birthers.” Given your stunning work in “Night of the Living Birthers,” “Return of the Living Birthers,” and “Birtherdamerung II: Electric Boogaloo,” I think you would be perfect for at least one of the parts.

No need to thank me! That’s showbiz.

Yours truly,

J.

LTC Lakin's Lawyer Left Legless after Legal Lancing

2010-09-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

As we've recently reported, LTC Terry Lakin's sad but certain slide into the legal whirlpool of doom was taking its anticipated course.

The previous trip before the judge resulted in most of his lawyers' planned defense being left in tatters, but the most recent pre-trial hearing, earlier this week, has essentially turned their great white hope into a drooling and incontinent quadriplegic in a broken-down Walmart scooter.

The military judge responded by determining that the orders ... given LTC Lakin were lawful. She continued by taking judicial notice of an Army regulation regarding orders and ruling that the witnesses {Keyes et. al} ... were precluded from testifying as experts, although they could end up testifying in sentencing if the case proceeds that far. Furthermore, the military judge granted the prosecution motions to prevent the defense from raising irrelevant issues regarding President Obama's eligibility to serve as the commander-in-chief and LTC Lakin's motivation for disobeying the deployment orders during the findings phase of the trial.

In other words, as most people were saying was going to happen, LTC Lakin is not going to be able to bring any Birther theories into the court martial, either to save his butt-bacon (doubtful) or have their truth proven in a legal proceeding (even more doubtful)

The more dominant half of Lakin's defense team, Paul Rolf "Otis" Jensen, was not having it.

"Our arms were cut off last time," said Jensen. "Our legs are being cut off this time ... We have to have the opportunity to present some defense!"

Just before Lind recessed the hearing to prepare her decision, Jensen asked rhetorically whether the government intended to allow him to call any witnesses at all and thundered, "This is all we had left!"

Well, when you take nothing from nothing, you're pretty much back where you started from, aren't you?

But all is not lost! We have word that the Defense is submitting a writ of mandamus, apparently hoping to have the judge forced to allow the defense they'd planned, rather than the defense they've been left with. But, in true Otis fashion, it's for "reasons I can't get into right now."

Ooooo - SPOOKY! Fortunately, it seems unlikely the writ will do anything other than take up space on someone's desk until being consigned to the circular file along with the bad idea jeans, but you have to give Jensen and company credit for trying. At this point, they'd be better off trying to claim that Lakin was possessed by Space Beavers and had no idea what he was doing or saying until just a half hour ago, and would like a do-over on the past year of his life.

He'd better brush up on his Space Beaver-ese, though. The trial resumes in early November. Get your tickets now!

(hat tips to our friends at Oh For Goodness Sake and Obama Conspiracy Theories)

tuesday night music 9 28 10

2010-09-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

A funeral for a friend has left me melancholy, and a little brain fried. This song's come in and out of my life a few times lately, and stuck in my head quite a bit over the last few days. So I think I'm going to share it.

"Dreaming of the Queen" by the Pet Shop Boys, off of Very.

Islamophobia Incorporated - Pt. 2

2010-09-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

As we’ve previously discussed, there is a distinct possibility that Pastor Terry Jones started his whole “Burn the Koran” stunt as an opportunity to sell his book, “Islam is of the Devil.” If so, he wouldn’t be the only one to take a play from the late Malcolm McClaren’s “Cash from Chaos” theory of shameless self-enrichment.

And who can blame them? It’s funny, maybe a little endearing, when someone grabs four ill-mannered kids off the dole and puts them in front of the world stage to make a Pound or two, in spite of the fact that there’s only one way the train ride’s going to come to an end – screeching into the station at 3am, filled with broken passengers, faux media outrage, and loads of dosh. Wham, Bam, Pay Cash Ma’am.

But it’s not even remotely funny when American Muslims – especially those who came here to escape crappy legal, social, and economic conditions in their home countries – are demonized, scapegoated, and viewed with undue suspicion in order to make a buck. Some of the true believers might actually think they’re doing the right thing, which is even scarier, but I hold that some of these professional islamophobes are intelligent enough to know they’re full of it, and just don’t care.

There’s just too much money to be made off of the dead.

Take the case of Chuck Morse, with whom I have been well acquainted for almost ten years, now. A talk show host from Boston, MA, he liked to call himself “the most controversial talk-show commentator in America.” He even had a book entitled “Why I Am a Right-Wing Extremist,” just to prove it!

If his name sounds familiar, it’s because his most recent claim to fame was unsuccessfully running against Barney Frank three times, with each time out being progressively more embarrassing. In 2004 he had to do it as an Independent because it turned out that Mr. Morse -- fire-breathing, anti-Communist, “self-described ‘politically conservative Jew,’” -- had been registered as a Democrat all along, and was therefore unsupported by the Republicans. In 2006 he was unable get enough signatures to appear on the ballot at all, so he did a write-in campaign, instead, but had to drop out when it became apparent the quest was going nowhere.

Those two runs left him clearly unelectable, over $51K in debt, and considering suing Wikipedia over his biography there. To add insult to injury, two years after that it was revealed that a fundraising firm used his name to collect obscene amounts of campaign money for the last, abortive run, and then hardly gave Morse any of it. Compared to that, his attempt to get back on the ballot for 2008 is hardly worth mentioning.

So why am I mentioning all of this? When Chuck Morse originally ran for congress in 2004, his website was completely remade, and all links to his old op-ed columns were erased. At the time I wondered if he was trying to clean up his image for the run, which would make sense given his ill-considered pillorying of Martin Luther King and Harry Potter, and attempts to rehabilitate Joe McCarthy. But then I decided he was probably encouraging people to buy the books of his writings instead, now that he had access to a much larger audience than ever before.

Unfortunately for him, Chuck put the mother of all freebies up, himself, over at the arch-conservative – and highly Islamophobic – Free Republic. Morse engaged in a number of vanity postings: putting his own articles up for all the Freepers to read and comment on them.

And they’re all still there, including some very new ones, so you can marvel at Chuck Morse unplugged on a wide plethora of intriguing subjects, most notably Islam, Muslims, the Koran, and the Prophet, about which – and whom – Chuck couldn’t seem to find anything positive to say, from what I could see. Strange and surreal information abounded, rumor and innuendo reigned, and he thought we should point nukes at Mecca at best, and “nuke ‘em now” at worst.

Needless to say, Morse’s columns were mostly a hit over there, with the notable exception of his pot-shots at poor Mr. Potter, and a few digs for his blatant self-promotion. I can only assume his site got some hits out of it, but I wonder if anyone actually bought his books if they could just get it for free? I guess you’d have to ask Chuck that one.

So why am I bringing this history up? Because Chuck Morse is back with a bullet, baby. Our good friends over at World Net Daily – notoriously Islamophobic, as well as THE home base for Birtherism – have recently found a home for Mr. Morse’s most recent writings. And they have brought him in as a commentator on things Islamic to explain why most Americans think Barack Obama is a Muslim.

The name "Hussein" doesn't just sound Muslim, says Morse. It is "reserved exclusively for Muslims." In addition, Islamic law upholds that children born to a Muslim father are automatically Muslim, says Morse. The president's stepfather, Lolo Soetoro, was Muslim.

Except, of course, that anyone can name their child anything they want to (except in certain countries). And you are not a proper, capital-M Muslim until you pronounce the statement of faith (the Shahada) in front of witnesses, regardless of what your father or mother were. And that, by the time he got around to being Obama’s father, Obama Sr. was an atheist, and whatever Lolo Soetero was doesn’t factor into this discussion.

So yes, it’s been some time, but Chuck Morse is still talking out of his behind on Islam, and not giving a damn. But it gets better!

"By converting out of Islam, Obama either became an apostate, a murtadd, in Arabic, or he began engaging in an Islamic-sanctioned deception and thus remained Muslim," says Morse. "If Obama truly left Islam, and actively embraced Christianity, he could be subject to severe penalties under Islamic law including the death sentence. Islamic Shariah law calls for the execution of any Muslim who becomes a murtadd."

In other words, Obama’s critics have caught him in a classic “have you stopped beating your wife?” scenario. He can’t say he was a Muslim or he’ll be killed, or he won’t fess up because he’s hiding it so he can do icky, nasty things to America and we’ll never know.

The third option – that he was a young man searching for a spiritual home that he eventually found in Christianity – seems too ordinary for them. Or not icky and nasty enough for a man they’ve decided represents everything icky and nasty about America, and must therefore be ridden out of D.C. on a rail.

Now, I’ve never been one to accuse Mr. Farah or his cronies at World Net Daily for giving two tugs of a dead dog’s phallus about the truth, so long as it suits their agenda (see above). But why on earth would they take someone like Chuck Morse under their wing, when it’s fairly clear that he is to the factual, responsible journalism they pretend to practice what slasher movies are to pre-teen sex in the woods?

If I had to take an educated guess, I would say it’s because amongst Mr. Morse’s many books was one that hit all of WND’s bells and whistles. A well-researched and, strangely enough, factually accurate – though its conclusions are questionable – book that linked elements of Middle Eastern Islam with the original Nazi Party, and was able to bring the influence forward to the modern day, however questionably.

The Nazi Connection to Islamic Terrorism, originally printed in 2003, was republished by World Net Daily earlier this year. Since then they’ve been pimping the hell out of it, as is their in-house style. And I’m sure Chuck is appreciating that, as I am also sure he is now getting his word out to a much larger audience than running against Barney Frank ever got him. After all, this time he is in no danger of losing his shirt, and is now almost guaranteed of fame, notoriety, and money.

All he has to do is play the game he already plays so well: write about Muslims, add in just enough platitudes so he doesn’t sound like an outright bigot, but constantly harp the notion that “real” Islam is a series of kill orders from on high, and “real” Muslims are either following those orders, or allowed to lie about what they say, or what they’re doing.

In Chuck Morse’s view, trust becomes distrust, acceptance becomes wary, and tolerance becomes suicide. You’d think a member of a religious minority that was often lied about and scapegoated itself would know better. Apparently not.

Who else is playing the game but should know better? Pamela Geller. And we’ll talk more about her next time. In the meantime, here’s tonight’s musical interlude. The band is called Combichrist. The song is “Sent to Destroy.”